to think a mother of a 22 month old really has little idea of the reality of parenting an older child?

[Grumpygils]

I was sent a link to this blogpost today about children telling tales. It is written by the mother of a young toddler, and the implication is that if we all follow her wisdom then our children are less likely to display tale telling behaviour she dislikes in older children.

She herself acknowledges that her ideas may come back to bite her on the bum in a few years. AIBU to think it is ludicrous and smug to blog so knowingly about something you have no direct experience of yet?

Her ds hasn't even hit the argumantative 2 year old stage yet!

She should wait until she has two children, I find it very useful when DS tattles on DD because she's up to something....

I object to this sentence, "Maybe I just like it when people mind there own dang business." Why can't she just say "fucking"?!

exoticfruits Oh yes, I hate the emotional blackmail style of parenting too! As if the only reason one should or shouldn't do something is based on whether it will make your parent feel sad or not!

I had parenting sussed until DS got mobile at about 7 months. It has been downhill from there. Every day I know a little less!

My problem at the moment isn't tale-telling as such - it is that DS (just turned 2) makes up such random crap and tells me about it that I am rapidly losing my grip on reality and sliding into the very, very strange world inside his head.

On the way home yesterday I was informed that Steve (one of the builders who is doing some work at the house) is stuck in a tower, that when motorbikes stop it is because they are broken and their man has run away into the shops, and that a building which is being demolished was crashed into by an aeroplane. Oh and apparently I broke the bus.

I am not sure what to do with this information. Assume that the decoration of the spare room will not be happening due to Steve's incarceration in the tower? Call the police regarding the disgraceful cover-up of an aeroplane crashing into a central London building? Turn myself in for bus-breaking?

My head is actually going to explode.

Oh, but it is so worth the wait when life and experience bites them in the bum.
Not worth getting cross, many parents of the very young live in their own bubble and think that if they get everything just right, always feed them organic and free-range and only ever use best practice, then they can avert evil and their child becoming tricky. That will only happen to Other People.
It's the 21st century equivalent of hanging blue beads on the cot to avert the evil eye.

I must be a rrreeeaaalllllyyyyy bad parent! Mine are 15 and 12 and ther still tell tales!

tattling is about children establishing their sense of justice and fairness and i wouldn't discourage it outright. it's also a chance to teach your children about tolerance and acceptance, that sometimes we accept someone else's misbehaviour but choose not to do the same thing ourselves.

i'm also a strong believer in rules and following the rules - children need structure and to know there are ramifications for their actions.

but what the heck do i know.

When my dd was about 2 I got a book from the library about tantrums. In the introduction the author said that her 3 children had never actually had a tantrum because she was so skillful at avoiding them! Really annoying!

Saggyoldclothcatpuss I loved your comment, that's all I can think of to say too

@ kungfupanda I really like the sound of your DS - just enjoy him! :)

Sorry not much to add, DS is almost 3 and I know I don't know anything and also I know that I don't even know what I don't know!

So basically what I meant so say is YANBU :)

I don't know what's scarier about that blog - the tweeness of the parenting, or the adverts along the right hand side. "Pulling the Moon Down", "Pre-seed lubricant"

Chandon Yeah, I liked the bit about choosing where to hang his coat too .

I'll confess I'm a mother of a child of a similar age, but she's my third, I'm STILL learning how to handle rotten behaviours and I DO follow several of her principles (offering choices, talking about feelings). With 3 I really don't have the energy to sweat the small stuff either . However I don't remember ever deluding myself that parenting this way would avoid or even minimise irritating phases , and I would certainly never blog about it!

Btw I also dislike telling a v young child they are in the wrong because they made you feel a particular way. To a toddler of this age, or even one a bit bigger it is meaningless, and in a few months they will likely be continuing with the unwanted behaviour ignoring mother whilst she spouts paragraphs at them. If they are jumping on the sofa then lift them down with a firm "no jumping" FGS. The trickiest part will be keeping calm when you've done it for the 67th time and they're still ignoring you . Let us hope they don't go to soft play, or she will be that mother begging her child to stop hitting the others whilst every other parent in the place just wishes they'd go home!

After the 13th time of telling them, I'd probably get a lot little shouty!
Which would probably explain why, if I asked my ds15 where hews ted to hang his coat, he'd probably tell me to stick it up my bum!

kungfu - the lies don't get any better. DS is 4 and is always telling me about the pack of red eyed wild rats that are rampaging through the house when my eyes are averted. And the man who lives in the bathroom. Our house is teeming with all sorts of people and animals allegedly