DH bathing with DD's

[Chica31]

Are we being unreasonable or my narc mother?

DH gets in the bath with DD's 2.1 years and 6 months. Not every night, but often and has done since DD1 was born.

My DM thinks it is very wrong.

We live in a hot country and DD1 likes to take all her clothes off in the house when it is just us. DM skyped us the other day and went mad.

Who is right? Am I harming my children?

HuwEdwards I love that...I can just imagine my DM screaming at me as a kid if I did that.

We are going to visit them in a few weeks...not looking forward to the arguements. i am better at sticking up for myself and DD's. Since I have been a mum I am not putting up with her so much

Teaandcakeplease what is the book called? How has it helped?

DM suffering abuse?? Not sure, she didn't have a happy easy childhood.

www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Assertiveness/dp/0704334208/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310664026&sr=1-1 It's eye opening for me on how I handle situations with MIL and others. I can't recommend it enough. It's not like I thought it would be either when I bought it. It's not about bullying, it's an everyday approach to living. However if she really is a narc then Toxic Parents maybe a better read for you than this possibly

Do you think she would feel the same if dd were a boy ?

[hhmm] should i stop getting in the bath with my 5month+23month old boys then?

eaandcakeplease I have only in the last couple of weeks started to realise she is a narc. Following advice on here. Dh has been fab and helping me look at sites etc. We both believe she has most of the characteristics.

nokissymum, I'm not sure about that. She has issues with gender divide. Often talks in funny ways about boys penis. morning glory, weeing every where, playing with themselves.

I only have one Dsis.

Our is dd 4 and both dh and I regularly bathe and shower with her. We all walk around the house as rudie nudies too (not all the time). We want her to grow up relaxed and happy with her body. We joke that when she's older she'll always call home when she's having friends over to tell dh and I to put some bloody clothes on!

Hmm! Just have have niggling feeling your mil is perhaps disaproves of daddy being "naked" in front of dd.

I say enjoy your bath time, and stop skyping her ! Bad enough people knowing where you are every minute on mobile, now their face appears in your home as well.

It is my MUM not MIL.

Skype is the only way we communicate as live in another country. But I agree it is veru intrusive at times.

Oh sorry, "mum" of course. Yes im finding tech. increasingly intrusive.

my ds2 whos 4.7 get in the bath with me most time he loves it ,and he always takes all his clothes off to jump on the tramopline

I didnt bathe with my DS2 because I was his foster mum for 2 years. I think its sad we didnt get to do that. All the others did. I have lovely memories of being in the bath with them (even though hate tepid water!).

I think you should be very clear with your mum about WHY she thinks its wrong. She will either have to say she thinks you OH is going to abuse your kids or shut up really.

Ignore her.

YANBU, she is.

She's got ishoos.

I had a bath with my 8yo last week

I ran a bath for her that was a bit too warm and deep. So I thught I'd get in so as not to waste it. She arrives and is delighted to see me in "her" bath and gets in with me. We then have a really good laugh with DD1 who pretends she is mommy. (we make her run arund fetching us stuff while she pretends to shout at us )

Should I be worried about us?

Your mum is being way too paranoid about this.

And completely ridiculous too.

And very insulting to your DH.

Like others have said, YANBU.

I think its fab. DH showers with DD lots; she's 2.7. He told me the last time though, she was looking at his penis and then looked down at herself, so is now realizing something different and he was concerned about it, but I don't think there's a problem; certainly no mystery. DD loves being naked and spends a lot of time naked around the house, cruising out to the balcony naked too... I'm sure all the neighbours have seen her. She takes her potty out there occasionally too and happily sits naked, singing, while doing her business.

I think its just that some people think that being naked immediately triggers sexual behaviour.

I just need to ignore, ignore, ignore her more often.

She knows I don't have pj's and DH and I sleep naked...she doesn't like that either! What it has to do with her, no idea.

I need to get on with things and ignore her, but very hard being the daughter of a narc mother.

"...hard being the daughter of a narc mother."

Indeed!

God i wish i could be like you lot, it sounds lovely to be so comfortable with yourselves.

I dont agree with your Mom at all op but i would find it uncomfortable to see a naked anyone prancing about. But i recognise its completely my problem so keep my mouth shut......so should she!

You sleep naked with your husband OP?! Shocking behaviour!

You'll be telling me you have sex next!!!

I say send her a post card from a nudist colony, like this link

She has issues, not you. And having a bath with 3 people makes it a lot more environmentally friendly!

I feel sorry for her TBH - she is the one missing out on normal life with all her issues. Must have a very depressing view of the world. Try to let it wash over you, recognise it for what it is - if it gets too much, try to bat it back or end the converstation.

DH and I bath with DD- all anked obvs - imagine the shock horror on your DMs face

*Naked