to think this is a sick thing to do?

[BooyHoo]

my ex has put holes through every single one of my condoms. i found out on holiday at the weekend. realised one had a hole in it, checked the rest. they all had tiny holes right through them. i have already used some. have appointment at gum clinic this afternoon. i am seething. who does something like that?

If your tests from Gum clinic comes back with something nasty, here's what I would do...

Get a new pack of condoms. Wipe them clean so that there are no fingerprints on them. Leave them in the usual place and have your ex around again on his own.

When he's gone, check them for holes, but hold them carefully on the ends, so as not to mess up any fingerprints.

Take it to the police to be tested.

The police might not be able to use your evidince in court, but it might spur them on to do an investigation of their own, which can be used in court.

I hope you won't have any problems following this, it's an awful thing for him to have done. I think you should keep him on the doorstep in future and create strong boundaries, which if he crosses, you start being prepared to call the police.

I don't even have words to describe how shocked I am that this cannot be a police matter.

I thought she could at least get him on a lesser charge, but if you say there is no law against tampering with condoms, I don't know what to do.

It is bloody shamefull yes!

OK, you have to stop thinking of this man as DC's father, or a friend. He is your enemy and means you harm. So you can't rely on him for anything and you need a restraining order to keep him out of your home. The thing is, when a man has shown himself to be abusive and unreasonable, there's no point trying to make him 'see reason' and respect you, because he doesn#t respect you, to him you're only a 'woman' and he can do what he likes to you. So with men like this you need to get them hit hard with all the legal resources possible, for the sake of your safety and DC's safety.

Op , i hope your tests come back ok .

What a nasty little shite of a man your ex is !

I doubt he has actually thought about what putting holes in condoms could cause .

Sti's wont even have crossed his tiny mind.

If hes the possesive type he will NOT want lovely new man to impregnate you ,that would give someone else "rights over you "

More a case of trying to stop you having sex with lovely new man instead...if you see condoms are damaged , you wont use them iykwim?

Either way hes a nutjob and you need to keep him out of your home ! .

sadly droves, i think an sti is exactly what he was hoping for. he probably laughed at the thought of me catching something and being 'dirty', it would serve me right for daring to leave him.

SGB you have it right. he isn't and never was a friend. he just wanted to 'own' me. he has tried several times to get me back and when i ask him what it is about me that he actually loves and wants, he cant tell me. he just says i will always be his and i should be with him.

Could people who do this not be charged with recklessness about endangering a life (I forget what the exact wording was), like the nurse in the saline/insulin case has been charged with? I would have thought putting someone at risk of STIs could qualify for that.

SGB is right, he is your enemy.

You definitely need to report this to the police, BooyHoo.
I think you will need evidence to secure a conviction but this is serious so they might do a DNA or trace evidence search in the house, you never know.

The consequences are huge, not just for you but also for your new DP - what if he ends up being an unwilling Daddy? I hope ypou get it sorted, meanwhile get fresh supplies of contraceptives abd make sure your new DP keeps them safe away from your house.

Words fail me sometimes! Good luck honey, I hope you get some resolution.

Honestly, whether or not the police can do anything about the condoms, you can have this man legally prevented from ever entering your house or communicating with you in any way (if necessary, you can insist that all messages re DC go through a third party because you do not want to speak to him or hear from him ever again).
Bear in mind that you owe him nothing and that it's fine to leave a relationship you're sick of.