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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tennis taster lessons - slightly nutty parenting

74 replies

Quattrocento · 16/07/2011 17:04

The DCs had their tennis lesson this morning. On one of the adjoining courts, the coaches were giving a free tennis taster lesson to a group of 6. One child was having the most rotten time. She was aged about 8, had clearly never held a racquet before and missed every shot. Every single shot. She ended up in tears, while I tried to comfort her.

Her silly parent had waltzed in, abandoned her on her first lesson, given her a racquet that was entirely the wrong size for her, clearly never thrown a ball or anything like that to her to practise, and buggered off to the bar. The coach spent all his time trying to sort her out, which wasn't great for the rest of them. And the net result is one small girl who will never ever pick up a racquet again without fear of humiliation.

So I am a bit cross with this parent. Utterly thoughtless.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 17/07/2011 00:17

Really? Then you'll find it easier to get a grip won't you?

Collapsed in a crying heap at your feet? Oh do try harder ffs

alewVera · 17/07/2011 00:21

Interesting, coz only one other post says mother. I was referring to OP as a mother hen. Not parent of child.

begonyabampot · 17/07/2011 00:44

Ok, I assumed in 2 posts that the 'parent' might have been the mother - this doesn't change the fact that the Op was on the whole deemed to BU.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 17/07/2011 00:50

"I wouldn't expect the mum to supply a new, correct size racquet"

"I think it was up to the coaches to speak to and advise the woman"

"She may well have just looked at the poster quickly"

Where a gender assumption was made, the assumption was that it was a woman. Is that better?

Tennis is elitist IMO, in this country. Club fees, coaching fees, racquets, tournament entries, plus loads of parental involvement and whatnot to ferry around.

That's not the point though. The point is that tennis is a really good sport for children - and it's a lifelong sport, not something like rugby where you have to quit in your twenties. It shouldn't be something that children can be put off forever from through a bit of carelessness.

OP posts:

begonyabampot · 17/07/2011 01:07

Quattro - what are you on about, why all the sidetracking about the 'parent' being a mum? What difference does it make - most people still think YWBU in regards to this parents behaviour.

cory · 17/07/2011 01:22

If you aren't familiar with tennis, how would you know that you are supposed or even allowed to stay and watch. Never allowed at dd's ballet lessons, or drama lessons- how would I know this was different? Am getting the distinct feeling that to have a tennis playing child you need to be in the "in" group and know these things instinctively. I think ds will have to stick to football.

Salmotrutta · 17/07/2011 01:34

I never stayed at any of my kids activities unless the timings meant it wasn't worthwhile going home. Most activities discourage parents hanging around and hovering over their offspring surely?
And by the way OP - most amateur rugby players keep going far past their twenties . As do horse riders, footballers, golfers, boxers, dancers, squash players... blah blah blah.......
Why on earth would people play tennis for longer than anything else ?

begonyabampot · 17/07/2011 01:45

saying that, I do play tennis with 60 and 70yr olds - so it does have longevity and is very social - something the whole family can take part in no matter the age and sex.

JockTamsonsBairns · 17/07/2011 01:46

Bloody hell, is tennis this pressurised and elitist? This girl collapsed in a heap crying at your feet - that sounds dramatic. Makes me quite glad my DD (13) 'only' plays competitive football. Sometimes she has a bad game and plays like a donkey. Hey ho, such is life. Other weeks, she's a bit of a superstar, and that's great. However, I don't think I would welcome another parent's involvement one way or another. She's pretty much learned over the years that its feels great to perform well, and it feels shit when she's not up to par. That's sport though, is it not? Or am I missing something?

ragged · 17/07/2011 06:52

I have tennis pros & teachers in the family, I consider tennis our family disease (other people get alcoholism and depression, we get tennis...; can you tell how bad I was at it & loathed years of lessons which resulted in no ability whatsoever?) and I still didn't know there were different size raquets. [hblush].

Have booked DC in for tennis sessions this summer, actually (just hoping to get them to a standard where they can sustain a rally). Definitely plan to drop and run... but nobody has yet handed me a leaflet to suggest I should do otherwise.

Gymnastics is very competitive, pressurised & elitist too, I dare say. Am trying to encourage DC into swimming, Judo, cycling & X-country running, instead.

ragged · 17/07/2011 06:58

Why on earth would people play tennis for longer than anything else

Dunno, but they do! My grandfather (fairly senile by then, too) didn't put his raquet down until his late 80s. His son (my uncle, now almost 80) is still teaching. But you don't have to learn it as a youngster to enjoy it.

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 07:09

It sounds like the coach didn't cope well, and the parent was clueless.
'd have expected the coach to have been able to adapt to the need better.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 17/07/2011 09:10

Okay, you all mostly think I was being unreasonable, and possibly judgey. I agree.

I do think tennis as a sport is great for its longevity, but this discussion has actually reinforced for me how elitist it is. And it doesn't have to be like that.

OP posts:

NestaFiesta · 17/07/2011 10:41

"That's not the point though. The point is that tennis is a really good sport for children - and it's a lifelong sport, not something like rugby where you have to quit in your twenties. It shouldn't be something that children can be put off forever from through a bit of carelessness."

This sounds very prescriptive OP. I can't judge someone who left their DC at a tennis lesson when I have never ever taken my DCs to a tennis lesson. I have never hit a ball in my life. At least the parent is trying to introduce their DC to tennis. To be honest I'd have done the same- left DC at a taster lesson. The fact the child was crying does not make the parent a bad parent. It does not mean Britain has lost a potential Wimbledon champion because a parent was in the bar.

I saw a 3 year old crying on a bouncy castle yesterday. I don't think she's been put off for life. It's not a disaster if a child doesn't take to a sport you want them to take to. And it's not even your child!

proudfoot · 17/07/2011 13:28

YABVU

You sound like a total busy body.

Loshad · 17/07/2011 21:51

Tennis is a total hothouse sport though, the LTA encourages it at an insanely early age as well imo. Agree with the poster who agrees is also very expensive if you want your child to do well, compare with eg rugby - all the lads i know playing county/northern england rugby have never had to pay for a private lesson in their lives - join a club for £30/year and if you are good enough you rise to the top.
Know plenty of 40 yo's playing rugby, loads of 50+ playing cricket and folk who have ridden until 80+ so don't think tennis is unique amongst being able to play it for life.

MsPlaced · 18/07/2011 13:15

and you don't have to quit rugby in your twenties, thats a ridiculous notion, and one that the 50plus team I know would take issue with.

Bramshott · 18/07/2011 13:21

Oh blimey - I was thinking of booking DD1 is for a couple of tennis taster sessions that are running in the summer holidays, but was feeling slightly nervous about it for some unaccountable reason. Now I can see why!! Needless to say she has never held a tennis racket, I just thought it might be a fun way to spend a mid-august morning! Don't think I'll be rushing to sign up now . . . . !

begonyabampot · 18/07/2011 13:28

don't be put off, it's a great game especially for girls who often fall behind in sports. Just speak to someone in charge and explain your situation, her age, experience etc. If they are any way decent at what they do, they will slot her in the correct group.

valiumredhead · 18/07/2011 13:29

Bramshott our club is nothing like that. It's fun and the kids love it, I imagine if you want to take it further then they are delighted but there is and will be no hot housing in this house!

valiumredhead · 18/07/2011 13:30

And ds had never played before at all - we didn't even have a raquet.

nancy75 · 18/07/2011 19:48

Bramshott, the impression given of tennis by this thread is not right. any half decent club would put your child in the right age/ability group from the start. Players are not pressured into playing more than once a week they do it because they want to. Tennis is expensive compared to sports like football and rugby, but on a par with /cheaper than other sports like swimming gymnastics ballet.

ragged · 18/07/2011 20:01

Swimming is much (MUCH) cheaper around here than gym club.

snicker · 18/07/2011 20:02

If my 8yo was doing a tennis taster session then I wouldn't expect to have to watch, I would expect the club to provide the racquet and ensure she was in the right age group. In our household we do 8 different sports, 4 of them competitively and I'm sure we could bore the pants off a tennis coach about the levels and equipment needed in those sports but non of us play tennis so would need the club to fill in the gaps.

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