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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I over reacting or is my annoyance/anger justified?

67 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:30

I had to call British Gas this morning to discuss my bill. I was talking to a pompous fuckwit man who was asking for details about my household, income etc. I mentioned I recieve DLA for my son, Carers allowance and didn't get any further as he then replied "Oh ok so your child has learning difficulties then" - I had not mentioned what DS's disability was.

I asked him what qualified him to make such an assumption to which he replied "Oh well I just thought".

I Have to admit I stopped him there and asked him if he had learning difficulties as he seemed unable to understand there were other disabilities. His reply was "You are insulting me by saying that". I was then transferred to someone else.

AIBU to consider putting in a complaint against him? or am I over reacting.

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 20/07/2011 11:56

why do british gas need to know this type of shit???? for billing? dont undertsnand

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:57

Happy, I have a £286 electric bill to pay. I have opted for the PP meter simply as it will be easier for me. I did request it back in January but it got lost in the system.

BG charge anything from £2.82 for a electric shower per week thats without the other things within the home.

OP posts:
stupefy · 20/07/2011 11:58

You sound very uptight. YABU.

GooseyLoosey · 20/07/2011 11:59

He should have been more tactful, but don't complain in writing.

Agree that my experience of a pre-payment thingy (although some years ago) was that it all worked out much more expensive - I seemed to be paying all of the time.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 11:59

Pictish, I agree I was BU, however I am far from precious. I hate being interrupted when I am mid sentence and for an assumption to be made I have to say is imo wrong.

If it been a question I would have answered it but it wasn't a question.

OP posts:
2ticks · 20/07/2011 12:00

I imagine there's a pretty high chance his colleague agreed with you simply to smooth things over and end the phone call!

porcamiseria · 20/07/2011 12:00

DO NOT GET prapayment its 100% more costsly, just switch to a montly direct debit for both gas n elec, trust me on this!

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 12:04

Porc, I am about to call them back to cancel it.

2ticks, I was actually on the phone 41 minutes trying to sort this bill out. So the call wasn't ended quickly. I didn't shout or raise my voice I did however ask if it was common practise to make assumptions. I have agreed that I was U.

OP posts:
Casserole · 20/07/2011 13:01

Honestly, the way it reads to me from your OP is that you were discussing tariffs, you mentioned the benefits you were on, he ticked a box on his screen accordingly and his software then required him to enter some more details and he just said a few words to summarise what he thought you'd said. He got the nature of your son's needs wrong, that's all. I don't think it's anything to be angry about and I think you were the disrespectful and rude one with how you replied.

It's worth noting that I have often noticed people aren't sure if they are "allowed" to say 'disabled' - there seems to be confusion as to whether it is an offensive or politically incorrect term. So it's entirely possible he was actually trying to AVOID saying anything you would find rude. I'm not saying he got it right, I'm just offering that perspective to you.

So I'm sorry, but I do think YWBU.

limitedperiodonly · 20/07/2011 13:11

If you make a complaint British Gas will listen to a recording of the call and decide which one of you is being unreasonable.

Perhaps you'll update us with their verdict.

ShirleyKnot · 20/07/2011 13:21

Twiddly dee it's time for the weekly TLES kick me thread.

StealthPolarBear · 20/07/2011 13:22

HWNBU to assume your son has a disability
HWBU to assume that was specifically a learning disability

That's how I understand it (and what I think) - is that right OP?

I don't understand why a lot of people on this thread see LD as the 'obvious' choice Confused

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 13:33

Casserole i agree i wbu Grin

OP posts:
LadyLibra · 20/07/2011 13:34

This is the type of AIBU that is impossible to have an opinion on ...

I think op you have the right to be fed up. As you were the one who had the call, only you will really 'get' the emotion/mistake.It is one of those having to be there situations?

I am sorry though.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 13:36

Stealth thats exactly it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 13:39

I tried to avoid a long OP filled with the he said/she said/i said.

But here is how the conversation went

"are you in reciept of any benefits"

"Yes, I recieve carers allowance, DLA for my son, and"

"Oh so your son has learning difficulties then"

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 20/07/2011 13:46

TLES

YANBU dd is in receipt of DLA and most definitely does NOT have a learning disability. I think it is an ignornant and lazy assumption. I would be livid if it was assumed about her (someone once asked me if she would be able to go to mainstream school FFS !) I understand your irritation, I wonder if your call got transfered as he realised what a cock he'd just made of himself?

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/07/2011 13:51

Well, being interrupted AT ALL would have annoyed me, regardless of what the interruption consisted of!

You mentioned pompous, was the man pompous before this point, TLES? Because if he was, I know I would have taken that particular interruption as having the subtext of "because you sound as if you do too".

But DON'T get a prepayment meter, whatever you do. The cost per unit is substantially greater than normal billing.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 13:52

Doris, he apologised and transferred me. so maybe he realised. I am U however for asking if he had LD.

OP posts:
gramercy · 20/07/2011 13:59

You sound like one of those terribly touchy people. Not everyone is thoroughly versed in the appropriate language to use concerning disabilities, and it is unfair and rude to jump on people who slip up. If someone is being insulting or purposefully unsympathetic then a reaction can be excused, but reacting like you did makes people more and more afraid of conversing with you for fear that they'll drop a clanger and you'll go off on one.

tiredgranny · 20/07/2011 14:00

some energy suppliers give u cheaper rate if i receipt certain benefits so perhaps he was trying to be helpful i get cheaper rate from edf

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 14:05

I didn't go off on one or shout, I simply stated my son didn't have a LD and it was wrong to assume he did because I had mentioned DLA. Thats when I asked if he had a ld as he didn't seem to realise there were other disabilities.

He apologised and said I just assumed. to which I repeated - it is wrong to assume.

OP posts:
cory · 20/07/2011 14:05

He made an assumption. You used learning difficulties as an insult to show you were angry with him. Afraid I know who I think was more BU.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 14:06

WYLI, he was pompous from the start of the conversation I had with him and also not listening to what I said because after I said something to him he asked me a question relating to the answer I had already given him.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/07/2011 14:07

Cory, to which I have already agreed I was BU.

OP posts: