To tell my foreign students they can't have two packets of crisps in their lunch?

[EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions]

Well I said they could but that I wouldn't go shopping again before weds so if they run out they won't have any more...

two rolls with cheese and ham, a packet of crisps, piece of fruit, juice carton and a chocolate biscuit bar is plenty, surely? I already went shopping yesterday to buy extra biscuits as they didn't like the ones I had, and enough crisps to last til shopping day. This might be a petty one but I'm not sure what is fair, not having teenagers. If it's two packets today then it will be two packets every day til they leave...they have pocket money too if they get hungry during the day and eat all their lunch...

i own a language school (we have 6 centres along the South Coast). We charge a £10 arrangement fee for booking a host family and pass on the full weekly fees the students pay, to the family (£115 per week depending on the location). We understand that hosting is hard work and you definitely need to know how to budget well to make money out of it, but you can. Out of interest, what level of profit is considered obscene?

That lunch wouldn't be enough to fill my DS up. Especially if the rolls are white bread baps.

LineRunner, I agree.

'They need massive sandwiches. Massive. Like 'Scooby Snacks'. Also a tub of pasta salad is nice cold, very filling and cheap (pasta, mayo and tuna is great). And a banana and grapes.

The crisps thing is typical. I buy enough for my teenagers's lunches and suddenly they're gone. So at the end of the end of the week they don't get any. They get extra fruit or crackers!'

Just to add, what you describe you put in their lunch sounds more than adequate. Don't go buying them any more! As you say if they want extra snacks they can buy them themselves.

I give my students what I am told to: sandwich, crisps, biscuit, fruit + drink. Its not what DS has in his lunchbox! I have a lovely student atm who helps me bake so she takes homemade cookies etc too. She does say they go to burger king etc so they seem to supplement their packed lunch which is fine. I wouldn't give her 2 packets of crisps.

My other student doesn't talk to me so I don't know what she does.

Oh, I have them year round: 10 yr old Chinese students. I have no idea how people send their 10th DS to the other side of the world for 6months but it works well for me. They are gone by 7.45 in the morning and back at 5.45 then out 10-5 on Saturday's, sometimes longer and home on Sunday but studying all day. I never see my long-term student

Hi mummylin-tis mamama. Haven't seen you for ages. Is your DD still down the road from me?

Green I think the language school I work with also has a very low 'mark up' on accommodation. I guess they make their profit from the language teaching rather than the hosts. I certainly don't feel underpaid, or that the language school is unfairly benefitting. Why shouldn't the school make something out of it, too?

My only bugbears are:

I get paid at the end of the students' stay. If I'm on my first students of the year and I have to feed two teenage boys for a month before getting the money it can be a huge struggle. My wages from my job are barely adequate to meet my bills, so adding about £50-70 to my weekly food bill can push me over the edge!

There is no commitment from the school. All the commitment is on the side of the host family. For example, some of the so-called 'long-stay' students have been booked in for 3 or 6 months, but within a couple of days of arriving decide they will rent a room independenty with a new 'friend' they met at the school, thinking it will save them money. This is understandable if they're on a budget and think it will save them money, although I doubt it would unless they lived on Pot Noodles. But having turned away other potential paying guests because I've got this 3 or 6 month booking (I'm also on the theatre digs list) it leaves me without the income I thought I was going to get. For someone on a tight budget this can be a nightmare.

"We charge a £10 arrangement fee for booking a host family and pass on the full weekly fees the students pay, to the family"

shame I don't live on the south coast then Green - your school sounds fab. the language schools our way are crooks. they take £200pw from the students and give hosts £100. They treat hosts like shit if there are any problems - actually, treat hosts like shit full stop. The industry is not regulated - i have hosted minors and there are no CRBs etc in place. I dread to think what could happen to some students and probably does

Agreed Woolly, we pay fortnightly but have on occasion given the host money up front to get the food in and then deducted it from their first pay period.

Also agreed re commitment. I try and persuade my long stayers to only book a family for 4 weeks then if they want to stay longer with the family they can if the family has room / wants them, but it also gives the host the opportunity to take others.

Springy you are right the sector is unregulated but there is a regulatory body (British Council) that a good school should be accredited by and should then abide by their codes of practices. CRBs are too difficult and costly to implement, especially when students book at such short notice but we have a strict Welfare Officer in each location who visits and checks all families regularly.

Am getting some good feedback from this! (sorry for the hijack op!)

I've never been visited by a welfare officer and the room was only inspected once about four years ago when I first began doing this. At the time, it hadn't even been furnished...

I do have concerns about some of the accommodation I have seen and heard about. It's really the luck of the draw for the students - some will live with a friendly and laid-back family who will feed them good quality food and provide them with a clean, well-furnished room, and others... There's a 'host' I've heard about from many students whose friends have stayed at her house. 'Her' students get turfed out of the house at 8 a.m. even though classes don't start until 9.30, they have a 7 p.m. curfew, are not allowed to use communal areas of the house, are given a narrow 'window' in which they are allowed to take showers, and are fed exclusively on baked potatoes, with cheese on them one night and baked beans the next... She is always full though. The sister of one of my students stayed with her and used to turn up on my doorstep at 8.05 every morning to hang out with her sister before leaving for school half an hour later. The stories she told... Do the students have an opportunity to give feedback to the school on their accommodation? I get the impression, especially in the summer months, that the school will use anyone that's willing to have students!

Sorry, too, OP, for the hijack, but hope you're finding some of this useful!

Yes, some schools will definitely take anyone and don't have the required checks in place. It is worrying. Schools get desperate in the summer as there aren't enough hosts. However requiring by law all language schools to get crb checks for hosts would put a lot of us out of business. The best thing is to only use schools that are british council accredited.

Some stuff is very subjective also - we often get complaints that students don't like the food they're being given (when other students have loved it), are annoyed that the hosts expects them in by 9.00pm etc.. etc.. they don't want to be more than 5 mins WALK from the school, its a bit of a nightmare. We also get complaints from hosts about other hosts! - it all gets very competitive.

Woolly the host you describe sounds like a classic "pretending to be a host but is actually running a bed and breakfast very badly" (and exploiting the age of the kids so they can't/don't complain) - very poor.

With our junior students we are acting in loco parentis and their safety is of paramount importance therefore we visit the family every season and make sure we get feedback from the students throughout their stay and from the hosts.

I have also had nightmare students who have behaved terribly to hosts - trick is to move them as soon as possible (sometimes into bed and breakfast, if its an over 18). its all fun fun fun in the world of language schools.

We have our homes etc inspected every two years ,but i do know that some of the host families do not provide the proper care.In this instance the students can be asked to be moved to another family ,we have heard some awful things from some of the students we have had ,like one family charging thier student for electricity to charge their phone and things like that ,another family did not even tell the student her childrens names ,these are just a couple of instances.I think if you treat the students as you would like your own children treated you cant go far wrong.Basically dont treat them as lodgers but as part of your family.The money is only about £10.50 per night for the early part of the year and the latter,but it rises for the summer months.I cant quite rememebr now but i have a feeling that when we signed up with this school we agreed that they could check us out with the police.Most schools are desperate for host familys in height of the summer,in fact one school here last year offered double money ! They did phone me but i declined because i was already booked for the times they wanted.It can be a great experience [ not always ] and as i said we are in touch with a lot of our ex students ,even from 10yrs ago ! Grockle yes she is ! are you still around that area.may be over there today at some time.Nice to see you and hope Ds is doing ok .

Right well I need your advice on a non diet related host family issue. Yesterday I was waiting with two other hosts for pick up. Was chatting to one guy, probably 60s, who is enamoured of my DS, has chatted about his DGD who is the same age. Then he said 'I couldn't believe it when I got a chocolate drop, I've never had one in the house before, told the wife we have a chocolate drop, she couldn't believe it'

I was a bit like this >>> and said 'sorry, what do you mean by chocolate drop?' the other host (younger woman) said 'black' and he looked at me like and said 'a coloured, a darkie, a sambo, a nignog, a wog'

I'm a bit ashamed to say I just went silent and ignored him for a few minutes while I collected myself, he started to chat about how she had been ok and he had teased her about her boyfriend. I just didn't know what to say, that sort of language is so alien to me and it's also quite personal as my son is a 'chocolate drop' although he looks white...

What do I do? I can't stop thinking about the horrible words and that poor girl placed with a racist, I don't know whether the organiser will think I'm mad if I tell her, and at the end of the day she may think that as long as they are fed and happy it's not a problem - but I'd hope she'd take it seriously. I know their students are leaving when mine do and they don't have any in August. I think if I say something I could really make things awkward for me if I have any students in the future, but then I don't feel I have a choice. I'm still realLy shaken by it.

That is disgusting ,you could ring the school with your concerns ,but im sure if the family dont treat her well she will be complaining about it and may very well be moved to another family.I can see no reason why the school should stop you having students in the future.In fact you are only concerned about one of their students which is very good of you .Nasty people ! Just give them a ring and im sure they will have a word with the student discreetly to see if she is ok.

Thing is, it's not a school, it's an organisation who locates host families for a variety of schools and foreign organisations. I don't even know where these kids go for their classes. So it would have to be the manager of the company, who is a bit mad and overworked. But I think if I want until these students have gone she may be less stressed. She has been doing three people's jobs for the past month.

I have never heard of a nignog, a sambo or Chocolate drop before either, that Man must be living in 1950! I would say something!

My mum used to have language students, and we ended up with 2 together once after a coloured boy was "rejected" by his "hosts" as they "had no idea you got Black French Boys!"

The poor lad was so upset, he just couldn't understand what he had dome wrong, but lucily my Dad ran a boys club & just took them both out canoeing with all his Boys club on the first night, and we all got along really well.

how long has this particular student been in the UK and how long until she goes home ,if its near the end of the say and she has been with this family for a couple of weeks then it could be that they have treated her nicely.If not then i would think she herself would tell someone. Do your students know her ? if they do then maybe they could ask her if she is happy in her host family.

They are all going home on thursday, have been here a week. I'm sure he is treating her fine, he seems like the stupid kind of racist rather than the vicious kind - but you know, if I had entrusted my child to a strange family for two weeks and they were the kind of people who would describe him as a nignog...well. If I had an inkling of it the organisation would be sued to fuck. And more than that, it's just not appropriate. If it were my company I'd tell the racist to piss off, but I know they are short of hosts so I doubt they will. Still, at least if they don't place any more black children with them that would be something. It really does break my heart actually, as you say Milliways they are just children and don't understand, why should a child have to live with a man who thinks she's defective :(

I'm really shocked at that, Eric. And unfortunately, mummylin, I'm not sure the students would complain if they're not treated well. My 14yo DD has a gob on her like anything, but outside the house is a different story - she would be very, very unlikely to complain about anything like this to an adult and I think it would be a rare (and very confident) child that would. If I were you, Eric, I'd have a word with the organisation that allocates the students to their hosts.

Wooly I earn alot but make sure I don't go over the tax limit meaning I only have students a few months a year would rather have 3 at once then none for a while . Its a little sideline for me while I'm sahm its fun for my DDS to have "big girls" around. Some students get tearful when they go home so must be doing something right! Did have to throw some out for smoking in the room after being told not too but most are sweet.

well they certainly do complain at the school my students attend and i have found this to be the case for as long as i have had students which is now over 20yrs ! I am not saying it happens a lot but usually there maybe just one out of each new batch that arrives ,sometimes there are three coachloads and out of all of those there is usually one that is not happy for whatever reason.I think they complain directly to the school ,not the family they are staying with. If its a genuine grievance then the school managers will remove them from the family. They wont just move them if say the student wanted to stay out later than their curfew times.

OMG, Eric No advice but I'd probably call the agency.

Our students complain - my current long-term one came tomne because she was unhappy with her existing host family. Although, having had her here for 5 months and never seen her smile, I suspect she's not happy anywhere. Especially since I constantly have to nag her to change her clothes (2 pairs of knickers all week and same outfit for 3-4 days, and not ruin yet another set of sheets by leaving the lid of her pen. Grrrr. She's not complained about me yet. They do an evaluation at the end of their stay though so I will be intrigued to see what she says.

Mummylin, Yes, I'm still round there - right by the school. We're all doing well Hope your DD & DG's are too.

Grockle i will catch up with you on messenger later.

" I'm not sure the students would complain if they're not treated well"

are you kidding?? they complain about everything. entitlement akimbo. A lot of them behave like lords and ladies and treat the hosts like servants.

oh gosh, am I bitter weary or what

Mind you, a lot of them are lovely - real sweethearts.

oh gosh eric, I've just read your post . I have never ever heard anything like this before from any host.

that is deeply shocking. I was going to say that it's an age thing but at 60-odd that's hardly old.

I would definitely mention this to the school. You know the policy with our own kids re if we see any maltreatment of whatever kind it is our duty to report it to protect the child.

this is what I mean about the industry not being regulated - this wouldn't be tolerated with british kids but somehow because they are foreigners, anything goes.