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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family comes first?

37 replies

twinklingfairy · 19/07/2011 13:43

I may be being unreasonable, I am on the fence so looking for opinions not an attack.

DBil can get Half price tickets for The Singing Kettle.
He got 4, for himself and his DD, his GF and her DS. But they split up and he had 2 tickets spare.
He put it on facebook that they were going spare.
A friend said he would take them.
5 mins later I logged on and asked did he know that we were down that weekend, any chance the cousins could go together?
Nope, his friend was first, so his friend gets them.
He said he would try to get more tickets for us but forgot and by the time he remembered they were gone.
He suggested I try the box office.

Is it first dibs or should it be Family first, sorry mate?

OP posts:
chicletteeth · 19/07/2011 13:45

If he'd already given them to his friend, then yabu

Flisspaps · 19/07/2011 13:46

First dibs.

SleepySuzy · 19/07/2011 13:46

I agree. First come, first served. But I'd possibly have asked family privately first.

dexter73 · 19/07/2011 13:47

His friend asked first so he gets the tickets.

TheMonster · 19/07/2011 13:48

YABU. He had promised them to someone before you asked.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 19/07/2011 13:49

Yeah, probably.
Though the tickets have not changed hands yet, I don't suppose that makes any odds?
Gentlemans agreement and all that.

I dunno though, I reckon, for the sake of 5 mins between us, I would have said sorry mate, but thats just me.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 19/07/2011 13:51

If a friend offered me tickets and then said 5 mins later 'oh you can't have them anymore because my SIL has just asked' then I would be quite offended.

Flisspaps · 19/07/2011 13:51

No, no odds at all that the tickets haven't exchanged hands or that his friend was only 5 minutes ahead of you. Still first dibs :)

dexter73 · 19/07/2011 13:52

It doesn't matter that it was only 5 minutes later that you asked, he had still told someone else that they could have them.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 19/07/2011 13:53

Would you?
I think if I knew that it was because their Family were going to be there and that the family didn't see one another often etc etc.
I would explain all this so that they understood.
If it was a week before, I would be annoyed, but five mins and publicly on facebook?
I would understand.

OP posts:
Original poster
twinklingfairy · 19/07/2011 13:55

Yeah. Fair enough.

I just think I would have apologised to the friend, but that is just me. I know my friends would understand.
Or I would go all out to get more tickets so that the cousins could get together.

OP posts:
AuntieMonica · 19/07/2011 13:56

yup, an offer is an offer, family or not

i would also probably offered to family first, but would not go back on a promise.

YABU to expect him to let his friend down

TheMonster · 19/07/2011 13:57

Yes, I would be offended.

He didn't offer them to you first.

SpecialFriedRice · 19/07/2011 13:58

I agree with everyone else. Its first dibs.

JanMorrow · 19/07/2011 14:00

It's a bit thoughtless of him not to think of you, but bit late for that now!

pictish · 19/07/2011 14:07

yeah - yabu - his pal got in first....so tough. Soz.

thisisyesterday · 19/07/2011 14:08

first dibs, sorry

Tidey · 19/07/2011 14:10

I would always ask family first then ask on fb to everyone else. Sadly he didn't do that, and someone else got in first, and one can't go back on that. Nothing to be done I'm afraid.

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 19/07/2011 14:11

First dibs. His mate has probably already told his kids they are going.

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 10/08/2011 22:12

His mate didn't turn up.

OP posts:
fluffywhitekittens · 10/08/2011 22:21

Had he given him the tickets and then he didn't go or was he meeting him there?

Sharney · 10/08/2011 22:23

bugger....

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 10/08/2011 22:26

Meeting him there.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 10/08/2011 22:28

nah,1st dibs gets it,fair is fair.so dont chance your arm with the family innit

Original poster
twinklingfairy · 10/08/2011 22:36

Yeah.
Just saying, the mate didn't blimmin turn up.
Wasted tickets!!
grr, and all that crack.

OP posts: