DH bathing with DD's

[Chica31]

Are we being unreasonable or my narc mother?

DH gets in the bath with DD's 2.1 years and 6 months. Not every night, but often and has done since DD1 was born.

My DM thinks it is very wrong.

We live in a hot country and DD1 likes to take all her clothes off in the house when it is just us. DM skyped us the other day and went mad.

Who is right? Am I harming my children?

Of course you're not being unreasonable, OP, but I do hope you're working on controlling the amount of information your mother is given now that you've identified the Narc issue. All this detail about your everyday life is giving her ammunition, I'm afraid.

I'm just starting to realise I tell my mum too much. Maybe you need to share less with her? Or am I jumping to conclusions I'm just wondering how she knows you guys sleep nekkid. Everything I tell my mum seems to come back to haunt me and I'm realising I need better boundaries. Sad really.

Oops I'm now making this about me

x post with tortoise

Be thankful that she lives far away!! She's mad.

Agree with tortoise. If you know these things bother her, why tell her? My mum doesn't know what I wear to bed, or dh! Is that normal info to divulge.?

My dh granny gets obsessed and worked up by most things, so have learnt over the years to be selective in convos. She would post dc a get well soon card if they had a cold. International, so the illness was long since forgotten by the time the card reached us anyway.

What's narc?

Yes, it is very difficult. I have only just realised she is narcissistic and I am starting to realise that I tell her too much. It is just how our relationship has evolved over the years. I am starting to think before I speak to her, as you say it comes back to bite me later.

ErnesttheBavarian narc / narcissistic

Teaandcakeplease, no don't worry, we seem to have similar problems with our mothers!

I have no idea she knows we sleep naked. I must have told her years ago??

I am useless, she asks things I tell her.

She tells me I am wrong, I back down.

Years and years of learnt behaviour I am slowly learning I need to change before I go mad.

Plus learning that our relationship isn't healthy!

OMG! This is my mother to a T! I had no idea there was a name for it, or that other people had to deal with it too. Sorry OP, am not going to overtake your thread, am just very very grateful for you sharing on here - what you've said is so familiar No answers I'm afraid, although I've always 'sinned by omission' (not told her things) rather than face the fallout. She still has no idea my dh and I lived together before we were married...

Sorry, killed the thread

Unplug the camera or cover it over when you only want the equivalent of a phone conversation. I don't think I could cope with anyone being able to "see into my home" when they called.

Don't doubt yourself, nakey time with young DC's is fabulous and IMO encourages them to be open and confident about their and your bodies.

You yourself will start to sense when it is no longer appropriate...

Imagine your Mum is putting her words on a post it note and sticking it to you, just take them off and discard them, they are her issues and not yours.

DS was about 10 when he really became conscious of walking into a room and finding me undressed and I naturally took my cue from him.

YANBU your DM is. Of course there's nothing wrong with it. I can't remember the last time i managed to have a shower or a bath alone in the day my 3 yr old DD always hops in. My DH will shower whilst she is in there too. There's nothing wrong with it. I can remember sharing baths with my brother and sister too.

www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/

badbadmummy, this is the website that started opening my eyes to the behaviour of my mother.

Hope it helps you to start to understand too.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1247328-Oh-my-goodness-I-have-just-realised-my-mother-is-narcissistic-now-what-do-i-do

This is the thread I started a few weeks ago about my mother, hope it helps you too badbadmummy