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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with my friend's dh

82 replies

emkana · 22/07/2011 22:44

my friend and I are due to go to the take that concert on Monday. She has a very small baby who is exclusively breastfed and doesn't take a bottle, so the plan was that her dh and the baby would come with us and wait in the car, so that she could feed just before we go in. I was fine with that. Now today friend's dh phones me - as a surprise for her birthday, which is tomorrow, he will take her for a day's shopping on Monday before the concert. As it wouldn't make sense driving wise to come back to their home between shopping and the concert, could I just meet them at the arena please? The arena is nearly an hour away from where we live. I had thought we would go up together. Now I will have to travel on my own. Aibu to think this is quite inconsiderate?

OP posts:
harecare · 22/07/2011 23:45

Emkana, you're still going to the concert with her aren't you? Her DH is just waiting outside with the baby. You're lucky he's willing to do that or she wouldn't be able to go at all. Don't let on to your friend that your miffed about the shopping. Be happy for her. What a lovely treat. You'll still get time with her.

ThatVikRinA22 · 22/07/2011 23:47

does your friend have a voice? surely she can say if thats not what she wants to do?

its up to her. her DH sounds like a star - i cant think of anything worse than being stuck in a car with a potentially crying baby while the other half goes and flings knickers at robbie williams et al....

YABU.

snippywoo2 · 22/07/2011 23:51

Her birthday is tomorrow, the concert on Monday.

This is the first time in ten years that my friend and I are doing something like this together .

I can see your point why does he need to take her out on your day with her why not do it on her birthday

Nanny0gg · 22/07/2011 23:52

I can see why you're miffed OP.
I would be too.

snippywoo2 · 22/07/2011 23:53

You're lucky he's willing to do that or she wouldn't be able to go at all.
why is she 'lucky' its his baby as well.

Original poster
emkana · 22/07/2011 23:54

My friend doesn't know about it yet, he will surprise her with the plan on her birthday tomorrow. I think it's a great idea to take her shopping and I'm reallybhappy for her, but why does it have to be on that day?? An before you ask, it's not to do with working or childcare.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 22/07/2011 23:57

So are you saying you reckon he's doing it on purpose so she's not able to spend more time with you?

worraliberty · 22/07/2011 23:57

She is 'lucky' because as much as it's his baby as well, he can't feed it can he?

I wouldn't fancy being stuck in a car for that amount of time with a baby I can't feed and may potentially spend hours crying for a top up feed...my baby or not.

GreenEyesandHam · 22/07/2011 23:58

Because it keeps the upset to the BF routine to one day perhaps?

I think you have to trust his judgement on this, he knows his wife and their routine better than you do after all. He really isn't making that much difference to your plans, other than where you meet

Original poster
emkana · 23/07/2011 00:00

Something like that zigzag. He just always needs to meddle with things.

OP posts:
snippywoo2 · 23/07/2011 00:00

seems to me like he hadn't actually got anything planned for her birthday and is trying to upstage you with a day out shopping on the same day your going out with her, sounds like an arse to me trying to top what your doing together.

AgentZigzag · 23/07/2011 00:03

What kind of other things does he do?

worraliberty · 23/07/2011 00:03

Oh for goodness sake how is making a day of it while they've got their kids looked after 'upstaging'?

It makes perfect sense to me.

snippywoo2 · 23/07/2011 00:05

she could express milk that way he wouldnt have to sit in the car being the poor put up on husband that decides to treat his wife to a days shopping the same day his wife goes out with a mate she hasnt been out with for ten years

GreenEyesandHam · 23/07/2011 00:06

The OP states the baby won't take a bottle

Nanny0gg · 23/07/2011 00:07

The OP rarely sees her friend.
They had something special planned together and now the husband has planned something (as a surprise) which will mean that the OP will spend less time on this one day with her friend. The only day she's seeing her.
Why are people surprised she's a bit upset?

GreenEyesandHam · 23/07/2011 00:09

Nanny because the ' special event' for the two friends hasnt changed one iota? Only the travel arrangements.

snippywoo2 · 23/07/2011 00:11

it will if you put a nipple teet on

GreenEyesandHam · 23/07/2011 00:13

Snippy don't yell me Grin tell the OP, to tell her mate

GreenEyesandHam · 23/07/2011 00:14

Yell = tell obviously.

worraliberty · 23/07/2011 00:15

it will if you put a nipple teet on

And you know that for a fact do you snippy?

snippywoo2 · 23/07/2011 00:16

its not just about the event its about the whole journey, travelling together having the time to chat catching up etc having a laugh and reconnecting as friends.

Eurostar · 23/07/2011 00:16

Seriously - would anyone here really have wanted to do a day's shopping while you're looking after a small, exclusively BF baby and two older DC, then be out all evening at a stand up concert? Sounds utterly exhausting and a bit of a typical misguided bloke present.

Or worse, is DH pulling a clever one here in that you have your car there so he can get off as soon as baby is fed and you are responsible for drive home?

GreenEyesandHam · 23/07/2011 00:17

In all honesty, I'd have loved the shopping, hated the concert.

snippywoo2 · 23/07/2011 00:21

worralibertySat 23-Jul-11 00:15:42
it will if you put a nipple teet on
And you know that for a fact do you snippy?

So your telling me if she couldnt for whatever reason any longer breastfeed the child would starve? I dont think so.