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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is he re gifts for teachers.

61 replies

york78 · 21/07/2011 17:42

Dh came home last night as me and the dc were wrapping gifts for their teachers. DH said what are you giving them presents for? I don't get presents in my occupation etc. I think he is being miserable. Or does he have a point?

OP posts:
Sandalwood · 21/07/2011 17:43

What's his job?

MrsKravitz · 21/07/2011 17:44

Lady in tesco said the same to me when I mentioned the voucher I bought was for a teacher

MindtheGappp · 21/07/2011 17:44

He has a point (and I am a teacher).

But there is great joy in giving, so go ahead if that's what you want.

bubblesincoffee · 21/07/2011 17:46

He's being miserable, but he does have a point!

It is a bit silly that so many of us feel pressured into doing gifts for teachers, but at the same time, it's a nice thing to do for the people that care for and educate our children.

Teaching is vocational as well as proffessional, and most teachers do give a bit of themselves away to their class. I genuinely want to show my appreciation for that, and my children simply enjoy going in with something nice to give their teachers.

I am spending tonight baking and wrapping cookies and the dc have just finished doing their thankyous. This is the bit that's not quite so fun!

lazylula · 21/07/2011 17:47

I suppose he does have a point but then the same could be said about tipping waitresses or the taxi driver ect. I gave presents to show my appreciation of the work they had done with ds1, he has come on so well since starting school.

AuntiePickleBottom · 21/07/2011 17:48

your husband does have a point, do you get gift for the bin men, postman, supermarket staff ect.

i think it is nice though to say thank-you to the teacher

soverylucky · 21/07/2011 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 21/07/2011 17:49

10 YO DD1 has never given anything to her teachers before, but the ones she had this year have been really outstanding and brought out the best in her.

She's bought them a little box of chocs each and a card out of her pocket money.

I agree a little bit with your DH in that I don't think they should be given as a matter of course, but if they're above average teachers it's nice for the DC to give them a little something.

Original poster
york78 · 21/07/2011 17:49

Works in an office!

OP posts:
JamieAgain · 21/07/2011 17:50

I think that if you really want to give a gift then it will be gratefully received. That said, a heartfelt card or letter, or a big thanks is just as (more) meaningful. And if you don't give anything, no-one's in the staff room doing a tally.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 21/07/2011 17:50

but I bet your husband doesn't blink an eye at giving the postman or the milkman etc a fiver/tenner at christmas?

it's the same thing, imo.

MrsKravitz · 21/07/2011 17:50

The playground was awash with children bearing gift bags on the last day at ds' school

Original poster
york78 · 21/07/2011 17:51

He doesn't do that either.

OP posts:
JamieAgain · 21/07/2011 17:52

I think that when you do a very public-facing job, then being thanked by the people you help is really nice.

In an office, it's being thanked and appreciated by your boss is important

JamieAgain · 21/07/2011 17:53

x posted. Oh dear. He's a bit of a scrooge then

Sandalwood · 21/07/2011 17:53

Bin men, postmen I do tip at xmas.
The teacher thing is as much for my DD as it is for the teacher.I wasn't going to bother for her teacher this year, as she has the same teacher again for another year. But DD has just gone and made a 'thankyou for a lovely year' card off her own back. It seems to make her feel good that she has a nice teacher who she is giving something back to.
Children perhaps don't have the same gumption as us adults to say 'thanks for everything - you've really helped me this year, I've learned a lot' to their teacher. A little gift is a way they can.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 21/07/2011 17:53

oh :(

very odd.
whenever I've worked in an office, we've got presents from the management for reachign targets, or gaining new customers, or just being fab.
when I worked doing magazine subscriptions, everyone in the office got 3 Dr Hessayon gardening books and a wok as a general thanks.

he'll get money bonuses every now and then, too, surely!

PonceyMcPonce · 21/07/2011 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Popbiscuit · 21/07/2011 17:55

...and nobody wants their child to be the only one that doesn't have a gift for the teacher on the last day.

Sandalwood · 21/07/2011 17:55

Does he not get bonuses at christmas or anything? An office party/meal paid for? Little pressie from any clients?

nothingoldcanstay · 21/07/2011 17:56

Don't tip anyone professional. Happy to tip service industry and those who jobs are especially hard during the winter.

AuntiePickleBottom · 21/07/2011 18:00

as an NHS worker, i do not get any bonuses, party or meal ect from my boss......... it wouldn't look good if tax payers paid for this.

I have never had a thank-you card or gift from patients as i am not on the same ward every day due to working parenting hours i am contracted to cover hoildays and sickness.

AgentZigzag · 21/07/2011 18:02

'...and nobody wants their child to be the only one that doesn't have a gift for the teacher on the last day.'

I didn't mind and DD said she wasn't fussed either, I'm not shelling out shed loads when I can see a lot of the other mums in competative present buying, I find that far more embarrassing.

nothingoldcanstay · 21/07/2011 18:03

IMO it's also become meaningless. Parents think they are expected to bring a gift rather than as a special thank you for a teacher that has actually done something specifically for your child.
Sure this is another commericalised American import BTW.

AuntiePickleBottom · 21/07/2011 18:05

JamieAgain why does that make him a scrooge...he has already paid for his meal or paid his council tax for the bins to be empty ect.