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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could the school have lied?

57 replies

knittedbreast · 18/07/2011 11:25

My son went on a trip about 3/weeks ago. it was a one non residential (he is 5, foundation year).

Anyway the bus broke down when it took them from the place back to the school. they got home at 6pm rather than 3pm. children were crying, over tired and hungry. the school had used the same bus company the previous week and it had broken down at least twice the week before and they still used the company.

Anyway, my son has been telling me that it didnt actually brake down, the coach tried to drive under a bridge and crashed into it as the coach was too tall. now hes 5, and he can talk alot of well.... but he was adament about it, hes been saying it my parents, my boyfs parents and me. he said the coach was dented and that they didnt know the coach couldnt fit under the bridge and it had a crash. then they had to call another.

im not the type of parent to belive every word all the time that their children say, but he seems very sure.

if there was a crash, no matter how small. the coach didnt break down, and they havent told the parents.

what do you think?

OP posts:
emptyshell · 18/07/2011 12:10

As an example of how stories get "interesting" when kids get hold of them.

School I worked at used to bus the kids in from the further villages in the catchment area (RC school serving three fairly rural parishes). Bus broke down one day, bit of a burning smell but no biggie (verified by umpteen people - I lived in-catchment myself so had plenty of people around I could ask!). Bus driver called the school, head went out to help keep an eye (bus staffed by LEA escorts anyway but school regularly followed it home and kept a watching brief on what went on on there), bus company sent a replacement out to ferry them on to school.

Kid in my class was adamant there were flames flying out from under the floor and that the fire brigade came!

If it HAD happened you bet every kid would have got off the bus full of telling you all about it and it would be impossible to hush up!

worraliberty · 18/07/2011 12:12

I've just realised this happened 3 weeks ago

Has your DS only just started saying this about a crash?

fedupofnamechanging · 18/07/2011 12:13

It does matter if the bus crashed, because a driver should know the height of the vehicle and whether it will fit under a bridge. If they have such poor judgement, then they shouldn't be driving kids around.

OP, I very much doubt that the school would lie about this - it would be too easy to find out the truth and maintaining the lie would need a lot of people to never slip up.

Original poster
knittedbreast · 18/07/2011 12:14

no he hasnt just started saying it. but we have been away on holiday, there was like a week off school for various things and
school trips
too

OP posts:
worraliberty · 18/07/2011 12:15

Sorry I don't understand why you're only concerned about this now then?

There would have been office staff available to quickly phone and ask even if there was a week off school for various things and school trips?

MsAnnThroppy · 18/07/2011 12:19

Any crash, even a minor one, can leave you with hidden injuries, like whiplash, that don't necessarily manifest themselves immediately. Or so my osteopath says. So, I would want to know, it would make a difference to me.

Also, breakdown = unfortunate incident. Crash = potential incompetence, dangerous driving etc. I'd want to know this too in order to decide whether I was willing to allow my children on a bus with a company with a poor safety record.

But I agree, the crash scenario sounds unlikely in the circumstances.

Original poster
knittedbreast · 18/07/2011 12:26

just because ive posted it today dousnt mean ive only just become concerned!

OP posts:
ragged · 18/07/2011 12:31

There is no way that a bunch of 5yos could keep that a secret; never mind the staff & school TAs (they gossip among themselves as much as the parents do at the gate).

worraliberty · 18/07/2011 13:52

just because ive posted it today dousnt mean ive only just become concerned!

But you've had 3 weeks to voice your concern to the right people...ie the school Confused

Original poster
knittedbreast · 18/07/2011 14:11

no i have not. ive been away and there has been time off. I thought he might have just said it to me, but hes told both sets of grandparents and whenever we mentioned the trip, or any trip he keeps talking about it.

i didnt want to rock the boat by asking at school, but he does seems very sure and his story hasnt budged on details. thats why i didnt mention it to school earlier.

you might have called up right away or while they were from school but i didnt ok? he still mentioning and thats why im thinking about it

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/07/2011 14:22

You have to talk to the school because it's clearly bothering you. When you know the full story do not be surprised if neither your son nor the school have lied.

soverylucky · 18/07/2011 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyPickle · 18/07/2011 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyPickle · 18/07/2011 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dexter73 · 19/07/2011 13:03

Have you asked about this yet?

Pin0t · 19/07/2011 13:23

Op I'd be worried too. It's about trust - you have to be able to trust what the school says.

What's the latest?

CloudC · 19/07/2011 13:33

Children that age do tend to dramatise and I don't think a school would mislead you about something like that, but still, if I were you, I would ask the school for more information on what happened, though not in an accusatory way.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 19/07/2011 14:45

Call the local police and ask them (non emergency number). Any incident would need to be reported to the police I guess.

It matters a hell of a lot if the bus driver crashed rather than broke down! Breaking down is unfortunate and not the fault of the bus driver who is carrying precious cargo. Crashing, even if misjudging a bridge height, is non excusable and I would be bloody angry.

Let us know if you find out the truth!

snicker · 19/07/2011 14:53

A few months ago our local secondary school bus crashed when it went under a low bridge. It was all over the news and made the front page of the paper. It seems unlikely that the exact same thing could happen and nobody be aware of it. There is a Thomas the tank engine story where a bus crashes into a bridge.

Miggsie · 19/07/2011 14:56

When DD's school has a trip the teachers go and about 5 parent helpers and there is no way something like this would not have been mentioned as soon as the bus returned to the playground. One memorable school trip 4 children were sick and it the the talk of the playground for kids and mums for days afterwards.

DOes no one else mention this? If there is no corroboration from anyone else it is likely that he thought it happened but it didn't.

randomness · 19/07/2011 14:57

Where there's blame there's a claim...

ShoutyHamster · 19/07/2011 15:17

If the bus had crashed, I am sure that EVERY SINGLE CHILD would still be unable to stop talking about it. There's no way it just would not have come up! Even if they had tried to hush it up, every child would be telling stories like your son. Parents WOULD be talking and curious by now.

That's why I don't believe a school would even try to 'hush up' something like this, even if they very much wanted to. They would know from exerience that there is no possible way that they could get away with it. You would have been told - maybe in suitably pacifying language, but you would have been told!

Original poster
knittedbreast · 19/07/2011 15:23

no i havent asked. yesterday it poured with rain and last night lo was sick so i have kept him off today. im going to wait until i see my friend and see what her daughter said.

he only keeps mentioning it when we talk about the trip, hes only mentioned it "so many times" because he is baby sat at the weekends while we both work by different people and each of them remembers the trip and the holiday

i dont think it would have been a big crash either

OP posts:
fluffyanimal · 19/07/2011 15:25

"yesterday it poured with rain"
What's that got to do with it? Confused

Original poster
knittedbreast · 19/07/2011 15:26

oh sorry, didnt i finish that!

it poured with rain and school is a half hour walk away so daddy collected him in the van without me and his sister! sorry

OP posts: