Hi everyone, wondered what you think about this one (bit long I know!):
The day before yesterday I was not feeling well at all and ended up being sick all day, DH decided to go out with his friends anyway which I was sort-of fine with although it would have been nice to have had the help at home with the kids. Yesterday I ended up in hospital because of an asthma attack (not sure if this was related because the other seemed more tummy-bug like, but they did pretty much coincide). When I told him on Blackberry Messenger that I wasn't feeling well and had gone to hospital, he read it immediately but ignored it. I assumed it was because he was busy at work but then when he got home he ignored a subsequent message, as well as three phone calls over the space of five hours. I also left a non-naggy, matter-of-fact voicemail about how bad I was feeling. They let me go early in the morning and I feel a lot better today. However I am very upset that DH chose to ignore the fact I was in hospital, and then came up with the lame excuse that "his phone battery died" - this is blatantly not true, as not only does blackberry messenger show a different symbol when the message is read, but his phone was ringing, NOT straight to voicemail (apart from one of the times, which came up "Busy". He then had the cheek to say to me that I should stop worrying about the fact he hadn't called me and that something bad could have happened to him! Although I'm trying to rationalise it all I can't really think of a good enough reason why you would completely ignore your wife (or anyone, come to that) who is in hospital, however minor or major it was.
It's not as if we'd had a raging argument or something. In fact, we never argue, mainly because I can't stand his arguing style and have become resigned to just letting things go. Things have been "lukewarm" (for want of a better word) between us for about six months now, it started about New Year's. He claims to always be "busy" especially at work (although he used to call me and send messages constantly from work, as well as take time to mess about looking things up on the internet - don't get me wrong I don't need constant messages, I'm just saying he used to be much more attentive) and now seems generally disinterested in me and the kids. Every time I ask him what's wrong he tells me nothing or that he's not in the mood to talk. We now spend most evenings in different rooms, he prefers to eat reading the paper in the study than with me and the kids. He's also incredibly authoritarian with them, always had that streak but worse now. When I tell him to back off he says I'm "undermining" him, although he actually undermines people all the time. To be honest I've been thinking of leaving for a while now, yet every time I bring it up he says everything's fine and to concentrate on good times blah blah blah. When we had a trial breakup for a week a few months ago he sent soppy love messages all day (that I later found out were copied and pasted from the internet!!) But then the old behaviour returned after two weeks. I think this finally takes the biscuit, don't you? :-(