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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think a mother of a 22 month old really has little idea of the reality of parenting an older child?

40 replies

Grumpygils · 25/07/2011 22:55

I was sent a link to this blogpost today about children telling tales. It is written by the mother of a young toddler, and the implication is that if we all follow her wisdom then our children are less likely to display tale telling behaviour she dislikes in older children.

She herself acknowledges that her ideas may come back to bite her on the bum in a few years. AIBU to think it is ludicrous and smug to blog so knowingly about something you have no direct experience of yet?

Her ds hasn't even hit the argumantative 2 year old stage yet!

OP posts:

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 22:56

Yeah but it's no different to some of the crap people spout on here is it?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 25/07/2011 22:57

I find that all the most vocal experts in any area are the ones with little or no actual experience in that area.

Original poster

Grumpygils · 25/07/2011 22:58

worraliberty

OP posts:

Doodlez · 25/07/2011 22:59

Celebate Catholic priests doling out marriage advice have the same effect on me Grumpy!

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 25/07/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scurryfunge · 25/07/2011 23:00

Blogs are such self indulgent wank fests, they mean nothing anyway other than to the people who write them.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/07/2011 23:02

"Blogs are such self indulgent wank fests, they mean nothing anyway other than to the people who write them."

Totally, even the ones with millions of readers.

faverolles · 25/07/2011 23:03

I was a much better parent before I had dc. I suppose this is similar - parenting an idea of how a child should behave, and how you would deal with it, and how the child will react to that.
Until you actually deal with a stroppy year old child, you have no idea what method will work. If any will at all

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 23:03

Blogs are such self indulgent wank fests, they mean nothing anyway other than to the people who write them

Oh God that is so true!

I've never read a blog in my life and have no intention of starting

scurryfunge · 25/07/2011 23:04

I know....people will read any old tripe.

HeIsSpartacus · 25/07/2011 23:06

I am already flailing at the sudden onslaught of food throwing and arched back tantrums and hitting bouts at 18 months. The only thing I am very sure of is that I know not what the fuck I am doing and haven't got time to pontificate ahead on bad behaviour in 8 or 9 years time - there's too much to be dealing with right now!

Even within 18 months every developmental stage has surprised me as a new challenge. I can't imagine that changing.

Original poster

Grumpygils · 25/07/2011 23:07

I particularly enjoyed the bit that reads

'you and your friend are having trouble sharing that toy. Can you think of something else you can do together?'

OP posts:

babybythesea · 25/07/2011 23:08

Can I just say in a very small voice that blogs can have their uses?
I write one. My PIL live on the other side of the world - I write a blog so that they can see regular photos of the dd, and have some idea of how she's doing. As she gets a bit bigger and can talk to them on the phone r Skype it's becoming less important, but with the varying time zones this can sometimes be a problem. The blog is a great way to try and show them as much as I can about their gd, as they can't see her for themselves.
But I don't expect anyone else to be interested.

worraliberty · 25/07/2011 23:21

Why not just email them or write a letter?

afussyphase · 25/07/2011 23:40

I have a blog for the same reason - far away relatives and it provides a bit of story along with the pictures. And because I just know I won't make a physical scrapbook and I want to remember these days when the little darlings are small. And I also want to remember how it wasn't always happy giggles and strawberries. While I agree that the vast majority of blogs are self-indulgent boring tat, possibly including my own (!), there's the odd really great one - I really like www.alittlepregnant.com which I found ages ago. I think what makes it much better than most is that it's not just personal, it takes on issues beyond that one family. And it's well-written and interesting and occasionally really really funny. And occasionally really sad. And sometimes insightful. Anyway: blogs can be great, or totally insipid.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 26/07/2011 00:31

I cant abide these softly softly parents! The are usually attached to some horrid little brat who thinks they can do exactly what they like!

Whatmeworry · 26/07/2011 00:46

I knew far more about parenting teenagers when I had a 22 month old than I do now with teenagers :o

Ignore blog......

thursday · 26/07/2011 00:49

some blogs are interesting. i read a few, VERY few, that have a purpose to the wider world. personal family diary type ones are just practical ways of staying in touch and yes you could just email, but it's nice to have everything in one place where it wont accidentally get deleted or lost. MANY many blogs truly are pointless wank fests though. the sort where the author feels the need to share their opinion on everything because they think they're so very interesting. and they like to do it on a platform where no one can prove them wrong or argue with them and they can fabricate a reality to suit. painful.

the smugness of imaginary parenting is something you're supposed to learn not to do within the first year arent you? before you have your first you're filled with 'i will never....' and eventually you have to crack somewhere. once that's happened surely only a fool would continue to think they can foresee how events will play out before they get there. i tolerate my childless SIL telling me she'll never do this or that that i do, because i said i'd never do it too. i patiently wait :)

marriedinwhite · 26/07/2011 01:13

As a mother of teenagers I never thought, not so many years ago, that I would let the 16 year old toddle off to Rock on the train on his own on a Saturday morning to spend four nights at a house with 6 other teenagers and a 77 year old grandad and his young(ish) second wife. Oh crap - but if he comes back in one piece I suppose grandad probably deserves half a case of decent claret. Imaginary parenting needs to get real and at least I gave him a lecture about alcohol and condoms!

Morloth · 26/07/2011 07:19

Not as annoying as the people who have total nightmares for kids who like to offer unsolicited advice.

Chandon · 26/07/2011 07:36

the thing I really disliked is:

"where do you want to hang your coat, in the hall or in your room"

so that poor kids don't get too many rules thrown at them.

twilight3 · 26/07/2011 07:42

didn't you knwo that the best oarents are the people without children (although soon-to-be parents tend to be even worse as they have probably watched a couple of episodes of tiny tearaways and think they're the masters of parenting

Iggly · 26/07/2011 07:46

I'm a mother of a nearly 22 month old and have no idea what I'm doing

holyShmoley · 26/07/2011 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 26/07/2011 07:58

I always find them quite fun if I don't read too many! You could pick holes in most of it-(I expect her DS will!). I particularly hate making DCs responsible for an adult's feelings as in 'mummy will feel sad if you do that'.

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