In thinking interviewer was an arse?

[NearlySpring]

I went for a last minute job interview. My recruitment consultant arranged it with me over the phone for the very next morning.

She sent me a full job description the morning of the interview (I read it on the journey there). After all the details about the role, salary etc she made a point of saying "this is a very male orientated environment, be bold, they do not want a girly girl who will cry under pressure or who can't take the male office banter or that will offended by swearing. I was a little "hmm" at this- doesn't sound too professional.

Anyway, I get there, nice office, interviewer is director (small company, one office, 35 staff only 2 females- young admin girls - my role would not be admin) He got me to answer a few questions, the usual why this company, why are you leaving last job etc then said "let's hear a bit more about you" I got ready to talk about my interests as hobbies, work related events Id attended etc BUT he then asked

1. My age (it wasn't on my cv)
2. If I live in a house or flat (I answered house)
3. How many bedrooms (I said 2)

He then said "oh I live with my wife and 3 kids, do you live alone?" to which I said "no with my partner" He then continued the questions with

1. Are you planning on moving to a bigger house anytime soon?
2. Sometimes we may need you to work late or change your working days hours at short notice, are there are reasons that you wouldn't be able to do this?

He didn't ask or let me say anything about myself other than my living arrangements.

AIBU to think he was a sexist hit who realised I was in my mid twenties as was probing to find out if I had kids or was likely to inconvenience him by having a baby and taking maternity leave in the near future should he employ me.

It pissed me off actually.

The company I worked for (who also had a policy not to employ unattractive females), are also regularly in the top one hundred companies and top in their industry.

bosses are prats but we will always need bosses. (apparently)

Q5 - as long as it is asked of all applicants - would be fair if it was on its own. There are many reasons why the answer why the answer might be Yes and if it is that's not the right job for you and you are not right for that job. You can't take a job like that and then expect others to cover for you.

But the others are discriminatory shit.

Glad its not just me! At least now am pg have been excused doing 3 day exhibitions in tight dress and standing on company stand in 5 inch heels FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT despite being very very senior in company. Oh god it hurt :(

Classic comment from my new employer - I will be working 4 days - he said, oh you can spend your day off cooking and cleaning and that sort of thing can't you? I just said - actually my husband does that - I will probably be at the gym or rock climbing on those days

"They are looking for the candidates who will have the least time off..totally out of order"

Right....

*catgirl - may I ask if yoyr industry is one which would make me say "Oh, that's not such a surprise" or is it one which would shock me further?

NearlySpring, the interviewer was right on the line there.

The man in my life was tearing his hair out when he employed a woman who quickly became pregnant and who over the course of the next 5 years was away from work on ML more often than she was not. Add this to the fact that £thousands was spent on training the woman and I can understand the employer's frustration.

I hate interviews when the interviewers make you so uncomfortable you just want to leave.

I went for one where the inerviewer was a dick. The role involved lots of driving. I mentioned I enjoyed driving (surely something necessary for the role) and was told that he didnt want someone wo spent their time staring out of the window when they should be working. I dont know how I could have driven safely without looking out of the windscreen....

By this point I was so pissed off with all the contradictions in the interview I challenged him and asked him what he would have said if I hated driving. His answer? 'Good point, I want someone wo doesn't enjoy it and doesn't hate it.'

This twat was the uk manager who needed me to tell him how to copy and paste a file on his computer. Completely computer illiterate for someone who was meant to be running the company. I have a first class honours degree and did not need belittling by someone like him.

Needless to sa I rang up the recruitment agency, told them how unprofessional he was throughout ad how I would rather not have a job than work for someone like him. If he treated me the way he did in the interview when he was supposed to be making a good impression, I shudder to think what he would be like to work with.

My current employers were very professional when interviewing me. Made it very clear they were they to impress me and show me why I should work for them.

dogsbestfriend I don't think it would shock you. Its pretty male dominated and known for being sexist.

Bosses get away with a lot which is not strictly legal

Nearlyspring Your recruiter was sexist and discriminatory too. What crap - a female saying this but then she is just after the recruitment fee. I used a recruiter like this and when I myself recruit I made a decision to never ever use her company again.

I really really really hate comments like A1980.

?There was a six month probation period and by the end of it she was 8 months pregnant. Do the math! Then on maternity leave, first she's coming back in 6 months, then 9, then she wants part time, then the full leave for a year then at the last possible minute she decides not to come back at all. I don't know why she left her last job to work with us for only 6 months.
?

Maybe she left because her work colleagues are awful? Maybe her work colleagues are a bit repressed ? I mean how dare her having sex and then being pregnant during her probation period. Tut, Tut. From your post I can not imagine you hiding your displeasure from her, especially as you say "we" and so on.

Maybe the place was struggling with talent because they don?t support employees.

Hell Bells, A1980 what are you going to do when a
fellow employee joins a company and then damm it goes off and gets cancer or something like that and needs long term leave?

Oh and I assume being a firm of lawyers you know full well that
in most cases all of Stat Mat Pay is reimbursed by the govt, employers have enough time to plan for pregnancy related absence. Especially if already knew it was an area of difficulty for the firm. You don't allow just one employee to carry the can for the organisation not having the talent or look ahead at succession planning.

Working for an organisation that is supportive to employees is really quite wonderful.

We've just had someone come back full time after just under 6 months mat leave, no fuss, just everyone welcoming her back and being their usually supportive friendly selves. But hey, a guy just need a month off due to a bereavement and the same company pulled together - people took on his work load - worked longer hours so he could get the support he needed.
Do the math there A1980 - you never know when you might need some support yourself.

who the hell are all these companies who only recruit attractive females?
Let me apply!!
If anyone was willing to PM me I'd be grateful but I understand if you feel it's too risky

I work in an extremely male dominated environment - there are about 10 or so female employees out of a few hundred. I'm on maternity leave at the moment, and they couldn't have been more supportive. They were wonderful while I was pregnant, even though I was running out to throw up every five minutes and was a total bitch to everyone. They were happy for me to take me full days off for scans, midwife appointments, etc. - no pressure to attend and return afterwards, and were completely understanding about when I was puking too much/too tired etc. What companies fail to realise is that as a consequence of this attitude, I never took a full day for an appointment, and only had about 3 days off during my whole (horrible) pregnancy because I couldn't manage. If they had displayed some of the attitudes described on here, I'd have bloody well taken everything I was entitled too, and I certainly wouldn't have dragged myself in on days when I had to pull the car over several times on the way to work to throw up. And if they were really struggling, I'd consider going back early, I really would. I don't think you can underestimate the value of goodwill and loyalty from employees, and you don't get that from being shitty to them during the important times in their lives.

Sadly mine do get loyalty from me. They are great in other ways.

catgirl1976 Sat 09-Jul-11 09:37:59
We are a Sunday Times Top 100 Employer though........and I am not making that up!

Speaking of these 'awards' one of the top companies in this asked on the apication form for periods of maternity leave to be listed

When there are very few women, paradoxically, they are likely to be well-supported while pg - partly because the absence of one is not likely to be an issue, there are many more who won't get pg short of a medical miracle, and partly (experience here) because men can be very sentimental about pg women!

it's when there are many that the problems begin, and just as much from female as from male managers - they both have a business to run, and having several pg at once can be a problem for a smaller business.

I think they ask a vague question about work life balance and they ask the number of male to female staff etc, but they never ask for any evidence. Its pretty easy for a company entering these awards to look anyway they want to look

Yeah, that was rubbish really. I used to work for a company that were a load of shits, and I used to let them take the complete rise, I guess I'm just loyal by nature. It's done much less grudgingly now though, and I really don't think I'd be like that again now that I've worked for a nice company. [hsmile]

andrewofgg my absence unfortuantly will be an issue which is why I will be back at work when my baby is less than 8 weeks old. I am only the second woman to get pg in the companies history but I would be more popular if I had confessed to skinning puppies in my spare time.

Andrew - I think you're right to a degree, but the industry I'm in is very male dominated, not just the company, and the last company were just really unsupportive of employees in general, eg. one guy was described as 'taking the piss' because he had a whole week off when his house burned down. And he was taking it out of his annual leave! I think the male-female ratio was about the same there, but were simply intolerant of anybody having the cheek to have a personal life.

Same with mine. A 19 year old girls dad died suddenly. She got 2 days leave.

NevermindtheNargles - Oh dear. The sort who are not sexist or racist - they just hate the entire human species, probably including themselves!

Exactly. Sometimes I think this is the motivation behind asking these questions in interviews. Rather than truly discrimination, 'are you going to have kids' really is just a predictable way you could inconvenience them. If it were practical to run through 'how old/healthy are your parents', 'do you do the lottery', 'are you particularly attached to your OH' they would.

Thanks for all the replies- it seems IANBU!

I couldn't complain to the M.D- the interviewer WAS the M.D

To those of you who mentioned recruitment, it was a role loosely linked to the recruitment industry. I called the agency that sent me and told them Exactly how unprofessional he was and she said "oh he was just trying to get to know you better". Ha!