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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Home alone?

42 replies

NorfolkBroad · 26/07/2011 08:31

When do you think it is ok to leave your child home alone for say 15 -20 mins while you pop to the corner shop?

OP posts:
Sewmuchtodo · 26/07/2011 08:32

When they are at secondary school.

youmeatsix · 26/07/2011 08:32

you will get a lot of answers "child dependant"
and it is really

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 26/07/2011 08:39

I started doing it when they were in year 6 (to get them ready for going to high school)

Original poster
NorfolkBroad · 26/07/2011 08:39

yes, you are right, it is a tricky one. thank you though.

OP posts:
joric · 26/07/2011 08:42

Year 6/7 :)

HarrietJones · 26/07/2011 08:56

I would with dd1(11) but not dd2(9).

theredhen · 26/07/2011 09:13

Yep depends on child. However I do know that lots of my friends started allowing it year 6/7.

cory · 26/07/2011 09:17

I was fine with age 7-8 for such a short trip- but then I am foreign and expect a lot of maturity of my dcs. And I have to say they have never let me down.

bruffin · 26/07/2011 09:25

Around 8 - depending on the child.

QOD · 26/07/2011 09:29

I left my dd yesterday for the first time ever - was for 45 mins while I did the shopping in the town about 3 miles away. She is 12.7 and will be in year 8 in September. Longest before that was only like 5 mins.

Depends on your child, mines an "only" and didn't want to be left ....

cory · 26/07/2011 09:33

I think QOD makes a good point: listening to your child is part of the process. Mine have spent a lot of time in Sweden where it is quite normal for children to stay at home and play while their parents go shopping, or to play outside unsupervised, so they took that for granted.

squeakytoy · 26/07/2011 09:35

At the age of 7 I was able to go to the shop for my mum, so equally she was able to go to the shop and leave me indoors for a short period of time.. probably no more than an hour.

I was a sensible kid though, and mature for my age.

Themumsnot · 26/07/2011 09:37

With mine around 8/9. Youngest is 9 now and I would leave her for 15 min - but will leave her in charge of my 14-year-old for an hour or two. My 11-year-old I would leave on her own for up to an hour, but not in sole charge of the 9-year-old. It depends on maturity levels and as others have said, how comfortable they feel with the situation. I once had the 11-year-old son of a neighbour arrive at my door in a complete panic because he thought his mum had gone out and left him alone - she was actually having a shower and didn't hear him calling her.

Themumsnot · 26/07/2011 09:38

Duh - meant in the charge of not in charge of the 14-year-old

Original poster
NorfolkBroad · 26/07/2011 09:44

I was the same Squeakytoy. I used to do my mums' shopping when I was 7. Plus I used to walk to junior school from that age and it was a 2.5 mile journey. All my friends did the same so I often had company. Am I imagining it or are "things different" now to the way they were in the 70's?

OP posts:
HermioneRocks · 26/07/2011 10:47

I leave my ds aged nearly 10 for up to half an hour and hvae done for a few months

DialsMavis · 26/07/2011 10:52

age 8ish depending on child. I would leave DS on his own but not when he has a friend round.

seeker · 26/07/2011 10:55

When your child wants you to.(within reason obviously) in our family, 7 ish for ds, 10 and even then she had to nerve herself up for it for dd.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/07/2011 11:01

The only thing different between now and the seventies is that parents were rather more relaxed. The world wasn't any more or less dangerous than it is now. I don't know when it became fashionable to hover over kids 24/7 but I don't think it's progress. To answer your question. When DS got to Y6 I felt he'd be OK left for a period of time at home. He's a sensible kid and is usually quite glad to see the back of me. :)

itisnearlysummer · 26/07/2011 11:06

My DS was 10. I wouldn't have left him before that. I would have trusted him not to do anything silly, but know that he would have panicked if the front door/telephone had gone. So it wasn't appropriate and he didn't want it.

He's now 12.5. We leave him for an hour or so while we do the shopping but wouldn't leave him for longer than 1.5 hrs and make sure that we all have mobiles and he can contact a neighbour, just in case.

Wouldn't leave him with his Dsis or a friend. Too much responsibility.

It's about making sure that he feels/is safe.

startail · 26/07/2011 11:06

DD2 from 10, if she doesn't want to collect her sister from music which takes about 20 minutes.
DD1 is 13 and quite happy to let herself in or be left for an hour or so.

I've never left them together for more than 30 minutes, I think you'd get an hour tops before they got on each others nerves.

basingstoke · 26/07/2011 11:08

DS wasn't ready until 9. DD is fine at 7.

Kladdkaka · 26/07/2011 11:09

My daughter is 17 and I still try to take her with me. But then she's a bugger for accidently setting the microwave/cooker/hairdryer/whatever on fire.

basingstoke · 26/07/2011 11:09

I wouldn't leave them together (10 and 7). They are more sensible alone...

worraliberty · 26/07/2011 11:09

It totally depends on the child