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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have admitted my first ever girl crush?

33 replies

AngryChair · 14/07/2011 21:04

So I've developed a major crush on a woman from the TV show Nikita - I told DP in a jokey way and he went all moody and said I should make up my mind whether I'm bi or straight!! Can you have a girl crush without being bi?? I thought so and isn't it a bit childish to take offense to me having a crush on a celeb? was I unreasonable to admit it??

OP posts:

mumsiepie · 14/07/2011 21:43

If you said you had a crush on Nikita in the pub or Nikita at work he might feel threatened but on the TV!! He sounds nuts!

Blurry29 · 14/07/2011 21:46

lol if thats the case in my 10 year marriage I've had far too many girl crushes:

Cheryl Cole
Katy Perry
A little but of J Lo
A little bit of Angelina
Sandra Bullock..................

My celeb girl cush list could go on and on.... My DP thinks it's funny as some of them are also on his list :)

UANBU I think your DH is though :)

WhoAteMySnickers · 14/07/2011 21:52

This is a difficult one.

How would you feel if your DH told you he had a 'boy crush' on a celebrity?

Maybe he just feels a bit weird about it all, like it's a slur against his sexual prowess or something?

I've had a few girl crushes and my DH loves hearing about them.

LaWeasleyAintWeaselyAnymore · 14/07/2011 22:07

Erm, no YANBU, he sounds a bit oversensitive - it's not like you're ever going to even meet her!

Unless he has a homophobic streak you never knew about before [hconfused]

saint1970 · 24/06/2012 00:03

I think we all have at one time or another.

PfftTheMagicDraco · 24/06/2012 00:05

I have three. They have been my girl crushes, in the same order, for about the last 8 years or so.

A crush is a crush. WHo cares?

DamselInTornDress · 24/06/2012 00:06

He's feeling threatened. Today a celebrity girl crush, tomorrow a girl crush on a friend kinda thinking. He just needs a little reassurance. Go show him some love.

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2012 00:12

I don't think I'd really want to know if my DH had a crush on anyone to be honest.

Why would anyone want to know that about their DP?

VairpreshusFB · 24/06/2012 00:18

Why do women freely admit to girl crushes but firmly deny they are bi? If you find a member of the same sex sexually attractive you are bi! It's no big deal, I am bi, my dh knows, I have always known, but only really admitted it around 3 years ago. I think many women are bi. I don't plan on having any encounters to fulfil my bisexuality, I love my husband and only want to be with him, but I am bi and so my dear, are you.

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2012 00:22

I think that's rubbish Vair

What goes on in someone's head as a fantasy, is often very different to reality.

If one follows your train of thought, anyone who fantasises about having sex with someone else is therefore unfaithful.

It's quite possible to have a 'safe' crush on the opposite sex because you know it's never going to turn into a reality.

If it did turn into a reality, that person could well run a mile.

EchoBitch · 24/06/2012 00:27

What's a girl crush?

I thought it was something you had about an older girl at school.

Lots of girls/women are attractive and i get that and like to see good looking women but it doesn't mean i want to shag them.

ErikNorseman · 24/06/2012 06:59

Vair that's bollocks. I don't have romantic feelings for women and I wouldn't want to have sex with one so I'm not bisexual, but I have definitely had girl crushes, on slebs and on a couple of real women in my life. Still not bisexual though.

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 24/06/2012 07:23

I'd tell him that surely he has small crushes on hot women too and he needs to grow up.

balotelli · 24/06/2012 07:43

He's being a knob!

I'm male and happily married and straight but think Brian Molko is gorgeous. DW knows this and has no problem with it. I dont see the problem in appreciating beauty etc in the same sex. Just beacuse you find someone of the same sex attractive doesnt mean you are gay or bi.

LurkingAndLearningForNow · 24/06/2012 07:47

My DP is straight and has the worlds biggest boy crush on Bryan Cranston. I tease him because he's old but I don't care. He knows I'm bisexual leaning towards lesbian on the Kinsey scale, and he doesn't mind when I drool over hot chicks. In fact, we do it together! I also drool over hot men too.

IMO a healthy relationship means you can discuss crushes and still know you love only each other. The reason I know my DP won't ever have an affair is because he's too damn honest over which of my friends are hotties!

YouOldSlag · 24/06/2012 09:10

My definition of a girl crush is a beautiful face you never tire of looking at: Angelina,Holly Willoughby etc. Then there's the crushes on people you'd want as your BFF i.e Katy Perry, Adele, Victoria Wood, Felicity Huffman.

None of this is sexual to me, it's just like having favourites.

Krumbum · 24/06/2012 18:31

What do you mean when you say a crush then? because I would think that means want to sleep with. Which if it is a woman then your probably bi, even if you don't act on it, just having feelings for women is what the sexuality is, you don't have to have had sex with a man to say your straight so what's the difference? A sexuality is about attraction, irrelevant to whether you act on it. I'm bi but in a long term relationship with a man so will not be sleeping with women, that doesn't make me straight now.
Blurry, Cheryl cole wtf! That is unreasonable.

YouOldSlag · 24/06/2012 21:46

As explained above, there are some faces which are beautiful and I love to look at, with no sexual desire or intent. Other "crushes" are people that I reckon would make brilliant BFFs or fantasy dinner guests, it's more of a hero worship.

I think "crush" is almost a pre-adolescent word and suggests a platonic hero worship, rather than a sexual desire.

I can think a woman or a dress or a "look" is stunning without feeling even a twinge of sexual desire, possibly envy of a great pair of legs etc, but not desire.

I think it's a bit knee jerk to label me or other bisexual because of this.

Krumbum · 24/06/2012 21:49

Oh ok that isn't the usual meaning of the word crush so maybe that's what is causing confusion. Crush is usually used like fancy so saying you fancy a woman would probably mean being attracted to women somewhat.
So it's just admiration? That would be a better word to use.

PfftTheMagicDraco · 24/06/2012 23:39

Vair, that's bollocks. My girl crushes aren't sexual. They are very cool women, great at what they do, whom I admire and find attractive. I don't want to have sex with them though.

NoComet · 24/06/2012 23:48

I guess Jodie Kid would be DH and my shared crush.

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 24/06/2012 23:57

Can you have a girl crush without being bi??

Someone once said to me, the difference between a girl crush and being bi, is to ask yourself if you were given the opportunity to get up close and personal, just how far would you go?

I don't know how true it is as I am bi, but the principle seems to make sense...

LucieMay · 24/06/2012 23:58

I've a million girl crushes! I've even slept with girls in my youth but I don't consider myself bi. I know tons of straight girls with celeb girl crushes, you are not being unreasonable!

everlong · 25/06/2012 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Krumbum · 25/06/2012 00:02

Luciemay why is you do not consider yourself to be bi? What do think being bisexual is?

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