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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to set the age when DD gets things by when I got them?

54 replies

Lizcat · 24/07/2011 19:10

I know I am, but canvassing others opinion of when is a good time, oh and I'm stuck at work with nothing else to do. So my stance to the can I get my ears pierce, a mobile phone and a TV in my bedroom. The summer after you are 13, 24 and 27 respectively. Really this my opening negiotiation with a 7 going on 17 year old.

What does the great netmums jury think? More the mobile phone and TV as don't want to open the ear piercing can of worms.

OP posts:
ManateeEquineOhara · 24/07/2011 19:53

I have said DD can have her ears pierced between primary and high school.

TV in room, as above, never, totally unnecessary.

Mobile, probably when they start secondary and have to do some getting to school by themselves, would put my mind at ease somewhat.

LoveMyGirls · 24/07/2011 19:55

I was 8 when i got my ears pierced (because my sister had been begging for years and my mum made her wait til she was 10 and then decided I might as well have mine done at the same time), 17 when I got a mobile because I was living in a rough area with a baby and 14 when I had a tv in my room.

LoveMyGirls · 24/07/2011 19:57

oh forgot to say dd1 had a tv at 8 (but the remote can be confiscated if needed) I think she was 8 when she had her ears pierced as well and 10 when she got a phone.

marriedinwhite · 24/07/2011 20:01

Me: Ears pierced at 16, mobile at 39, TV in bedroom - never.

DS (now 16): Ears pierced hopefully never, mobile 13, TV in bedroom - not whilst he lives here.

DD (now 13): Ears pierced at 10, when she reached the menarch but closed during first year at secondary because of the all the taking out/putting in for PE and not bothered, mobile 12, TV in bedroom - not whilst she lives here.

They don't have computers in their bedrooms either and aren't going to get them in there.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 24/07/2011 20:02

Me : Ears pierced at 2, tv in room at 11 and first mobile at 22.

Dd's : Ears pierced at 3, tv in room at 8, mobile at 11.

belgo · 24/07/2011 20:11

I agree. I was five nearly six when I had my ears pierced, so my girls have had their ears pierced at more or less the same age.

I don't suppose they will hold out until they are 24 before they get their first mobile phone....

MrsKravitz · 24/07/2011 20:13

First wristwatch (winder) at 12. Ears pierced at 40. First transistor radio at 8 or 10 (not sure)

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/07/2011 20:15

TV in bedroom, never. It has been shown in adults to affect sleep and your sex life. I know we are talking about DCs but why get into the habit.

HPonEverything · 24/07/2011 20:17

Ears at 13, by which time she'll have worked out it's more edgy to not get them done at all :o

She can have a mobile at 24 but only if it's a brick and she pays for it by saving up 3000 coke can ringpulls

And a TV in her (university) room at 19 - she will have to work all summer in a factory to pay for it, whilst her brother will get a big massive one free from grandma because he has the bigger bedroom that has the room for it.

Not that I'm bitter or anything....

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 24/07/2011 20:21

Ears pierced the summer before secondary school as mine were, TV in room after GCSEs finish, mobile phone I'd say 13 or when I let him go out into town by himself. No need for a mobile just to play out with friends.

Lizcat · 24/07/2011 20:22

I apologise profusely I am on Mumsnet. My only excuse was that I was at working observing a cat recovering anaesthetic whilst typing and must have typed in the wrong order.

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/07/2011 20:24

I begged and begged my parents to allow me have my ears pierced when I was 7. They relented and omg the fuss and grief I caused my poor mum! She had to take me the hairdressers to get them removed in the end because I wouldnt let her near them.
I had them pierced again when I was 13/14. DD can have hers done at about that age if she wants.

My first mobile was when I was 15. I'm going to wait till they're older (they're only 4yrs and 19 months old) before I make a decision on that one.

The only time I had a TV in my bedroom was when we moved back in with my parents for 6 months last year.
Again i'm unsure and in two minds about it.

MindtheGappp · 24/07/2011 20:26

I got my ears peirced when I was 10, but it was all driven by my mother. I had no desire for pierced ears.

My DDs are 14 and 12 and they have never asked for pierced ears.

No TVs in bedrooms.

They have mobile phones, even though I didn't have one until I was 31.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 24/07/2011 20:31

lol at age of first mobile. Got mine when dd was 4. When I was a teenager only yuppies went around with giant bricks held to their ears.

bruffin · 24/07/2011 20:32

My Mum anbd MIIL didn't get their ears pierced until they were in their 60s/70s. It was peer pressure they egged each other on Grin. Neither DD or I were going to wait that long.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 24/07/2011 20:33

No telly in bedrooms here. There is one downstairs, that's enough for any family:)

They can have mobiles when they gets jobs to buy and pay for their own. If they are gifted with one by family members it will be confiscated, sold and the monies shoved into their bank accounts.

The eight year old though about having her ears pierced this summer, but has decided not to. The three year old still prefers hats to jewellery:)

gillybean2 · 24/07/2011 20:38

I think you need to consider her peers as much as when you had these things. I'm sure you wouldn't want her to be the only one not to have a mobile and to be resenting you for it.
Young people's social life is based much more around texting and internet/FB now. So I don't think you can say 'I didn't have it till 1 so you can't either'. It's not that clear cut.
Did you get these things at about the same time as your peers? Or way after...?

TrillianAstra · 24/07/2011 20:43

"Because it was like that when I was growing up" is not a good reason for anything.

If that's your only reason for doing something then you probably shouldn't be doing it. If you should be doing it then there will be a better reason than "that's what my parents did".

missmiss · 24/07/2011 20:45

I had my ears pierced at 5 but would want to wait until the summer between years 6 and 7 for a future DD.

I got my own TV at 13. Wouldn't want my children to have one but would expect them to need a laptop for senior school, which covers DVDs, iplayer etc.

I got a mobile for my 15th birthday, but that was when they first became common. Again, I'd probably allow my DC one at the start of secondary school.

bonkers20 · 24/07/2011 20:51

My recommendations:

Ear piercing - age 10
Mobile phone - age 11 (or year 6, so they are used to it by the time they might actually REALLY need it...not just to txt pals or take pics)
TV in room - in our current house, never. There's no room unless he gets some flat screen jobby on the wall.

What I had:

Ear piercing - age 10. My sister was 12 and we went together as a surprise treat. It's one of the best memories of my childhood.
Mobile phone - 31!
TV in room - I shared a room with my sister until I was 13 and at times we had a tiny b/w portable. I got my own one when I was about 15 or 16. I had the same one for 10 years (uni, working abroad, moving in with my now DH).

cory · 24/07/2011 20:57

Mobiles and DVDs and home computers hadn't been invented when I was a youngster: she'd have to wait until her 40s before she rang her friends, watched a DVD or did her science homework (bet that would please the science teacher).

EdithWeston · 24/07/2011 21:07

Based on me: ears pierced at 15; telly in bedroom, 22; mobile phone, over 35 (guessing I'm older than many other posters!)

My best guess predictions for DD: ears at 15 (might let her think she's won a HUGE concession if I can be haggled down to 14); telly in bedroom - never under my roof; phone - when she starts going to school on her own, so 11ish. Same for DSs, of course - though they show no interest in piercings.

What I'm clueless about is tattoos. Presumably you have to prove you're 18 to get one (in UK), but how easy is it to get them done underage - or worse, on holiday?

Lizcat · 24/07/2011 21:11

There is such a range. I think I will stick by the 13 for the ears piercing as for me 13 is becoming a teenager and maybe being given a bit more responsability for ones self. The TV may never happen in my house as yes I got it at 27 and got rid of it at 29 and haven't got one back 10 years later. The mobile phone we will have to wait and see, her school is all the way to 18 and generally it seems to tie in with moving into the senior school at 11 so maybe then.
gillybean I never got things the sametime as my peers - video machines where the big thing when I was her age and my parents never ever got one and don't have a DVD player now. I have to say I was someone who didn't bother what peers had or did and had good friends who respected me for it.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 24/07/2011 21:12

For me:

Ears pierced @ 10y - told DD she has to wait til summer she finishes primary, so she'll be 11

Mobile @ 23y - seems unfair as only reason it was later wa because they weren't really available easily much before!

TV in own room @ 18y - when went to university, still stick by that for DD in her bedoom but will probably let her have one in her playroom before then

InFlames · 24/07/2011 21:48

Ears pierced at 10. Second hole in bedroom with needle at 11. Belly button pierced -and mobile - at 15. Now have 19 piercings... My mum has none. DS will prob rebel totally and be into opera and grey shoes :-)