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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think "my compensation my money i'll spend it how I choose"

45 replies

HidinginaHardHat · 07/07/2011 21:21

I'm due a fair payout from a car accident I had recently and it's due fairly soon. DP is strongly suggesting I spend the money on the house and put the remnants into savings. I'm advocating splurging on a holiday and putting some in the pot for the DC.

My argument being if I put it all into the house it will just get swallowed up on nothingness whereas if it gets splurged on a holiday at least we've had something positive and fun out of something pretty nasty.

AIBU or is DP?

OP posts:
LineRunner · 07/07/2011 21:22

To be really, really honest, I just don't care.

Original poster
HidinginaHardHat · 07/07/2011 21:23

Thanks for that. My life will forever more be enriched by your non-caring.

OP posts:
TimeWasting · 07/07/2011 21:25

What does the house need doing?

LineRunner · 07/07/2011 21:26

I like you.

I'm going to care now.

Savings for the DC. And a break for you, too. If the house is falling down, then a bit of work, unless you want a biggie like a loft conversion and then you need estimates.

AuntiePickleBottom · 07/07/2011 21:26

it really depends, if your dh has supported you while you was out of work ect... he deserve a say in the money aswell

Talker2010 · 07/07/2011 21:27

I think that you and your partner ought to decide something together

Presumably you both have your reasons ... presumably you will be able to come to a compromise

Oh, and no, I do not think that the money is just "yours"

floosiemcwoosie · 07/07/2011 21:27

depends what your financial situation is.

mumatron · 07/07/2011 21:28

I think it depends how your finances are usually split. If it's normal for it all to be split 50/50 then I think you should take on board dp's suggestions.

Would there be enough to do a bit of work on the house and a less expensive hols?

Personally I would go for the holiday Grin

Original poster
HidinginaHardHat · 07/07/2011 21:28

New carpets throughout and a lick of paint but it's not something that needs doing imminently and then the rest will be left in savings for ad hoc expenditure or a rainy day fund.

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 07/07/2011 21:28

Neither of you are U. He is atking an 'in it together, best for future' approach re house and savings, you are taking a' treasured memories, get some family joy' approach.

All depends on your financial circs and what is up with the house. Compromise is best as it shows mutual respect - imagine if he said 'it's my money' to you about something.

FWIW - I'm a holiday person EVERY time!

D0G · 07/07/2011 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squiglettsmummy2bx · 07/07/2011 21:28

Holiday!!! Life is short, as long as your house isn't falling down I'm sure that the precious memories of a holiday with your dc will mean more than some decorating/new carpet etc xxx

Original poster
HidinginaHardHat · 07/07/2011 21:29

dog why buy a parrott when I have kids?? :o

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 07/07/2011 21:29

X-post!
HOLIDAY - fuck carpets Grin

Lonnie · 07/07/2011 21:30

I think you both are.. I assume that you having been hurt also has affected him. is there a compromise to put accross I get why you want a holiday but I certainly also see why he want to use it on the house.. saving for a rainy day or kids accounts is looking at the same thing from different angles. Could you go on holiday and put money aside?

LineRunner · 07/07/2011 21:31

Take the parrot on holiday. They look good on your shoulder when you are quaffing exotic cocktails.

TimeWasting · 07/07/2011 21:31

Carpets and paint aren't a financial investment, so if it's not particularly affecting quality of life I wouldn't consider it a priority.

Would a small holiday, paint the house yourselves and put the rest in savings for rainy days/the kids be a good compromise?

D0G · 07/07/2011 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geordieminx · 07/07/2011 21:34

Go on a cruise!

D0G · 07/07/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HidinginaHardHat · 07/07/2011 21:37

timewasting that sounds like a good plan in all fairness. Although I do like the idea of going on a holiday that we'd not otherwise be able to afford but DP isn't going for that (darnit!)

D0G yes, the idea of an everlasting small person cry/whinge is really selling the notion of parrot's to me. Although big bastard beaks that chop small fingers off are appealling and worth contemplating...Hmm

OP posts:
Hatesponge · 07/07/2011 21:37

Well in a sense it is your money - it's your compensation for the pain, suffering and loss of amenity (to use the legal description!) you suffered. If you've claimed for loss of earnings, then perhaps that part of the money should go into the house - in the same way as it would if you'd earned it at the time iyswim.

Aside from that I think really you should choose how to spend it - and it's not as though you're being selfish, you're wanting to treat the whole family to a lovely holiday :)

peppapighastakenovermylife · 07/07/2011 21:39

Yes, yes to the parrot. And pirate costumes for you all.

GodricGryffindorsPointySword · 07/07/2011 21:41

Holiday and savings for the DC every time. This is found money, use it as such. I say this as the person who spent a tax rebate on a pair of diamond earrings and a pair of climbing boots, and DH didn't so much as blink.

LineRunner · 07/07/2011 21:43

But the parrot could live in the loft conversion.

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