to be a little wound up, hurt, pissed off and slightly embarrassed by HV'S letter (apologies for the very long thread)

[Blurry29]

Just to give you a little background..

DH and I have 1 DS who will turn 5 next week (eek)

He comes from a happy and stable family background. Has a solid friendship circle and does extremely well at school, although one of the youngest he is one of the brightest (teachers words not mine)

Very chatty, happy and confident. Very rarely poorly ( approx 3 days off in 5 years, I went back to work when he was 14 weeks)

Compliments always received from dentist, teachers, parents and strangers on how happy, friendly, polite and healthy he is.

He sleeps well, has great skin, no problems with toilet area, drinks plently and is generally a bright little boy

I recieved a letter on Sat from the health visitor following tests they did back in Feb. The letter stated that my DS falls into the severly overweight category.

It also stated that children that are overweight are more open to illness ( again DS is never ill) and more open to lack of confedence ( they've obiviously never met DS!!)

The letter went through all his stats etc then in a separate booklet there was areas to improve his lifgestyle:

1. Cut down on fizzt drinks: DS has NEVER (yes never) drank a fizzy drink in his life. He will only drink water or robinsons squash

1. 60 minutes activity a day: DS would be out from 8 am until bedtime if he was given the chance. He is active at school. comes home at 3pm, will be out the front by 315, playing footy, catch or riding bike. He will come in to eat tea and do homework before going back out again. He also plays footy and attends swimming once a week...how can this not be enough???

1. Eat more fruit and veg: I often receive compliments on how much fruit and veg my DS will eat a day, he gets no junk food in packed lunch but can eat a little bit of junk after school ( which DH and I are willing to address)

I could go on and on about the ''advice'' given in this booklet.

DH and I had a very long talk about this letter and both agreed that there are things we could change for the better... less junk after school and smaller portions etc but I still feel incredibly hurt that a letter can be sent out by just results on a page.

I still feel pissed off at DS being put in this group purely on figures from a HV, all the males on both sides of family are tall and broad ( not fat but stocky) and I thought DS was just taking after them.

I feel embarrassed that he is classed as severly overweight

I feel pissed off by the wording of the letter

I feel gutted, I don't want DS to be on a diet but also don't ever want him to be a victim of bullying later in life either

I feel wound up that they have almost judged DS on figures rather than it being on a personal level.

very mixed bag of emotions on this one...any advice would be greatly appreciated

OP - you need to use the NHS BMI calculator yourself with the accurate info. The calculation is rather sensitive which is why people are getting differing results. Taking this into account even if he is on the overweight side of things it's only just and certainly not "severely overweight"!

I still don't think much of BMI calculation though!

DC, and people in general for that matter, are getting much bigger. A 'normal' size child looks tiny now. Have been worrying about my DD's weight recently and must get her weighed - she is a mini giant

"Judgements about a person's weight shouldn't just be done on BMI, particularly not with children"
This is not done on BMI but BMIcentile It is comparing the weight of the child to others of the same height and birthday. In the case of the OP there will be over 90% of children who were born on the same date and have the same weight who will be lighter. The OP's DS is heavier than the majority of children who are the same height and the same age.

"there will be over 90% of children who were born on the same date and have the same weight who will be lighter"

sorry that should have been the same height

Here's the BMI tool:

www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

OP - you can opt out of these tests in the future. My DD would have been in exactly the same position and I chose not to let them weigh or measure her. She is absolutely fine, but the figures would have said otherwise, she would have wanted to know what the letter said and I am not prepared to have her stigmatised at such a young age. YANBU

Took me ages to find the leaflet.Says that you should be able to clearly see the outline of the ribcage,shoulder blades and collarbone.Their arms and legs should have clearly defined bone and muscle.

We have lost sight of what children should look like.A skinny child is actually what a healthy weight child should look like.

Get an objective opinion, take the letter and ask your GP.

Don't think of it as cutting back or putting him on a diet, leaving him hungry would be totally the wrong way to go about it. Reducing amount of 'junk' might help, don't cut it out entirely though.

Increasing the protein he eats will keep him fuller for longer, so poached egg or peanut butter on toast for breakfast, tuna, cheese, yoghurts at lunch, grilled fish or chicken, beans, tofu etc. at dinner.
It's easy to have a very carb-heavy diet if you're eating healthily as it certainly sounds you are.

Can you put more exercise into his day? Does he walk to school?

Not helped by the fact that standard clothes are getting bigger.The 5 Year Old is wearing a pair of high st shop jeans that belonged to The Tween.They are 4cms smaller on the waist than jeans out of the same shop bought this year.

My twelve year old DS weighs about 4.5 stone and is a little over 140cm. Builds can differ a lot. Does your DS have a soft tummy? A squishy bum? Fleshy thighs? If he does he's overweight.

Good point. Waist sizes are MASSIVE nowadays.

Im so used to having to put a belt on the jeans it surprised me that they fit.

the one i did -
i put the DS's age as brithday on the 8th july 2006 (he'll be 5 next week, so i thought that was a good guess)
boy
4 stones 00
4ft 00
and it asks if it's a child,too.

I knwo the OP didn't put an exact weight and height down, but "just short of" each measurement must be close enough.

Blurry - can you please try that link with the exact measurements and dates and report back what it says?
:)

OP - it can be quite hard to discern the weight status in one's own child, particularly using visual clues. This is NOT a criticism: it is simply hard because it's a challenging thing to do.

My PhD supervisor published a study about this recently. This is part of the summary (from the International Journal of Obesity). He looked at children aged 6 - 8, so near enough to the OP's child's age to be relevant.

"The body mass index (BMI) at which half the mothers classify their child as overweight was 21.3 (in the obese range for children of this age). The BMI at which half the mothers were concerned about their child becoming overweight in the future was 17.1 (below the overweight range). Waist circumference and skinfolds contributed most to mothers? responses. Although BMI and fat scores were important predictors individually, they did not contribute independently once waist circumference and skinfolds (their most visible manifestations) were included in the regression equations. Mothers were less likely to classify girls as overweight. Mothers with higher BMIs were less likely to classify their child as overweight, but were more likely to be concerned about future overweight."

Here is the link if you would like further information on the study.

To paraphrase the bit in bold, this means that mothers primarily used highly visible manifestations of body fat to adjudge their child's weight status i.e. waist and skinfold thickness. These indicators were more powerful factors in influencing decisions about overweight than the less visible factors, such as BMI.

Using the cut-offs that I use in my research (Cole et al 2000), a BMI of 17.42 kg/m2 is the threshold for overweight in 5 year old boys and a BMI of 19.3 kg/m2 is the threshold for obesity. I know that your son was measured before his 5th birthday, but the cut-offs do not change significantly between 4.5 years and 5 years (Cole et al provide data in 6 month intervals) I agree with others who say that a clinician's opinion on this is worth getting, as she or he will look at the child not just the scales.

Blurry My son aged 7 has crept up to the 92 centile for BMI and truthfully he is a bit overweight. Probably only 1 or 2 kgs. He hasn't been active enough this term for various reasons. He will be doing a lot more sport over the summer and we will cut out some of obvious problem foods. My aim is simply to hold his weight steady for a couple of months until he grows into his weight (he's already over the 91st centile for height and has gained 2cm in the last 3 months so I don't think it will take him long to get back to the right BMI).

You don't need to worry about diets for children unless they are obese just a couple of changes so their weight goes up more slowly than their height and they will be back on track in a couple of months.

OP My DS1 was in the 97th centile for height and weight (but in those days it didn't matter - he's 25 now). He was a big fat baby (EBF for six months), a big fat child and now he's a tall, powerful (but not fat) adult. He could very easily become fat so he eats properly and exercises a lot. He comes from a family of skinny minnies and stands out a mile! Just teach him good eating and exercise habits but don't make an issue of it and assume he'll make a second row forward in due course!

Hi everyone...

Many many thanks for the links and words of advise. I will take them all on board and show DH when I get the chance. I am all up for my DS having a healthy lifestyle, and am more than willling to change what I have too......

thanks x

For his age if he was 4' and 4st he would be a healthy weight but if he was 4' and 4st 1lb he would be overweight!

You know yourself if he is healthy.....go with your own instincts just now. x

I would do what people suggest on here, but dont worry TOO much they are a little sensitive these days.
However, I was a very overweight child and to this day my family insists o had a healthy diet and didnt overeat I clearly didnt so i tihnk sometimes its hard to see whats going on when you are so close to it if you see what i mean.

Do not worry too much OP. My stupid health visitor told me that my little girl was a 'little' overweight.
Yet, she is on the 25th centile!!!!
HV reckons she got her charts a little muddled

Blurry can you see his ribs?

Blurry - is your ds chubby or muscly? Looking at him objectively, would you say he was overweight?

It might be worth keeping a food diary for your ds, so you can see what he's eating over the week - it might show up if he's having a lot of sugary fruits, for example. However, it sounds like he has an active lifestyle and a good diet, and as long as the diet is well balanced (in terms of protein etc, and not too much in the way of sweet fruits), then I wouldn't worry. You could switch him to the robinsons sugar-free squash, if he's not on that already, but I assume a child would have to drink a huge amount of non sugar-free squash for it to make them overweight.

Definitely make an appointment with the HV after wrinting the answers you have set out here to every point and to go through them with her.

These bloody standard letters to standard types bloody annoy me, why not just look at the boy dgs

Hmm, that does sound quite heavy for a five year old.

My ds is 7 yr 10 months, taller than average, and weighs under 4 stone.

Don't switch him to sugar-free squash! - just give him water.

I know sugar isn't great but sweeteners are the devil's work. Vile, vile things.