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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate when people say "I don't do it when I have the kids with me..."

32 replies

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 14/07/2011 21:02

when talking about drink driving / speeding in their cars. Just because the driver doesn't have their own children in the car doesn't make it right, what about the people in the street / other cars who may get hurt in an accident?

I have heard several people say this over the past few weeks and it drives me crazy!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 14/07/2011 21:03

well they are lying (ex police officer)

ashamedandconfused · 14/07/2011 21:05

YANBU

the arrogance of some people is unbelievable, they think they are better than evryone else and above the law. they are excellent drivers and totally unaffected by alcohol. They will be ok

Till the day they aren't.........

Meglet · 14/07/2011 21:06

yanbu. I'm not sure what I would do if someone said that to me.

(I was on the verge of saying yabu as I assumed this would be about smear tests / hairdressers).

fruitshootsandheaves · 14/07/2011 21:08

This week I was walking my dogs and a police car drove past me and....I slowed down...WTF?...it's not as if I speed anyway but what was going on in my head that i slowed down whilst walking??

fruitshootsandheaves · 14/07/2011 21:08
Original poster
ElfOnTheTopShelf · 14/07/2011 21:19

I just don't get the logic of it. I think everybody has the tendancy to sometimes go over the speed limit (I did the other day, realised I was doing 35 in a 30) but I know a few people who drive like idiots but justify that its okay because they drive more sensibly when they have the children with them.

OP posts:
itsybitsy08 · 14/07/2011 21:25

I would say "oh thats fine then, at least you are only killing someones elses. Twat."

Makes me so angry. I had a stand up row with my boss because he thought he was a good driver and could therefore drive at 40+mph in built up areas so he got home quicker.

Well he wasnt going to get home any quicker on the night he mowed someone down and killed them was he.

Idiots. My grandma and grandma were nearly killed when they were wiped off the road by someone speeding. Angry

DogsBestFriend · 14/07/2011 21:29

I'm a Clarkson worshipping petrol-head so can see the joys of fast driving in the right circumstances - ie on a clear open road when the only person you can kill is yourself but drink driving... Angry

Anyone who admitted that to me would immediately cease to be a friend or would be cut out from what I considered family. Anyone I caught about to do it would be finding their car keys taken from them and/or the Police called, anyone found doing it would be reported immediately and I'd fight for the whole nine yards of legal action to be taken against them.

Original poster
ElfOnTheTopShelf · 14/07/2011 21:31

We stopped our DD doing out with some family members when we discovered they were drinking in the pub and driving.

OP posts:
itsybitsy08 · 14/07/2011 21:37

Oh yes, if someone had been drinking and got into their car, i would have no hesitation in calling the police, no matter who they were.

Meglet · 14/07/2011 21:41

My neighbour always drives on her mobile, no seatbelt, doesn't indicate. I've yelled at her and reported her to the police but they can't do anything until they catch her, although they were very nice and took all her details. Would be pretty easy to catch her as she does it every day and leaves for work about the same time Angry. I hate the bloody woman.

cheesesarnie · 14/07/2011 21:41

itsy ive called on a family member.

op yanbu.its not just the other people they might hurt but the dc(and the rest)that they might leave behind.

itsybitsy08 · 14/07/2011 21:45

Good on you cheesesarnie. I know some people may think its harsh, but having seen and experienced the devastation dangerous driving causes, i applaud you.

Original poster
ElfOnTheTopShelf · 14/07/2011 21:46

Gosh, I forgot about mobile phones, another thing I had when people are driving. I am terrible, I have been known to yell at people when I see them on their phones.

I havent driven in ages (about a year) because DH used to take the car to work, and then I got too big during my pregnancy. However, I'm on mat leave and have a new car, so I am back on the road, and remembering how much driving can be annoying! I do love to drive, but the people up your arse even though you're doing the speed limit, grrrr!

OP posts:
Meglet · 14/07/2011 22:23

I'm glad someone else yells at people on their mobiles. I only do it when they are about to drive off or at a junction though, not when moving. Fuck knows why they do it. Obviously fancy being cut out of their car or up in front of a judge.

blackeyedsusan · 14/07/2011 22:28

yanbu.

i think the answer further up about only killing someone elses child would be a good one.

takethisonehereforastart · 14/07/2011 22:42

YANBU.

And weirdly, I was thinking the same thing today because of a book I was reading (The Hidden Child by Camilla Lackberg, not a bad read but I worked out the plot too early) when the lead male character, a policeman, was thinking about how he drives more carefully and within the speed limit when his daugher was also in the car. Since the author had made a point of him being a reckless and very bad driver at other times I feld oddly provoked for all the other fictional adults and children he might kill at other times simply because his daughter was safe at home while he drove around like a manic.

So I totally agree, it makes no difference if their own children are in the car or not, if they have or cause a crash then they are still harming or killing someone elses. And they are prepared to leave their own children orphaned in the process or coping with a parent who is in prison or disabled through their own selfish acts.

SortingHardHat · 14/07/2011 23:05

YANBU I detest irresponsible drivers. You're sat in charge of a lethal weapon when are people going to drive like they know this information?

A1980 · 14/07/2011 23:21

My friend said that once. She'll speed if she doesn't have her children in the car. Nice of her.... fuck everyone elses DC's then.

The selfishness is beyond belief

A1980 · 14/07/2011 23:23

PS one of my other friends said that she wished she hadn't got an iPhone as the text facility needs two hands to use and she can't text while driving anymore. Shock

I told her she deserved to lose her licence and she looked at me as if I was crazy. She really didn't get it.

AuntiePickleBottom · 14/07/2011 23:27

yanbu, as i am drinking tonight i will not drive until saturday...just incase.

Ria28 · 15/07/2011 02:31

I'd point out that when their kid isn't in their car it doesn't mean they can't be in the car they crash into...

GiddyPickle · 15/07/2011 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugeleyoutnumbered · 15/07/2011 08:59

I am a firm believer that there should be zero tollerance on drink driving, one is too many IMO, people look for excuses when there are none, it is never ok to drink and drive, with or without children or passengers, it is utterly selfish

MsChanandlerBong · 15/07/2011 09:06

Having been clocked doing 36 in a 30 zone Blush I went on one of those speed awareness courses. I was not happy about being there, and went in with a massive chip on my shoulder, thinking I didn't need to be punished. However it completely opened my eyes to what the consequences can be of driving dangerously. I now drive in a totally different way (always within the limit, never on the phone, always paying attention, etc).

And I'd just like to point out that even if it is late at night and you are fast driving in the right circumstances - ie on a clear open road when the only person you can kill is yourself.... how the hell do you know there are no other drivers around?! Unless you are telepathic, you have no idea who is tottling along around the next bend.

I think the speed awareness courses (covering drink driving, mobile use, etc etc) should be compulsory for all drivers, and we should all go every c5 years.