to find it a tiny bit rude to be told "I'd rather have the cash, actually"?

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

when I asked a friend what if there was anything in particular he'd like for his birthday? whilst like most of us, he's not minted, I am not aware of him being in such dire straights he'd need to put the cash towards a bill or something.

I just found it a bit, i don;t know, distasteful, and am now tempted to get him some sort of figurine in protest...

YANBU. That's pretty rude.

YABU. You asked, he answered. He also obviously feels comfortable enough to give that answer.

yanbu

For me, the problem with the person asking for cash would be that it's not the cost of the present that's important but the thought behind it.

It insinuates that how much you think of them will depend on how much you'd pay.

I think I'd be a bit peeved and think it was a bit cheeky, unless it's what shakey says and you're really close and he thinks you'd understand?

YANBU that is a tasteless request, loaded with expectation. Get him a random porcelain stalk and a Bible that says 'love from Jesus' in the front cover
or (this was given to me last Christmas) a Whippet calender (I am not associated in any way with animals let alone whippets! thall teach 'im! [big grin]

i wondered that shakey - you know, whether I should be flattered that he can be very honest with me?

But I'm just not. I don't just want to dump some cash in a card that will get swallowed up by a bar bill. I think my mistake was asking in the first place instead of just buying the figurine.

Personally I'd find it refreshing. Plus I am THE worst present buyer which is probably behind the speed of my "YABU" and am relieved more than happy not to trawl the shops looking to buy something for the sake of it.

My sil has started this, and due to her buying me shit at christmas we spend no more than £5 on her present now, now she is asking for cash it is embarrassing to give her a £5 note.

Pfffff.

Whereas I agree with the reply "you asked, he answered" and so to that extent YABU, I'm afraid I find his response ill-bred.

An old-fashioned response from me, but it's how I feel, I'm afraid. No class in what he said, whatsoever.

Buy him vouchers from Monsoon. Silly sod that he is. Let him make of that what he will.

Now normally I would say YABU, esp about a figurine as I HATE these but if it's going on a bar bill?? I don't know.

I am the sort of person that prefers getting cash or a voucher, this is because I spend very little on myself and I like to once a year go shopping for clothes etc.. but TBH, a gift is a gift and as long as there is some thought behind it..

Fuck it! I'll go with YANBU!!

I think it's quite rude. Adults giving other adult friends money is a bit weird isn't it? I always thought that was more of an older-family-giving-younger-family type thing?

Ooh ooh if he literally said "I'd rather have the cash actually" you should soooo get him a Johnny Cash album :o

YANBU it is cheeky and I LOLed at "figurine"...

What did the tight cow she get you for 50p Ty?

Another 'ill-bred' type of answer on AIBU LostMyIdent.

My mind is boggling about who we've been infiltrated by this time? Some etiquette publication forum? (if such a thing exists)

sorry, ZigZag, honestly don't see what your beef is with my reply.

Manners are manners. Why is it comment-worthy to talk about somebody having good manners? Being ill-bred is a synonym for that, not saying somebody is of poor 'breeding stock' iyswim - sorry, can't think of a less 'clunky' way of putting it.

What have I done that is so wrong?

Wow - is there an etiquette forum? I think I should be told. I can go try out my prejudices there!

There is alot of ill-breeding about at the moment apparently.

Can't move for it in AIBU.

Proles.

I'm quite in ill-bred spiders

YANBU, that is a pretty strange request. If my friend asked me what I would like, I'd say something like hand cream i.e. price range 99p-£99.

Maybe everyone has been reading this Agent

Feel free to have a giggle, but I'm still none the wiser. Have I stepped on toes inadvertently here? Unless put right and informed by you two bastions of MN, likely to do it again, I'm afraid.

Puzzled'R'Us.

Bahahahahaa spiders

Well, either entering the spirit, or making the biggest arse of myself yet known... I'll kindly ask you to refer to me as Ms Lost until we've been formally introduced.

I don't do "buns". All that white flour and raisins...

YANBU
it is ill bred - meaning poor manners. I would never dream of answering that question with 'cash please!' If people ask me I usually try to think of something little like a mascara or a DVD. I'd always rather have a gift that someone has chosen for me than the cash value.