aibu my so called friends upset me

[par05]

2 of my friends are super health and safety especially with their children they both have 1 child each whereas i have 3 and i always have 1 or 2 extra children with me last year we went on a trip and this year my so called friend is saying she will only go if we don't take 12 kids when it was my 3 her 1 and 2 extra all over 6 except my youngest who is 3 i feel like telling her i know how to take care of my kids and their friends so i will go on my own. this is the 3rd or 4th time she has said things like this to me but when she needs something i'm the1st one to help her!! the other friend her family will say things about her child then she complains to me that her family say things but then she will say something to me about one of my kids and then i get upset all my kids are polite well mannered do well in school know how to behave in public and are respectfull to each other and adults when out at home diff story!!!!

Just to clarify, it was 6 all together including her 1 and my friend knew before hand they were coming. Was not child minding, as someone else mentioned these 2 other kids would not have been able to go if i had not offered, i took them as few months earlier they had lost their dad and i thought it would be a fun day out for them to go as the mum does not drive. They are good friends with my children and also know my friends child.
I do appreciate the fact that she might have been a bit overwhelmed, but as far as i was led to belive a good time was had by all.
I am of the mindset the more the merrier but will prob not ask her this time round and go on my own or with another friend who has 4 children;)

Thanks to all those who gave advice and understood.

For those saying you don't get time to chat with more kids, I've found the opposite.

Four of us regularly meet up in the school holidays, between us we have 11 dc aged between 1 and 8. The dc keep each other entertained, we get to drink plenty of coffee and talk all day with fairly few interuptions! Once you have several dc with you another 1 or 2 really makes little difference.

If you want adult quality time with your friends you get babysitters and then meet up.

par05 - I think you need to accept that for someone with only 1 child, the shock of going out with 3 or 4 (or more) children in one go, can be like a sledge hammer. Your friend may have willingly gone out with you (all) the first few times, but then changed her mind because it is such hard work. I don't think this is unreasonable, and she has been honest with you as to her feelings.

It is double standards on her part to think she can request you not to look after other people's children when you have booked a day out with her, but still want you to look after her child on other occassions.

I have 3 children myself and get asked regularly to look after other people's children. However, I wouldn't dream of going out/on a day trip with another mother without first telling her that I am bringing along another 1 or 2 children. I would give my friend the opportunity to back out.

Whilst you seem to enjoy looking after a lot of children, this is the minority view. If you are happy to drop this friendship, are your children happy not to see their friend? Perhaps you could arrange a day out with just your 3 and her 1 so that the children can get together?

But, HeadFirst, you are all there with your children and there are four of you! It's just not comparable.

The OP was talking about only two adults, one of whom at least expected a conversation, plus their children and other people's children, too. Of course her situation is completely different to yours.

We did chat loads as all the kids played. We were not bothered by the kids much as they were to busy playing with each other. we were in a safe enviroment and the kids could have come to us if needed.

Can you really not understand why your friend doesn't want to go out with extra children?