to be fucked off and totally had enough of dps parents sponging off him?

[griffalo2]

He is paying their mortgage for them for over 2 years after his dad lost his job,both his mum and dad are now in full time work.they have paid for 2 holidays this year,all new stuff for house including £50 fuckin toaster,his dad is in pub everynight and all weekend,now his mum saying she buying new car.
He is still living at home,were engaged but no chance of getting married cause lack of money,he keeps mentioning he wants a baby and to live together.but he just won't tell them.ive had enough of biting my tongue not to offend him but hes being made a fool of by his own parents.
Should I be putting up with this?
They also 'lend' money off him for petrol or his dads smoking and drinking

How old are you both? Only it doesn't sound as if he's ready to commit to you.

On no account have any children with this man until he's demonstrated more capacity to support you + baby than he is right now.

If your boyfriend/partner is enabling his parents financially, no-one wants to change the status quo and you are involved in it, it is time to move on.

Unless you want to be bled dry financially.

Why exactly are you with this man? There is always a reason/collusion, ask yourself why....

Personally, I wouldn't stand for it.

he keeps mentioning he wants a baby and to live together

this may sound a bit wacky and slightly bizarre, but how about getting married first

I would back out now. This guy is the unusual species of cocklodger-by-proxy. He shags you but his family gets subsidised. Not good.

Yep. What squeaky said. Insist on marriage before you let him impregnate you. At least that sets some kind of bar.

If he can't afford to marry you, he certainly won't be much financial help when your babies arrive

if he isn't mature enough to take control of his own life, keep track of his own money and pay his own bills and stand up to his parents for what he wants rather than keeping quiet for an easy life then he's too immature to be living with anyone except his mum and dad and definitely too young to be having a child.

Tell him to ring you when he's sorted himself out and move on. I wouldn't wait for that call personally but you never know.

We got engaged and planned to move in together before his dad lost his job,he then felt bad for abandoning them and the family home in time of need.
Hes paying 520 on mortgage,water rates,council tax,tv licence and sky,plus food for himself.
We have sat down and talked about it,they always come back with bottomless excuses.
One was his dad would pay him money back every month,another was they move out and buy somewhere smaller,so I could move in.im pulling my hair out.
Think im just going to tell him,its stops now or do one

Sit down with a sheet of paper and tell them that he would be better off in his own place.

Why the fuck do they have Sky tell him to cancel it.

Don't buy a TV licence.

Don't pay the fucking rates or council tax whose name are these bills in?

If theres why the fuck is he paying them? the guy is an idiot.

Thats not really a lot. But thats what he has chosen to do, you need to wake up to reality.

One was his dad would pay him money back every month,another was they move out and buy somewhere smaller,so I could move in

Whose house is it???

How do they buy somewhere else if they cant afford the one they are in?

If they are both working full time, why are they not paying their own mortgage?

None of it actually makes sense, and I reckon your bloke is just telling you a load of bollocks to be honest.

Where do you live? £520 for all of that sounds like a bargain!!

I think you're right Griffilo2, it's time to tell him to shit or get off the pot. He doesn't have to live with his parents regardless of their employment status. It really does sound as though he is using them as a reason not to commit.

Then I take back my YABU.

He literally is paying as much as funding his own place with you, isn't he?

Ditch this man if he doesn't sharpen up and act like an adult.

How can he contribute towards building a future with you when he is financially tied to supporting the majority of their bills? It can't be done - literally isn't enough money to go around with that sort of outgoing on his parents' household bills, unless he's on a whopping great wage.

I wouldn't even consider moving into their old house whilst they moved somewhere smaller.

You need to divide your family unit's financial ties to that household, not cement it further. Because that's what getting married, having children is about - creating YOUR family unit, with YOUR financial security.

Until he stops what he's doing, there is no possible future for you with this man.

Whether you're prepared to hang around and wait for him to possibly change this situation is up to you. Because there isn't any incentive for his parents to ever change it - if anything, their incentive is to tie the apron strings tighter, when you think about it.

I definitely have no plans of getting pregnant im already bringing up ds totally alone,learnt my lesson.
I left home at 17 and stood on my own two feet,forced to mature quickly.
He defo needs to wake up

Wait up - I read the OP's post as this:

"Hes paying 520 on mortgage,water rates,council tax,tv licence and sky,plus food for himself."

as in... £520 plus water rates,council tax,tv licence and sky,plus food, ... so much more than £520 in total. Was I wrong to read it like that?

So tell him he either moves out with you or you are done.

ATM it is none of your business what he does with his money.

Don't get involved with someone who isn't properly grown up.

And don't lend him anything or bail him out, he chooses to do what he wants with his money, your money is your's and your sons.

Sorry 520 is just mortgage

I think its just emotional blackmail

Hmm, I read it as £520 for the lot. If it's mortgage only and the other stuff is on top, that's obviously not such a good deal.

X post again!

OP have you asked him why he won't just move out?

Do you mean Munchausen's cocklodger-by-proxy BitOfFun?

Yes, that was what I was going for