to tell nursery that I don't want dd to sing "grace"

[Faggotsnpeas]

At the moment my dd doesn't have lunch at nursery, but will when she goes back in September for once a week, then twice after xmas. I was not aware that the children sang "grace" prior to having their lunch, until I heard them this lunch time when I picked up dd. It is not a religious nursery, they have children of different cultures, and we are not a religious family. Never had dd christened and wont have our ds christened, who is due oct.
I heard the children singing a line "thank you god for the food we eat". So AIBU in saying to the nursery that I do want dd to have to sing "grace" as she always thanks us for meals she is given, and as we are providing her with the lunch she will be having at the nursery, that should be enough.

Appreciate your views on this matter.

YANBU.

This would bother me. Sending Christmas cards etc can be non-religious (christmas as cultural reference rather than religious) so can grace.

The only mitigating circumstances would be if they alternated the types of Grace ie something from other cultures/religion as a way of enhancing kids' experiences.

Anyway, I would mention it in terms of it not being mentioned that there was a religious element to the day and you're surprised that you're consent wasn't sought.

I think YABU. What harm can it do? It's just a cultural thing, it needn't be religious.

At primary school we had to sing lots of religious mumbo jumbo, I rather enjoyed learning the songs and the stories but never really believed.

And in any case, if your daughter wants to be religious, surely that;s her choice (even at 3 years old), not yours. She can be exposed to religion make her own mind up.

Wabbit surely using the word blessing is a reference to god?

Have any of the other parents complained? I think if you asked them most would think it was a little odd to worry about what is just a polite little song by children.

You only have a few of choices really.

1. Canvass other parents if the majority view is that its wrong then approach the nursery. Unlikely.

1. Ask they nursery to remove your child while they sing their song, I don't think that's fair on your daughter.

1. Move nursery but if she is happy there and has friends, that would appear to be a little extreme.

Haven't had a chance to read the whole thread (sorry!) but my DD goes to a nursery that does this in spite of having kids from various cultural backgrounds and nationalities. DD is 3 and just thinks it's a nice song they sing before meals "but we don't sing it at home" (her words). We haven't had her Christened and won't.

I'm not at all religious, wasn't Christened, went to C of E schools where we sang hymns (they were just nice songs to me) then on to Oxbridge where grace was said before meals. I read the Bible as a small child because I liked the stories.

It hasn't made me religious in the slightest. I wouldn't worry about it. It's just part of her cultural education.

I think YABU. If you ask your daughter to be exempt from this, she will feel different from the other children. The staff on duty will have to remember that she's not allowed to say grace, and will have to make special arrangements. They will think you're being petty and a bit of a pain.

My family are all die-hard atheists, although I probably hedge my bets and call myself agnostic. DS1 is at a church school, he's constantly spouting religious stuff from school, but then he says "God doesn't really exist does he" - so he's not being brainwashed, he's just learning what some people believe. When he's old enough he'll be able to balance his christian schooling and his agnostic home life, and decide for himself which he believes.

I think grace before meals is just part of life in some nurseries/schools, and you have to accept it in the same way you accept the rules about where they hang their coats and so on. I think it's good for kids to learn that things are done differently in different places, not everywhere is like home.

There are suggestions that the OP changes nurseries. What if there isn't another one nearby?
Why shouldn't a nursery be open to change "what it has always done"? If that's the reason for doing something, it's clear that nobody has actually thought about what they're doing and why. References to gods are totally unnecessary and should be kept at home if people want them.

tawrag You have to make choices for your children when you are a parent.

If the other parents, as seem likely, aren't bothered by a little song before their meal, then this parent can't change the nurseries practices just because she doesn't like them.

She has a choice tell them to remove her child for the song, which would be making the child feel different to her friends, it would also have staffing implications as one worker would have to be there just for the child for the period of the grace song. They would be in their rights to refuse IMO.

Or remove the child.

Shanghai - sadly there are no non-denominational schools in England. Every single state school is required by law to have a daily act of religious worship of a broadly Christian character. Of course most heads very sensibly try and minimise this as much as possible and end up with a weekly airy-fairy, touchy-feely type get together. But they shouldn't have to jump through hoops like that at all, I agree.

YABU their nursery their rules - if you don't like it find another one. Besides your dd being the only one not saying Grace will make her feel bad

Well, durrr... but it's not got GOD in it has it?

Any kind of thanks suggests a gratitude to something ??? Or you end up with some wishy washy mush like 'I am grateful for my good fortune to have food on my plate' (egocentric shite) were there to be no suggestion of 'Other'.

Still think grace is a lovely custom and enhances the tone of a mealtime.

Sparkle - that might be something to do with our Queen being the HEAD OF THE CHURCH in England.... we do not live in a secular country.

I think that you have the terms wrong. There are lots of non denominational schools in England-there are no secular schools in England. Non denominational means not connected to any particular church, but broadly Christian. England is a Christian country and it won't change until you get disestablishmentarianism.