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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tennis taster lessons - slightly nutty parenting

74 replies

Quattrocento · 16/07/2011 17:04

The DCs had their tennis lesson this morning. On one of the adjoining courts, the coaches were giving a free tennis taster lesson to a group of 6. One child was having the most rotten time. She was aged about 8, had clearly never held a racquet before and missed every shot. Every single shot. She ended up in tears, while I tried to comfort her.

Her silly parent had waltzed in, abandoned her on her first lesson, given her a racquet that was entirely the wrong size for her, clearly never thrown a ball or anything like that to her to practise, and buggered off to the bar. The coach spent all his time trying to sort her out, which wasn't great for the rest of them. And the net result is one small girl who will never ever pick up a racquet again without fear of humiliation.

So I am a bit cross with this parent. Utterly thoughtless.

OP posts:

wompoopigeon · 16/07/2011 18:36

I spent every tennis lesson at that age missing the ball and crying.
Never did me any harm.

valiumredhead · 16/07/2011 18:39

I didn't realise Tennis was elitist.

Our club is amazing, the kids hero worship the coaches who spend lots of time really boosting the kids' confidence and making them feel good about themselves. I watch ds now compared to how he was a term ago and can't believe how much he has come on.

begonyabampot · 16/07/2011 18:41

it is elitist - in this country anyway. Other than hitting a ball once a week in a group class it is almost impossible for a child to really progress without loads of dosh!

MsPlaced · 16/07/2011 18:41

its such a middle class ishoo "I saw the most awful thing, a poor wee child positively abandoned on a tennis court, they might never pick up a racquet again!" Oh the horror!

valiumredhead · 16/07/2011 18:44

beg I think that's probably true of many sports isn't it?

nancy75 · 16/07/2011 18:45

It doesn't need lots of money, but it does need alot of in put from parents. For childrens ratings to improve they need to compete, which means travelling to as many tournaments as possible.

controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 18:45

MsPlaced I think I love you

zipzap · 16/07/2011 18:46

Was there an explanation on the poster re red, orange and green? She may well have just looked at the poster quickly and thought ooh green that'll be the easy safe one and red will be the difficult one; it's just as logical an explanation as red being easy and green being difficult!

LynetteScavo · 16/07/2011 18:47

Can someone please explain all this red and green to me?

I'm surprised racquets aren't provided - my DC's coaches will take a racquet off any child who turns up with one the wrong size, and give them a suitable one.

Some children are really poor at catching/hitting balls, so to say the parent had obviously never practiced is a bit harsh. It's taken almost 2 years for my DD to be able to actually hit a ball over the net, and that's with me putting in a fiar amount of throwing/catching practice (I really don't want her to end up a ball dunce like me!) She was embarrassingly rubbish when she first started, but luckily she was too young to care.

Personally I wouldn't have left my 8 year old child in a taster lesson, unless is was suggested by the coach. But then I'm nosy and would want to see what I was signing my child up for.

LynetteScavo · 16/07/2011 19:05

Ah, have googled and now I understand the colours!

Heifer · 16/07/2011 19:08

I understand what you mean Quattro, I always find it odd when a parents drops and goes at the 1st session but then again I'm odd as I actually like watching DD at her tennis lessons, and swimming lessons.

I do think it sounds like the coaches fault she was in the wrong group and had the wrong racket. Both clubs DD goes to have their own proper size rackets. My DD is 7 and is red so I am very surprised she was in a green group.

pickledsiblings · 16/07/2011 19:14

YABU on lots of levels and may even have contributed to the poor girl's misery. Some DC even at the age of 8 find it difficult to handle their emotions. It doesn't mean that she has been damaged for life because she cried; it was probably just frustration. Missing every shot on a first tennis lesson sounds about right to me when you factor in nerves and gawping onlookers.

nancy75 · 16/07/2011 19:14

it's not odd to leave an 8 year old at a tennis lesson, the coach would not want all the parents on the court. Children start tennis at about 3 years old, they are left at the lessons - parents don't stay.

begonyabampot · 16/07/2011 19:21

I think tennis is elitist compared to many other sports. You can compete at a good level football, badminton, volleyball, netball, athletics, swimming, boxing, gymnastics etc without having to spend lots of money on personal coaching. Where my kids play there is a set who are already pulling away from the kids who play once a week in a group class - these kids are playing about at least 4 times a week and receiving one on one coaching as well as the group classes. The other kids who do the once a week group class are going to find it difficult to compete.

begonyabampot · 16/07/2011 19:23

And I'm talking about 8 and 9 yr olds here - it's big money if you really want your kids to get on.

Heifer · 16/07/2011 19:25

I don't mean that the parents stay on the court, they either go up onto the viewing gallery if inside (and the venue has one) or they go outside of the courts and watch from there, or even from the bar if you can see the court.

Why would you not want to know how your child got on?

All the parents from one of my DDs Red sessions watch, and the other older group - some who play 4 times a week. None of their parents drop and go anywhere.

I admit, at her other club session, not a lesson as such, a few of the parents do drop and go, either to the bar or home, but I don't think I have ever seen anyone drop and go on the 1st session!

alewVera · 16/07/2011 19:29

For a "taster session" I wouldnt expect to have to buy a racket.

(I also might be slightly miffed if some mother hen was fussing over my kid)

Original poster

Quattrocento · 16/07/2011 22:14

When the parent re-emerged (interesting that you've all concluded to a man that it was a mother), the parent said, 'Oh I was just in the bar'. That's how I knew.

Dunno about contributing to distress. Hard not to respond, frankly. Particularly as she came to get a ball, and collapsed in a crying heap at my feet.

Whenever I go to these sorts of things - swimming, tennis, singing etc, I tend to look at my own children to see how they are progressing. Not other people's generally. Not sure if that is universal but it must be fairly common.

OP posts:

controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 22:20

We've ALL concluded it was a man?

I didn't.

Get over yourself.

controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 22:21

Sorry, you SAID we ALL concluded it was a mother.

I didn't.

You are wrong.

Get over yourself. Is this supposed to be some kind of a test?

controlleddemolition · 16/07/2011 22:23

Here's my post, if that helps.

PLEASE, PLEASE point out the point where I assumed the parent was a mother:

controlleddemolition Sat 16-Jul-11 18:30:56
How do you know her "silly parent" had "waltzed off to the bar" by the way? If you knew where her parent was and this child was so upset why didn't you go and find this "slightly nutty, silly parent" who is so shit at parenting they have NEVER THROWN A BALL to their tennis racket wielding eight year old?

Seriously, there are some APPALLING parents out there, and you stress aboutthis.

MsPlaced · 16/07/2011 23:07

erm, no, not all of us said mother, so do be careful with the sweeping.

nancy75 · 16/07/2011 23:11

I must be reading a different thread - about 2 posters mention her/mother everyone else says the parent.

PiousPrat · 16/07/2011 23:23

I think you are all missing a key point here.

There are different sizes of tennis raquet?

Original poster

Quattrocento · 17/07/2011 00:12

Oh yes, there are. Different sizes of grip as well ...

OP posts:

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