To want my DC's at my wedding

[Jennytailia]

6 weeks until I get married (Eeeeeeeeek)

We are having a late(ish) wedding at 3pm which the children will take part in. I have 1 DSS 10yrs, 2 DS 8 and 6 yrs and 2 DD 4 and 2 yrs.

After the ceremonies we have a sitdown meal planned which I have arranged childcare for as I don't think they'll enjoy a 2 hr meal with speeches.

Then at 6pm we have an evening venue for a buffet and party, this is going to be for the DC's, mine as well as a few others. But MIL is looking after the boys for 3 days whilst we go on a short honeymoon. She has said she and FIL want to leave at 6:30 as they don't like to be out too late

But I really want my boys at the evening do, they are old enough to have a good time and my girls will be staying as my Dsis is taking care of them and she will stay. My Dsis has also said she will have the boys for that night so they can stay later.

When we mentioned this to the boys they insisted they wanted to stay at MIL and DP said I was being selfish trying to change things. So I asked him whether he would ask PIL to stay longer and he said they won't and it's up to them what time they leave.

I think they are being selfish and it's only one night that they have to stay out.

So AIBU wanting my DS's at the evening reception.

Maybe so, exotic, but this was a conversation that was needed at the childcare planning, surely? "PILs, we're so grateful that you're looking after our boys for us, we want them at the wedding itself, the reception and the party afterwards... all ok?"

I don't know if the IL's would mind the sister dropping off the boys the next day or whether the IL's would mind staying later, but I think it's out of order really for the expectation. It's a long day as it is, why do the boys need to be at the party, they don't even want to be there, they want to go with PIL's?

I see why you want them there, but to be honest if they're sure they don't want to stay I would let them go. Otherwise, when you see them looking tired/bored/acting up later on, you're going to have the same feeling of annoyance that they're not having as much fun as you think they should, or spoiling your day by looking mardy etc.

If they don't want to, I doubt you can make them enjoy it.

Is it a second marriage?

Just be flexible with 2 options.

Our boys were 3 & 6 when Dh and I got married, I left my wedding reception at 10pm as I didnt like to ask anyone to have them overnight.
Neither my parents, MIL, or my sister offered to have them either.
We didnt have a honeymoon either, still havent.

I think your lucky..