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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have not left my details on the windscreen?

75 replies

Piggyleroux · 04/07/2011 16:33

Gah. Went to get some spuds from my local well known supermarket. Parked in a parent and child parking space. When I came out of the shop there was a car that had parked next to me but over the box on the ground so I might as well have been parked in an ordinary spot iyswim because I had barely enough room to get ds into his car seat.

Anyway, I'm trying to get him in when I bump my door and it scratches the other car on it's rear door. it left a noticeable mark about an inch square.

The car is a really high end, top of the range type thing. I googled and the prices start from around 50,000 quid . I waited for about 15 mins but it was hot and ds was getting cranky so I left. Without leaving my details.

My rationale is this - the car was parked carelessly over the grid on the floor, impinging on my space. I don't want my premiums to go up if I am honest, we are skint enough.

Aibu (probably) I took the Reg number of the car so I could contact the dvla I suppose.

OP posts:

AnyFuleKno · 04/07/2011 20:56

You get one those little pens from halfords and fill it in, or you buff it out. It's just a car.

Thruaglassdarkly · 04/07/2011 20:58

OP has owned up now Ladies. Back off her a bit please! Good for you OP:-)

AnyFuleKno · 04/07/2011 21:00

Viva also how is one car reversing into another "not a crash"

VivaLeBeaver · 04/07/2011 21:02

It was down to the metalwork. Believe me it was well past a halford pen. It may just be a car but cars are expensive and if they start rusting it spreads like anything. Why should I have a rusty car because of some ignorant twat who hasn't got the decency to take responsibility for their shit driving.

VivaLeBeaver · 04/07/2011 21:04

It was you who said it wAs a crash rather than a ding thereby implying that there's a difference. A crash to me would involve some speed. Not one car scraping past another stationary car. If I drove a car and scraped into a parked car I wouldn't say that I've been in a car crash.

AnyFuleKno · 04/07/2011 21:08

Yes..it was a crash. In the case you describe then the driver should have left details.

It's a different scenario from an accidental tiny mark from a car door flopping open onto it.

I don't thing we are diametrically opposed. If I crashed and did damage then I would do the right thing, but cars get scratched sometimes. In some multi storeys the spaces are so tight that the only way to get out is to physically make contact with the car beside you.

silverfrog · 04/07/2011 21:13

I have a (reasonably new) so-called poncey car. Costs enough for people to think "why would they care"

but I would be extremely annoyed if this had happened to me.

yes, we spent a lot of money on the car, and yes, it is just a car. but we would like to have some residual value in it when we trade in (we do so every couple of years) and dents and scrapes are not going to help that, are they?

why on earth should we bear the cost of someone else's mistake - whether to get it repaired now (as viva says, cars rust fast if scratched down to th metal) or when it is worth far less than it should be due to condition.

I find it extraordinary that so many posters are saying it is ok to not leave details when you have damaged someone else's property.

FWIW - about a year ago, we were parked in in a similar manner - dh was getting dd1 into the car, and she twisted round awkwardly as he did so - pushing the door out into the car next to us (getting her in the other side was not an option as dd2's seat was there). the door did not hit the car with any force, but did touch unfortunately - the point of our door touched the curve of the wing, and left a dent and a scrape. sheer fluke.

we left a note with all our details.

we got a call form someone fully expecting it to be the wrong number, as he could not believe that anyone would leave details. he was so happy that we had been honest, and was a very nice man, and said if it cost him under £100 he wouldn't charge us. it did, and so our honesty "paid off" in a way (obviously if we hadn't left details then we would probably never have been in line for a charge anyway, but ykwim)

I think it is sad that so many think it is ok to not take responsibility for your actions, and fine to damage others' property with impunity.

ShellyBoobs · 04/07/2011 21:20

I'm stunned that some people are saying things like, 'it's only a car' and basically saying it's no big deal to damage it.

If you bash someone's car, don't think of it as a little unsightly mark that YOU might not care about; think about the cost to the person whose possession you've damaged. What if they go to sell the car and the garage knocks £500 off their offer because of the damage?

Would you say the same about another way of causing someone to be £500 out of pocket, due to your carelessness? Just because you see it as 'only a car' doesn't mean damaging it is ok.

silverfrog · 04/07/2011 21:24

everyone saying ti is ok to not leave details - would it still be ok if it were the other way around?

if the owner of the £50k car had dented/scratched a car worth far less, but the owner did care, and was oging ot be out of pocket ot repair it?

still ok?

or would the owner of the more expensive car be a twat for not leaving details?

hellospoon · 04/07/2011 21:30

i can see both sides of this,

I pranged someones car, a tiny little bump. i did the RIGHT thing and left a note with my details (it was outside my work) the person came storming into my work place, Screaming and shouting at me that i had ruined her car and that i would have to pay etc etc.

Anyways, i tried to reasoning with her and said we could get it repaired at my expense as we know someone who could do it, but no she insisted that i should claim through insurance. She even said to me i deserved the higher premium as revenge for hitting her car!

Needless to say my insurance is now £230 a month!!

Part of me wishes i never left my details on her windscreen because for that tiny mistake and for being so honest we are really really paying for it! However i know how pissed off i would be if someone hit my car and left me to deal with it.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/07/2011 22:39

I scraped a man's car in the carpark at the gym a few years ago. I waited by the car until he came out, and 'fessed up, and we paid to have the damage repaired.

A couple of days later, he sent me a bouquet of flowers.

kbaby · 04/07/2011 22:50

You've done the right thing in going back.

Someone scrapped mine at a car park last year, he left quite a big scrape along the drivers door. I was so grateful he had left his details. When I called him and said I was surprised he had left them he said of course he would as it was him who had driven into a stationary car. You've left the ball in their court now if they feel you've damaged it enough they will contact you but they may also think that they can polish it out and not contact you. Either way you will have a clear conscious

Ilovechickenpie · 04/07/2011 22:52

Their own fault for parking so badly.

ZillionChocolate · 04/07/2011 23:21

People who damage other people's cars and don't own up are scum. Fact.

I say this as someone who scraped someone else's car a couple of months ago. I left a note. I ended up paying her about £100 and paying £140 to have my own sorted. Even a small amount of damage can be expensive to put right. I'm not willing to drive round in a damaged car so I most certainly can't expect someone else to when I was at fault.

Chocolocolate · 05/07/2011 01:32

DH and I saw someone bump another car and then drive off.

Being the busy-bodies that we are, we wrote down the details (car type/ reg number etc.) and our contact details and put it on the car that had been bumped.

The man who rang us was so grateful - he'd only just got the car.

We gave a statement to the police and the driver was made to pay.

I would always write down the details if I saw this happen - so beware

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 05/07/2011 02:24

If it is small enough to T cut and buff out, I wouldnt bother. But OTOH, dinked doors when parking is a real bug bear for me, I always make sure the doors wont bang when I get out.
A while ago, I was sitting in my car in Tesco car park, and a large 4x4 pulled into the space opposite. It was way too big for the space, and took the door out of the car parked in the next space. Were talking totally stoved in. The 4x4 pulled out, causing further damage, and two tiny frail looking old women clambered out, tottered over to look, then climbed back into the massive 4x4 and drove off! I was stunned! Thankfully, Id got their number and the driver was made to pay.

InWithTheITCrowd · 05/07/2011 07:03

I scraped my next-door neighbours car a couple of years ago. Lumbering, knackered beaten-up old passat. It was quite an old car with several bumps and scrapes, but i went and confessed, and he said he'd get some quotes. Came back to me with £500, which i laughed at, and then he said he'd got a quote for £100. I agreed to hand over the cash (although was kinda surprised he was pressing for it, considering it was not the most well-maintained vehicle.) 3 years later- scratch is still there. Bastard. He avoids me where possible, but i often think hateful things about him, and mutter darkly when our paths cross...

microfight · 05/07/2011 07:14

YABVVVU

I have had this happen to me in a supermarket and haven't been able to get it fixed due to the increase in my insurance it would cause.

chillistars · 05/07/2011 07:22

I would not leave my details, somebody did it to me and caused £3000 of damage to my car. Car park CCTV is useless, the council refused to look at it.

Rightly or wrongly, I would not. But I've never done it because I am ultra careful to avoid doing to others what was done to me.

RevoltingPeasant · 05/07/2011 07:34

Can I hijack to ask a dim new car-owner's question....? If you DO have a small spot on your paintwork that has started to rust, what can you do? - can you have that 'buffed' and is this something you can do yourself?

Tanif · 05/07/2011 16:12

TBH YANBU

In my student days when I worked at Tesco, we had an incident where two cars were about to pull into two P&C parking spaces. One was an expensive sports coupe containing a single businessman (clearly using the space to protect his car) and the other a people carrier complete with young children. The driver of the people carrier decided to give way and let the coupe park first, the coupe driver, being the arsehole he was, swung across BOTH spaces and hopped out, merrily heading for the store.
The driver of the people carrier got out, asked him to move into ONE space so that he could park.
The coupe driver refused.
The people carrier driver then went over the coupe and proceeded to scribble across the bonnet and down the side with his keys before hopping back into the people carrier and taking off. The coupe driver came rushing into the store demanding the CCTV footage. The security guard who had witnessed the incident had only one response:
"Sorry mate, it would seem you parked in the only area of the car park not covered by our cameras."

Wah wah waaaaaaaaah!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/07/2011 16:27

Has anybody linked to this yet?

pookamoo · 05/07/2011 16:35

Was it Sainsbury's?

Was the other car genuinely a car with a small child in it?

if not then they might consider themselves lucky they didn't get the £50 fine that Sainsbury's claim to impose for misuse of the p&t spaces...

Having said that, paintwork can be very expensive to fix, so the OP did the right thing in the end by leaving her mobile number. (Although if she'd gone back in the shop and had the driver paged, and they didn't have a small child with them, they might have been so embarrassed they would just let it go!)

Probably but this thread will definitely kick off over the p&t spaces part!

pookamoo · 05/07/2011 16:36

amazingbouncingferret ha ha !

fifitot · 05/07/2011 20:43

Hmmmmmmmmm there is so much bad parking around. If I was parked next to a car that was inconsiderately parked, making it near on impossible to open the door and I accidentally scraped it a bit, might think twice about leaving a note. It's a small scratch it seems. My car has loads of them because people do this kind of stuff all the time, especially in narrow car parks.

Big dent then fair enough, little scrape? Perhaps not.

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