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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Terrible Parenting

98 replies

AwfulDreadfulMummy · 26/07/2011 13:38

I am a TERRIBLE parent because....

DS (almost 7 months) rolled off the futon. He can now, I assume, roll more than once in a row....he SCREAMED his head off for 5 minutes while I panicked and cried, but is absoltuely fine now. Still tempted to take him to A&E for a CT scan though...

I also feed DS mostly jars, because they're easy and he gets a MUCH greater range of tastes than I'd cook. Mostly Organix ones though...and occasional Ella's Kitchen ....

I use dummies (well, he does...obviously).

I HATED all the Mother and Baby massage / tea / signing group things so don't go anymore. He does see lots of other babies with friends though....

AIBU to ask what you do that makes you a 'terrible Mummy' to make me us all feel a bit better?

OP posts:
Zimm · 26/07/2011 16:45

Oh no - you are not a bad parent for accidents happening. I am much worse you see. Due to poor parenting skills my 11 monther barely naps and will only eat ella's kitchen and some finger foods. I also lose my temper with her. She is not even one FFS. See? I am much worse. Oh yes she has accidents too, head bangs, trips the works.

LineRunner · 26/07/2011 16:49

I once used a non-organic mango.

MollyMurphy · 26/07/2011 16:58

Don't fret OP - sounds like you are a caring parent. Parents who don't care don't feel guilt over it.

Well we are terrible parents for weaning our 8 month old off his soother because a bloody book told us we should......only to reintroduce it out of desperation at 9 months with the opinion that he can take it to college with him if he wants.

I'm a terrible mother for wanting to watch daytime tv while my 10 month old plays in the living room when we are home. I'm told this is probably setthing him up for a bad bout of ADHD.

I could go on and on really.....

Whatmeworry · 26/07/2011 17:11

If I recounted all the scrapes the DC's had before they were 2 yrs old I'm sure every single Caring Agency would be on my case, if you think the futon is bad just wait till the first bump-bump-bump-waaah (falling down the stairs) happens.

I also thought those Baby & Toddler groups were competitive parenting gone mad dire.

superjobee · 26/07/2011 17:17

DD spent about a year falling off the couch at least once a week more like 3 times a week from around 6 months! at first we all ran to her screaming then eventually it was a case of ''babys fell someone get her before she gets in the kitchen pleeeease'' Blush

we once had an old friend of mine from school in - she was rubbish with babies and had no knowledge of DDs couch hopping antics - i think DD was around 8 months at this point, well best mate was in kitchen with me, DD was perched on couch, old friend was on chair, DD falls off couch old friend looks shocked and screams''oh my god your baby is on the floor what'll i doooooo?!!!'' one of the funniest things ive seen to date Grin DD has always been a right wee attention seeker!

CBear6 · 26/07/2011 17:20

When DS was about 7mo I hit him in the face with his highchair. He was sitting on the floor and I picked the highchair up to pop it back in the kitchen after his lunch, I stupidly picked it up with one hand on the back and one on the tray. I hadn't clicked the tray back on properly so it came off in my hand meaning I only had hold of the back and the chair swung backwards away from me and straight into DS's little face. He went flying backwards and he was so shocked that he sat with a wobbly pet lip for a full ten minutes before actually crying, and he had a huge bruise on his forehead.

He once sat himself up too close to the edge of our bed and toppled backwards straight off the side. That evening I was running his bath and he was on our bed again. I stood up to go check the bath and told DH to sit down and make sure DS didn't fall again (I was still feeling guilt for that morning). DH thought it would be funny to bellyflop onto the bed and that the bouncing mattress would make DS giggle. So he bellyflopped and the mattress bounced. DS didn't giggle though because it bounced so hard that he was instantly flipped straight off the side of the bed.

To date he has eaten/drank sand, soil, glitter, wedding confetti (I found a gold "congratulations!" and a teeny champagne glass shape in his nappy), PVA glue, dog food, several ants and at least one spider, windfall unripe crabapples from my parents' tree, Miracle-Gro, a pound coin, a Haribo he found in the street, two BB pellets, and a teabag. He's fast and he's sly, I've foiled his attempts most of the time but these are the ones that slipped through.

He's two next month and still has a "dee-dee" (dummy) although he has been cut down to mostly bedtimes only and will be off it entirely soon.

DH asked the other day where DS got his latest bruise and I joked that I beat him while DH is at work. This has backfired enormously as DS now grins and says "I'm beaten" whenever the mood takes him.

The neighbours think I'm a terrible mother because he's going through a phase of throwing a shit-fit at bedtime, full of screaming tantrums in his cot even though he's blatantly knackered. He's due a growth spurt and he does this each time, it's one of the ways I know a spurt is on the way. Well this time round the little toad darling has gotten wise and will whimper "mama, mama" in the most pathetic voice you can imagine whist grinning his head off. If this gets no response he tries it with "dada". When this doesn't bring us running he pounds on the wall and the cot with the flat of his hands and shrieks "MAMA! Nooooooooo! OW! OW MAMA!". And we let him carry on his charade until he falls asleep, we sit next to the baby monitor trying not to laugh out loud whilst the neighbours probably sit there wondering what we're doing to our poor child.

He had Greggs for lunch today but refused to eat his pasty and ate a bag of Wotsits instead. This was after two French Fancies.

virgo1979 · 26/07/2011 17:30

Shock at linerunner. How COULD you?! :o

My DS, 13 months old, fell out of our bed last night. Onto the extra cushions that were chucked on the floor may I add. Don't really know how he ended up not in the middle but he landed on three cushions and was ok. Think DH was more traumatised than DS was....

SomekindofSpanish · 26/07/2011 17:36

No terrible parenting today.

However, when DS1 was 18 months (he is now alomost 10), I shut his fingers in the front door. I was trying to keep him safe while I ran to the car. I thought he was screaming because he thought I was leaving him Hmm. Anyway, no broken bones and he does not remember - I do!

I also remember feeding him pizza, which I thoguht was meat feast, when it was actually chilli beef Hmm Hmm. Aagins, this memory is lost on him

I can't even talk about DS2's incidents and DS3 has escaped...so far.

It only gets worse as they get older Grin

InFlames · 26/07/2011 18:12

Rofl :/)

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 18:29

I thought babies rolling off things was how we learnt they could repeatedly roll Confused NO? Grin

YANBU, but if he's alert he sounds fine tbh. They will only offer CT scan if loss of concoiusness etc.

I have just had a terrible mum moment about 1/2 hour ago. Feeling emotional as DS last day at Infants today - he doesn't seem to care! - get out of car from work/ club pick up, tell him before I get out to pick up lunch box, tell him as he gets out, he doesn';t do it, starts talking about random crap, I ask him what he's forgotton, he stands in car looking at lunchbox but still not registering. I yell say 'just pick up your bleeding lunchbox and get inside before I lose my temper!' Hmm Grin

pjmama · 26/07/2011 18:36

In my pinned-to-the-sofa-for-hours-breastfeeding days, I used to look down and find my twins covered in biscuit crumbs and I once dropped the remote on DDs head.

They've also both on separate occasions been slid ungracefully out of the rear facing car seat, when I've picked it up having not snapped the handle back in place properly, nor strapped them in.

I once let DS and my niece perch on the front of my 3 wheeler buggy, then hit a tree root and launched them face first into the dirt.

I'm surprised they've survived this long tbh.

Fairenuff · 26/07/2011 19:06

My DH sat on DD once when I'd put her down and he didn't notice Grin

And another time, helping her climb up a ladder on play equipment, he pushed her gently from behind and she fell onto her face and cut her lip. I thought he was going to cry as he was so upset. She said, with fat lip and little sobs "I should have held daddy's hand" - broke his heart.

ZonkedOut · 26/07/2011 19:10

Yesterday I left DD2 (4 months) on DD1's bed while I went to the loo. DD1 (2) must have pulled her little sister off the bed. I heard a thump and a little voice say, "DD2 fell off". She wad crying for quite some time, and I was crying too, thinking she might have hurt herself badly and what a bad Mum I am. Fortunately, she seems to be fine. Babies are pretty resilient.

DD1 has had her moments too, she broke her finger while pulling herself up on my PC. She fell, pulled it on top of her and must have caught it in something. It is still slightly crooked and I feel the guilt every time I see it!

bossymummy · 26/07/2011 19:36

Once when I was trying to write a shopping list with dd1 on my lap, I inadvertedly wrote on her head with biro and I had to scrub quite hard to get it off! I also hate M&T groups and only ever use jars to feed dd1.

candr · 26/07/2011 19:37

When I was a nanny my DH and I took kids to play area and he spun the little one round loads at top of soft play area on one of those spinny stands. She then threw up EVERYWHERE! Now when we take them to parks she always asks to be pushed or spun but not by DH please. I found it quite funny and made him help clear it up as I had warned him, he still feels bad but I bet he does it again with ours when he is old enough to play.

wigglesrock · 26/07/2011 19:43

AwfulDreadfulMummy I have done all the things mentioned in your op, I have a 6, 3 year old and 5 month old. When my microwave pings (for the steriliser) my 6 year old shouts, "look Mummy, dinner's ready" [shrugs] Grin

InFlames · 26/07/2011 21:21

Oh my god I feel so much better :-) ALL the mums I know are perfect in every way - now suspect they're liars !!!!

DS fine after his flying off futor incident - happy as larry!

InFlames · 26/07/2011 21:22

It's SUCH a relief to know I'm not the only one who looks away for 2 ticks or has had rolling-off-futon / bed / chair incidents!

iwanttoseethezoo · 26/07/2011 21:31

I dropped my 3 wk old DS3 out of my bed in the middle of the night... he landed on the floor and as he was swaddled he rolled a little way underneath.
I was scrabbling around on the floor yelling at my DH to turn the bloody light on, I'd dropped the baby! and then found him, picked him up panicking, to see that he was still sound asleep. If it'd been my PFB then we'd've been on the phone to NHS direct, but i checked him for bumps and went back to sleep. He's fine :)

Zimm · 27/07/2011 07:16

wigglesrock - love it! Ping!

wigglesrock · 27/07/2011 09:36

Thanks Zimm my mum is feckin' scundered Grin

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 27/07/2011 17:35

DP cut off the end of 6 month old DS's thumb yesterday with nail clippers. :( I had read about this happening on MN but DP hadn't, he was traumatised! Today carrying DS on my hip I went to hoist him back up and somehow ended up stubbing my thumb rather sharply into his nose. Tears. :( I didn't read about that one on MN!

2littlegreenmonkeys · 28/07/2011 18:37

Oooooh I remembered a few more Blush

When DD1 was about 3 mo, we had to take her to A&E (I fail to remember why Blush )and as the pead came to see her I had her in my arms went to stand up to pop her on the bed and whacked her head on the corner of the metal bin Shock she screamed so loudly I thought the pead would take her from me there and then and pass her over to ss Blush

DD1 (again, poor child) had to be taken to the OOH Dr's as she was being constantly sick and had a rash, she was about 4 weeks old. DH had cut her fingernails and had taken the skin off each finger and made them bleed. The Dr (had DC of his own) said 'oooo I remember the first time I cut my sons fingernails I did that'. DH was very Blush

Then there was the time I dropped the car seat from mums car with DD2 in it. She slept through it all Hmm

The time I didn't check I had put the buggy up fully and it partially collapsed with DD1 in it, luckily she was a robust 18mo by that point, I was heavily pg with DD2 and a nice man came to help me sort it out.

I am sure I will remember more soon Grin Blush

alowVera · 28/07/2011 18:55

Dd1 once fell off the drivers seat of our camper van and onto the ground, about 5ft. I had literally turned to the side to get something, and couldn't catch her in time. She was 4mths old at the time.
She once escaped from her straps in the pushchair and fell face first onto the pavement (6mths), she didn't even cry, but did have a massive bruise on her forehead.
DD2, um, where do I start, she's an accident waiting to happen.
Climbed out of her cot, and thumped on the floor, eats soil, flowers, Raw potatoes, and pretty much anything she puts in her mouth.
She still has a dummy at 3.
Oh and she has massive teeth, which I've figured out is why she splits her lip every time she falls over. (which is at least once a week!)

Think maybe a name change is in order.

Mrsxstitch · 28/07/2011 19:05

OP if he cries right away that's a good sign.

BTW it is a matter of official court record that I am the 'worst mother in the history of all mothers' You can't be that bad OP.