In thinking interviewer was an arse?

[NearlySpring]

I went for a last minute job interview. My recruitment consultant arranged it with me over the phone for the very next morning.

She sent me a full job description the morning of the interview (I read it on the journey there). After all the details about the role, salary etc she made a point of saying "this is a very male orientated environment, be bold, they do not want a girly girl who will cry under pressure or who can't take the male office banter or that will offended by swearing. I was a little "hmm" at this- doesn't sound too professional.

Anyway, I get there, nice office, interviewer is director (small company, one office, 35 staff only 2 females- young admin girls - my role would not be admin) He got me to answer a few questions, the usual why this company, why are you leaving last job etc then said "let's hear a bit more about you" I got ready to talk about my interests as hobbies, work related events Id attended etc BUT he then asked

1. My age (it wasn't on my cv)
2. If I live in a house or flat (I answered house)
3. How many bedrooms (I said 2)

He then said "oh I live with my wife and 3 kids, do you live alone?" to which I said "no with my partner" He then continued the questions with

1. Are you planning on moving to a bigger house anytime soon?
2. Sometimes we may need you to work late or change your working days hours at short notice, are there are reasons that you wouldn't be able to do this?

He didn't ask or let me say anything about myself other than my living arrangements.

AIBU to think he was a sexist hit who realised I was in my mid twenties as was probing to find out if I had kids or was likely to inconvenience him by having a baby and taking maternity leave in the near future should he employ me.

It pissed me off actually.

Women like the one A1980 mentioned do nobody any favours. When hearing of stories like this - and, let's face it, they are not uncommon - it is perfectly understandable that employers (small ones especially) are very reticent in the hiring process with regards to employing women of a certain age. It is not unreasonable for employers to want some idea of a woman's future plans simply because it helps with the business continuity process. No more unreasonable, in fact, than wanting to know whether a bloke they are thinking of hiring might be planning to go travelling 12 months down the line.

Maurice, why do you think there're laws specifically designed to prevent employers using pregnancy as a hiring criteria? Do you think it is because generations of people thinking like you have forced women into an unconscionable choice between career and child rearing?

Peabody, you need to factor in the industry and job context. Some positions expect and reward extended working through bonuses, overtime payments, etc. Other positions pay for a fixed working week and abusive employers threaten dismissal if employees do not contribute effectively unpaid and uncompensated overtime.

In the end few people can survive without unreasonable work-life balance. Stress leads to sickness,overwork leads to unproductive work and poor teamwork. I think it is in the interests of both workers and employers to get a fair balance, including the right of employees (men and women) to spend a healthy amount of time with their families.

I know several dads who regularly need time off to look after children. But they never got asked awkward questions in job interviews.

A man is never asked how a baby will affect his career.

Take your point MrMan but dont you accept that the lady alluded to in A1980's story was sout of order? Surely there has to be some give and take on the side of both employer and employee? If women abuse the rights that have been so hard won - by going on maternity leave within months of being hired - then employers will be forced to tread with great care in the hiring process.

I think it's a bit rich to call it an 'abuse of rights' to go on maternity leave. You don't just decide to have a year off, you have to have a baby. It's not always planned. I do see some of your points, but perhaps the onus should be on the government to ensure that employers don't lose out when maternity leave is taken, rather than on women to not take the piss by getting all up the duff. If you were able to share the leave between partners like they are in sweden, it wouldn't be such an issue.

I think a lot of the stories on here are shocking (and once many years ago I remember being asked if I had plans to have kids...) but I do think there has to be a bit of consideration from the woman's side too. E.g. I am now trying to conceive. It wouldn't be a bad time for me too look to move jobs but I won't, partly because most places won't give you more than minimal benefits until you have been there for some time (often 2 yrs) and as the main breadwinner I can't afford that and because I think it would be unfair on the employer for me to get a job now, work my 3 months notice here, start there and then leave after say 6 months for mat leave. It would also be bad for my own career because I would have hardly any time to settle into the role before going on leave. I am also conscious of what my absence on mat leave could do to my current place. I am currently one of the people bringing the most money in to this office. If they were to not only miss that income but also have to keep paying me for a year, I think that would have a big effect on the finances. So I will have a shortish mat leave when it happens.

The situations people are describing on here are wrong and discriminatory but I do believe that generally women can help themselves by being considerate to employers when using their mat leave. Perhaps if everyone was considerate, mothers in the workplace wouldn't be viewed so negatively.

FWIW, I think there should be parental leave, to be split between the parents as they wish (so it could be taken simultaneously or consecutively). This would help fathers spend more time with the kids when they are little so they don't come to be seen as the mother's responsibility and the mother is the person they always cry for when ill, etc and would do a lot to help the discriminatory views that persist in many workplaces.