To want to string my dog up by her ears? And maybe lock her outside the room for the evening?

[DoNotTakeMeSiriusly]

SHE KEEPS SHAGGING SHAUN!

I swear to god, all I can hear is her panting away and then the thud of shaun the sheep the footstool falling over, at which point she'll lick him to death and manage to get him back onto his feet and then she'll go for round fucking 25.

What gets me is when she finally gets a good grip on him... SHE FUCKING STARES AT ME WHILST SHE DOES IT!

She's licking him now.

I'm going to kill her.

(only in my dreams)

Forgot to say - I swear blind that all the cuddly dog toys cringe to the back of the shelf in the petshop when we come in!