This is going to be a long one so bare with me.
My FIL lives in a 1 bedroomed over 55's gated community, due to problems with my MIL (another thread) he has my 2 BIL's living with him they are 17 + 21 they do drugs, they drink, don't work or provide a single penny to earn their keep totally scrounge of my FIL. The flat is disgusting and isn't fit for a dog to live in, FIL has been told several times that the boys need to move out as he is breaking the terms of his rental having them both there.
Now back in march FIL went to the doctors about a growth in his privates, it turned out to be cancerous, which has been treated and last week he was given the all clear. Huge relief for everyone most of all him, now me and dp asked FIL to come and live with us. We have the space and really thought this situation required action to be taken to protect his health and to get him out of the pit he lives in.
In december last year FIL took redundancy and got a 20k payout, we were having some issues regarding our housing, and about to be made homeless, FIL lent us £2500 to cover everything we needed to move into a house, ie deposit. Months rent and finalising of old bills and also to get our car fixed, we agreed we would pay him back during 2011 which would provide him with a small income each month, it is now july and he has spent all his redundancy money, all he has to show for it is a washing machine and a cooker. The rest has been spent on drugs, fags and beer and his rent which is £50 a week.
This is the problem: FIL is very depressed and cannot leave his flat for more than hour without having a panic attack, he has been signing on for the last few weeks and is in the process of applying for housing/council tax benefits, he still has the boys with him and has given them 1 months notice to find somewhere else to live (this won't happen). Yesterday he phoned my dp and said he had no food no money and is a week behind on his rent and he wants all of the money we owe him.
Now we have an agreement to pay him back monthly, I am not working at the minute as I am retraining and we barely break even each month. I totally lost my patience with him last night, iv basically told him he needs to get a grip and accept my help in sorting his dire situation out before he is made homeless. So today I have made him a doctors appointment to get ad's for his depression + anxiety, I am taking him to the job centre to sign on, then to the housing office to find out what is happening with his benefits, and then to asda to buy him food. I have refused to just hand over money when he is just going to buy fags and booze for the boys! Aibu to do this?
I have offered him so much help and all I get is oh your not related to me so I don't want to! Aibu to be really fed up of my dp taking the slack for his family?? What else can I do except from getting tough with him?!