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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I over reacting or is my annoyance/anger justified?

67 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:30

I had to call British Gas this morning to discuss my bill. I was talking to a pompous fuckwit man who was asking for details about my household, income etc. I mentioned I recieve DLA for my son, Carers allowance and didn't get any further as he then replied "Oh ok so your child has learning difficulties then" - I had not mentioned what DS's disability was.

I asked him what qualified him to make such an assumption to which he replied "Oh well I just thought".

I Have to admit I stopped him there and asked him if he had learning difficulties as he seemed unable to understand there were other disabilities. His reply was "You are insulting me by saying that". I was then transferred to someone else.

AIBU to consider putting in a complaint against him? or am I over reacting.

OP posts:
knittedbreast · 20/07/2011 11:33

He was probebly just trying to be nice. People who dont have involvement with those with disabilities dont always know what you do, and he sounds like he was trying to be nice and understanding-would it be better had he said oh so your child is in a wheel chair?

GypsyMoth · 20/07/2011 11:34

Why do British gas need to know any of this?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 20/07/2011 11:36

I don't understand why you are upset at all.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 20/07/2011 11:37

Hmm. It is of course possible that the man either has DC with learning difficulties of his own, or knows someone else who does, and was trying to make conversation in the way that some people do when they spot common ground. I can also see how your response could have sounded to him as though you thought learning difficulties is something shameful or bad.
ANd you would be overreacting to put in a complaint.

rainbowinthesky · 20/07/2011 11:37

YABU.

prettyfly1 · 20/07/2011 11:37

umm - I think it was just a throwaway comment and a minor assumption - certainly not something to get so upset about so yabu imo.

GypsyMoth · 20/07/2011 11:38

I think yabu actually.

nethunsreject · 20/07/2011 11:39

yabu

handsomeharry · 20/07/2011 11:39

YABU

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 20/07/2011 11:40

What exactly about it was it that upset you. Still don't get it. You told him you get DLA (whatever that is) for you son and also you get carers allowance. He assumed your son had LD and you were his carer. What's so weird about that?

dreamingbohemian · 20/07/2011 11:41

He sounds clueless, but your asking him if he had learning difficulties himself was rude as well.

YANBU to be upset, it must be frustrating dealing with ignorant people all the time, but I think you should let it go and not complain.

AlpinePony · 20/07/2011 11:41

YABU.

Given the information you gave him, what on earth other conclusion was he supposed to draw? Hmm He was actually being (imo) fairly tactful yet friendly.

World on a plate much?

Blindcavesalamander · 20/07/2011 11:44

yabu

2shoes · 20/07/2011 11:46

yanbu. he shouldn't have made that assumption

2ticks · 20/07/2011 11:47

Rightly or wrongly the term 'learning difficulties' is used to cover a whole range of 'conditions' (for want of a better word), I think he was just using that term to show he had an understanding of why someone might receive DLA and carers allowance.

If you wanted to put him straight you could have said, "no, actually he has AS" and moved on. Instead you chose to be rude to him.

You have overreacted and are being unreasonable.

RealityAlt0174 · 20/07/2011 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:49

Knitted, I don't see why he needed to question anything of what his disability/needs are.

ILT, I was asking for a prepayment meter to be put it. Simply because the usage here is high as in the price i mean.

OP posts:
eurochick · 20/07/2011 11:52

YABU. I don't understand why you think that is worth a complaint or why you were rude to him.

pictish · 20/07/2011 11:52

Precious much OP? Hmm

Yabu.

HappySeven · 20/07/2011 11:53

I think he was probably just trying to be friendly although I can see why you would be sensitive. Off topic, do you really want a pre-payment meter? I'm sure I remember there being a lot in the paper about the unit price being higher when paid that way or has that changed?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:53

sorry xposted with other replies.

I had not finished my end of conversation with him before he made the assumption. Hence why I got annoyed. He had cut in on what I was saying.

OK I was BU to ask if he had learning difficulties, this much I admit but I still don't think he should have made an assumption especially when I was still talking.

I did explain to his colleague that DS has AS. She said she too would have felt the same had an assumption been made.

I won't put in a complaint as clearly I was over reacting.

OP posts:
Littlefish · 20/07/2011 11:54

A complete over-reaction on your part.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:54

Pictish - far from precious.

But why the need to assume?

I was in the midst of my sentence when he made the comment to add to notes on the system.

OP posts:
pictish · 20/07/2011 11:55

VERY precious. Get over yourself.

Evilclown · 20/07/2011 11:56

TLES, Whatever you do, do not get a prepayment meter.

The fuel you use will cost nearly twice as much and the helpline is rarely staffed, resulting in calls costing a fortune.

Actually I don't think yabu. It is no business of his to question why you recieve certain benefits. However you were a bit unreasonable to give him a mouthful.