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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let our kids not wear anything on the beach??

215 replies

loopymummy77 · 03/07/2011 22:07

We're lucky enough to live quite near the coast, so day-trips to the beach are quite common for us.

Today we were on one of our usual beaches, which was a bit busier than usual I think due to the warm weather. DS1 (age 6), DS2 (age 5) and DD (nearly 3) were all happily playing in their birthday suits - we usually let them decide whether or not they want swimming trunks/cossies on but quite often they opt for the nudist approach (they're the same with the paddling pool in the garden) and we've never made a big deal of it.

Anyways, after we'd been there a while, this woman comes up to DH and me and tells us we should make our kids put some clothes on. When I asked why, she said that it was because there might be paedophiles who could see them and that it was irresponsible of us to let them run around with nothing on. Her remarks made us feel so uncomfortable, we got the kids dressed and went somewhere else for the rest of the day.

Looking back, I'm now quite angry about the whole thing. I wouldn't dream of telling a parent what their kids should/shouldn't wear and how dare she call us irresponsible!! What annoys me even more is the fact we felt we had to leave as a result, as if it was us at fault! Angry.

Am I being unreasonable? We've always kept a close eye out for our kids as I think any responsible parent should do.

OP posts:
Ilythia · 04/07/2011 12:22

I would have no problem but with the state of our beach I make DD's wear knickers or tankinin bottoms at least, especially with the amount of dogshit and rubbish on our beach, I just feel that little layer will protect them shoudl they sit where they shouldn't iyswim.

In the garden or places where I know what is on the ground I let them do whatever.

wonka · 04/07/2011 12:50

At about 6 both of my older boys stopped wanting to be naked and got a bit modest dressing under towels, my 4 and 2 year old are still in the wonderfull throws of naked oblivion. Grin

exoticfruits · 04/07/2011 14:16

A 9 year old's body is not more offensive than a 4 year olds, but most people don't argue that a 9 year old should be naked on the beach.

A 9yr old wouldn't want to be naked on a beach.Leave it to them-they come naturally to wanting to cover up.

pigletmania · 04/07/2011 14:24

I certainly would not expect a 9 year old to be nekkid in public unless on a nudist beach. Yes there are differences in anatomy of a 4 year old and a preteen. They will be more developed, heading towards puberty. My friend when she was 9 started her periods and was growing breasts. Not all kids bodies will be the same, but yes generally they will probably be more developed

pigletmania · 04/07/2011 14:26

Than a preschooler

TheHumanCatapult · 04/07/2011 14:50

i agree with exotic fruits dd is just 8 and she is more aware now .Insists if at paddling pool doing the under towel changing .And yells at he rbig brothers not to come into lounge if she is changing .Infront of me or ds3 she does not care and will get changed

but 5 and 6 nope .Ds3 is almost 6 and would not care would happily walk around naked

newcommer · 04/07/2011 23:20

I understand that there is not a paedophile around every corner, but I can't help thinking that maybe going to the seaside would be their holiday choice!! I know that IABVU, but still I can't help feeling like that. I would probably always want DD to wear at least a swimsuit on the beach. I don't like seeing children run around naked on the beach, but it doesn't offend me, and I wouldn't ask anyone to make their children cover up, what they do is up to them! OP I'm sorry that the woman ruined your family day out.

BimboNo5 · 04/07/2011 23:37

Piglet why are you so agressive and nasty about a young child's innocent body? using derrogatory terms and words about something that is perfectly innocent? You seem to have some real issues there girl!

cory · 04/07/2011 23:46

fatlazymummy Mon 04-Jul-11 11:02:26
"sirzy this policeman didn't think it was a tiny risk. Some people tend to miss the point, it isn't placing your own child at risk, it is increasing the risk for other children."

Did the policeman explain how it would increase the risk for other children?

Is it actually a fact that a paedophile is not capable of abducting and raping a child unless he has had access to plenty of internet pictures first?

And if he needs such pictures, surely they can be easily found in a library anyway (medical books/childrearing books etc).

spiderslegs · 05/07/2011 00:15

Good lord.

It's the human body.

Anyone can sexualise anything.

I think modern purience is far more harmful than any imaginary men lurking in the bushes.

Leave them be - worry not.

begonyabampot · 05/07/2011 01:07

c'mon - we all need more nudity (secret hankering for some nudy beach experience) - and i'm perfectly serious!

LadySybil · 05/07/2011 01:12

If i saw any child not in nappies running around in their birthday suit, I would be extremely uncomfortable, and would end up leaving. But then, I dont frequent beaches all that often so it makes no real difference to me

begonyabampot · 05/07/2011 01:17

do people forget how nice it feels to be naked (sun damage issues aside)? It is such a lovely feeling but I was always partial to a bit of skinny dipping - so much nicer than waring swimsuits.

HelloKlitty · 05/07/2011 01:23

Bimbo Piglet said she's not disgusted by the human body but she doesn't want to see strangers bodies naked...adult or child. She's entitled to her feelings without being called "girl". You're the one with the attitude problem,

TillyIpswitch · 05/07/2011 03:00

Clearly crazy-nudity-policing-beach lady was being unreasonable, and not you, OP.

I grew up in a relaxed home, parents walked around nude when we were young and we used to run around on the lawn under the sprinkler with nothing on as kids, and jump about on the paddling pool. I've also breastfed two; still am b/feeding No. 2, so no hang-ups.

My two are only 11MO and 2YO so not something I'm thinking about just yet, but I can't imagine I'd have 5 and 6 YOs running around on the beach with absolutely nothing on. At home, outside, sure. But in public, no, don't think so. There's absolutely nothing wrong with bare chests, of course, and bare botties on small children are lovely. But beyond that, no, not in public, anyway.

pigletmania · 05/07/2011 08:52

Bimbo how am I being aggressive or nasty Hmm just beausE I would rather older children and adults cover up in public. I did not say anything if the sort that I was disgusted by the human form, I am not! I think you sound like you have issues

pigletmania · 05/07/2011 08:57

Just because I don't agee with you does not make me aggressive and nasty. Nude fine at home or private, in public, no thanks

melikalikimaka · 05/07/2011 08:59

I'm sorry but I don't like to see it either, never done it with my kids, maybe it was my upbringing to cover up.

If the woman had got a camera out and said she wanted to take pictures of your pretty children, how would you felt then?

pigletmania · 05/07/2011 09:07

I am puzzled as to what offensive words I have used to describe a Childs body, let me see: bits, anatomy, no more offensive than others on here

HelloKlitty · 05/07/2011 09:10

You didn't Piglet as you said Bimbo sounds like she's the one with issues.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 05/07/2011 09:19

my five year old prefers to be naked, and often will strip off when we get to my parents house and run around the house. I have no issues with her being naked. I don't take a lot of notice of stuff around me so the OP's children would not have bothered me.

However, I try to make sure my dd wears a bathing suit on the beach when its hot, only from a sun burning point of view iyswim.

cantspel · 05/07/2011 09:22

I dont get why people think just because you dont what your children to run around naked poeple think you have some sort of weird issues.

My children never ran around naked in the home or out of it but i dont have any problem with being naked or my sons seeing me naked if i am dressing/bathing. But as they are now teenagers we do tend to respect each others privacy rather than just crashing in the bathroom regardless of who might be using it.

I didn't want my children running about naked for several reasons but now of them were because of lurking peados or some sort of disgust at the human form.

pigletmania · 05/07/2011 09:23

Thanks Hellokitty Smile. my dd 4 runs about in the buff at home, especially in this hot weather. She has a paddling pool and is in and out of it a lot, I just put the top half if her two piece uv suit on and suncream, she hates wet bottoms and takes them off. In public I would put a one piece costume on her

Bunbaker · 05/07/2011 22:31

From a practical point of view I find covering a child up with clothes far easier than trying to cover the skin with factor 50 sun cream.

I don't have any issues with children running around in the buff BTW.

pranma · 05/07/2011 22:50

I'd leave it to the children-I think it would be a rare 7 year old who would want to be naked in public and a rare 3 year old who wouldn't.Naked children dont bother me at all-anywhere.Childhood is innocent.