To tell my foreign students they can't have two packets of crisps in their lunch?

[EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions]

Well I said they could but that I wouldn't go shopping again before weds so if they run out they won't have any more...

two rolls with cheese and ham, a packet of crisps, piece of fruit, juice carton and a chocolate biscuit bar is plenty, surely? I already went shopping yesterday to buy extra biscuits as they didn't like the ones I had, and enough crisps to last til shopping day. This might be a petty one but I'm not sure what is fair, not having teenagers. If it's two packets today then it will be two packets every day til they leave...they have pocket money too if they get hungry during the day and eat all their lunch...

How is this? -

Dear Maria

I have a concern that I feel I need to put in writing to you. I have thought this over for a few days and I cannot leave it unsaid.

Last week on Saturday I was waiting to collect the children with two other hosts ? I don?t know their names but one was the woman with short blonde/pink hair and the other was the older man who drives a taxi. Out of the blue he said 'I couldn't believe it when I got a chocolate drop, I've never had one in the house before, told the wife we have a chocolate drop, she couldn't believe it'

I was a bit shocked and said 'sorry, what do you mean by chocolate drop?' the other host (younger woman) said 'black' and he said 'a coloured, a darkie, a sambo, a nignog, a wog'

I?m sorry to say I said nothing at this point because I was extremely shocked at this language and attitude, and I felt that it wouldn?t be helpful to have a confrontation with him as the bus was due to arrive. I am sure that you are aware of the serious and extremely offensive nature of this language. What is worse than the language is the fact that it shows a highly racist nature and attitude. I couldn?t help worrying about the child who had been placed with a family who hold racist views and feel that it is acceptable to describe her in this way.

It is not my place to advise you on any course of action, but as the parent of a mixed race child, this is a personal issue to me. If I discovered that my son had been placed with a family who described him as a ?nignog? or a ?wog? I would be considering legal action.

I really feel that I need to bring this to your attention in order that you can carry out your duty of care to the children in possession of all the facts.

Yours sincerely,

Eric

I think what you're offering is plenty and if they want more they shoudl buy it. Haven't read whole thread - it seems to have gone off at a tangent.

Great letter eric, though it puts everything on an official footing iyswim? I would be more inclined to speak to them directly before I put it in writing, as it is a serious charge which could lead to legal action. If this is what you have in mind by writing, then go ahead and send it. If not, speak to them directly first, see what they say - it may be that they will want you to put it in writing after your conversation.

However, in my experience, they don't have a "duty of care" [cynic alert]. Or, they do on paper but it is not necessarily implemented. As i said, it is not a regulated industry and * ime, anything goes tbh. As long as they get their money they don't care

*notwithstanding the excellent language schools on the south coast, of course, which seem to be kosher

I'd write too- good letter Eric.

I realise they don't seem to have a duty of care in any real sense which I find incredible - but they do morally and I'm sure they should do legally! I work with children in care and the amount of work that goes towards vetting and training foster carers...compared to this...now I know it's completely different role, risk and client group but I am shocked. I was reflecting that the woman never even asked me who lives in my household (I registered with a different agency who passed my name to this one) and that I have two 13 year old girls in my house - it's too awful to imagine the scenarios that could occur if a predatory paedophile decided to register as a host

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions i find it terrible that you were not asked about who is in your household.We have to fill in a form here detailing all sorts of things, wether we have dogs ,cats [ because of allergys ] do we smoke,would we accept vegetarians ,loads of different questions.Did you have to even have a house inspection ??

We also had a form to fill in. But it's never been updated. I get students asking to see our hamster which died four years ago!

I think we have thoroughly hijacked this thread. Should we start a new one for 'language students'? We can rant, share advice, share the joys, etc. to our hearts' content then!

Not read your whole thread but jumped to the last page (I always do this and saw your letter.
I used to be the accommodation officer for host families at a language school. If I recieved a letter like that I would just quietly stop offering them any host children. And I would speak to the student and ask how he's getting on with hgis famil. Tell him thjeres another family closer to the school just popped up (or some such excuse) and offer to re-house. If he was happy with his current family and of an age where he knows his own mind Id leave him be but monitor it.
Your letter sounds just fine and you are right to send it. Most appalling.

mummylin I did get that from the agency I registered with - but this is a different agency who got my details from the first one (who never gave me any students) and the woman was really manic in the run up to the students arriving.

Thanks cottonreels, that's good to know. They leave on thursday morning and I'm going to give it to her tonight so unlikely to move her, but the woman should know.

Yes to a language student thread, please!

My house was inspected but that was before there was furniture in the student room - it's very different now but no-ones come to look. I guess unless a student complains, they won't come to inspect again.

I have to be a registered foster carer (not a proper one, one for 'sofa surfers' apparently) with the borough as I take students under 16 for more than a month at a time. They visited me in April and have only just taken up references to check I am suitable My student leaves next week!

I do think that in the run up to summer when there is a vast influx of students ,the schools get deperate to find families for them all.I usually get my first letter in january to say when the first students will arrive,usually in march.maybe we should speak about the laughs we have had with some of them whilst they have been here.Some of them are very serious ,but a lot we have had such a lot of fun with.And we always seem to get one who has a birthday whilst they are here !! We will normally just go and get them a little birthday cake from asda or somewhere and a card.They seem to appreciate it,even though its not a lot. grockle cross another day off !!!EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions
Back to the serious stuff ,i do think the agency should be made aware of the horrible things that you overheard,and i hope that the student is not going to go home to their own country with unhappy memories.

" ...it's too awful to imagine the scenarios that could occur if a predatory paedophile decided to register as a host"

Quite . Also, and I hate to say this, a predatory paedophile student - please be careful with your girls! I had to stop taking girls because I have a very handsome son. I started taking in foreign students when he was 15 and a lot of them (aged 21+) thought nothing of totally flinging themselves at him - I mean, blatantly eg low-cut tops (one down to her waist, no bra). It was most enjoyable distracting for the poor boy. A lot of the older male students also seem to think they can charm their way to "added extras" from me. I am single and they seem to think I could do with a bit of warming up. It's been a bit whoar at times but I have always been a good girl. Bloody gorgeous some of them, mind

The language schools I use made the first visit and I think I remember filling out a questionnaire (not sure) but since then (about 5 years ago) no-one has updated my details or revisited. They did not ask who would be visiting the house. It is horrifying to think of what some students may be walking into - the parents pay a fortune for the course and expect the schools to honour their lavish promises of what to expect from hosts. The truth is that the language schools take moreorless anybody, treat the hosts like shit, don't give a shit about the students as long as they've got their money. They do nothing for the 50% plus commmission they take per week per student.

I realise I am very cynical - experiemce, I'm afraid. However, you really do get some lovely people staying and make lifelong friends plus somewhere to stay all over the world should you choose.

I seem to have become the strikethrough queen on this thread. Yes, I'd like a foreign student thread too. I've got 3 here at the mo and one is great fun, hilarious (spanish), one is a cow and one is studious (parisian) - which is great because the parisian students are often a nightmare.

We have just come to the aid of a dear little Japanese girl,i was out by my front gate when she came and told me she was lost ! She showed me her phone and the address she lived in was in there , so my dh just dropped her off there .We think she simply got off at the wrong bus stop.she was only 2 minutes away from where she should of been ,she looked terrified and when dh dropped her at her home she asked him how much it was !! maybe she thought he was a taxi

I have recently been tempted to charge the students 20p for the answers to the questionnaire about the town that they wander about with every Monday morning. I reckon that might be easier money than actually putting them up :o

I've started a new thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1267587--to-want-to-know-your-experiences-of-language-students

Now please don't embarrass me by not responding to it

I've just discovered that the organiser has an arabic surname, though I think she's european. So her kids (one of whom works with her in the company) must be mixed race. Wonder whether that will affect her response.

"dh dropped her at her home "

what are we always telling out kids about getting into the car (was it a car or did they walk - ok, going with) of a strange man????

She should've had the phone number of her host on her phone - it is certainly one of the first things I do with my students - to call her host to come and rescue her.

No there was no phone number that she showed me ,what were we meant to do ,just leave her to find her own way back ? i would not of waved down any old car and asked them to take her home ,it was my dh for gods sake .

There is no way (for gods sake) I would have put a stranger in my husband's car! No way on earth. I happen to be decent, as I'm sure you and your husband you, but not everyone is. I would have gone with her - or got the number of her language school, to contact her host, to get her host to come and get her.

well we will have to differ about what you and I would do / did.She was literally 2 mins away.My dh often gives a lift home to any of our students friends that have been visiting here ,Is that wrong too ?