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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let our kids not wear anything on the beach??

215 replies

loopymummy77 · 03/07/2011 22:07

We're lucky enough to live quite near the coast, so day-trips to the beach are quite common for us.

Today we were on one of our usual beaches, which was a bit busier than usual I think due to the warm weather. DS1 (age 6), DS2 (age 5) and DD (nearly 3) were all happily playing in their birthday suits - we usually let them decide whether or not they want swimming trunks/cossies on but quite often they opt for the nudist approach (they're the same with the paddling pool in the garden) and we've never made a big deal of it.

Anyways, after we'd been there a while, this woman comes up to DH and me and tells us we should make our kids put some clothes on. When I asked why, she said that it was because there might be paedophiles who could see them and that it was irresponsible of us to let them run around with nothing on. Her remarks made us feel so uncomfortable, we got the kids dressed and went somewhere else for the rest of the day.

Looking back, I'm now quite angry about the whole thing. I wouldn't dream of telling a parent what their kids should/shouldn't wear and how dare she call us irresponsible!! What annoys me even more is the fact we felt we had to leave as a result, as if it was us at fault! Angry.

Am I being unreasonable? We've always kept a close eye out for our kids as I think any responsible parent should do.

OP posts:
BimboNo5 · 03/07/2011 23:21

I always thought 'private parts' were all about not allowing people to touch them, see them if you DONT WANT them to- not insisting kids must keep them covered at all times. And please dont lecture me on safeguarding as I know plenty about the subject thanks, being naked is nothing to do with child abuse.

seeker · 03/07/2011 23:21

I donlt think I have actually ever seen an anus older that about 2.5!

seeker · 03/07/2011 23:23

Can't decide which is worse - "private parts" or "bits". Each equally hideous in its own special way.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/07/2011 23:23

I didn't say being dressed improved their safety Bimbo. I said that we spend time educating children that their bodies are private. A message that might be a little conflicting with the idea that it's OK to be naked on a public beach.

kickingking · 03/07/2011 23:24

I agree about it being a bit of safeguarding. I tell mine that bottoms and willies are private. I have encouraged him to wash his own willy in the bath from as early as he was able to 'because there's no need for Mummy to do it'. I hope this will enforce the understanding that other people do not have the right to see or touch private parts.

He does streak about the house sometimes though Grin

MillyR · 03/07/2011 23:24

I agree with BN5. Children whose parents take them to actual nudist beaches still presumably teach their children about not touching and so on. I don't think nudity is the issue.

But I can also see the point others have made that at a certain age children should abide by convention to an extent, and take into account the feelings of others who wish to see certain conventions abided by. I just think 5/6 might be a little young for this particular convention.

BimboNo5 · 03/07/2011 23:25

I dont educate my kids that their bodies are private, I educate them their bodies are theirs to do what they wish and what they are comfortable with and that nobody else has the right to see it/touch it if they do not want them to.
Hell this obviously means they will be streakers at public events with no sense of modesty/decorum.

slartybartfast · 03/07/2011 23:26

i think its better to cover up on the beach - whatever the age, sand, pebbles, crabs [ouch] and sharp shells

BimboNo5 · 03/07/2011 23:28

I wonder how many naked kids (or adults) have ended up with injuries due to the fact they were naked rather than generally standing on a piece of sharp stone/glass/slipping on some rocks etc etc? More hysteria over something where no hysteria needs to exist.

slartybartfast · 03/07/2011 23:31

we also wear shoes

HansieMom · 03/07/2011 23:32

Maybe my thinking comes from age or country (grandmother in U.S.) but I think 'put some clothes on those kids'!

My five GC are aged 2 to 7, and I'm comfortable with saying their parents would not let their kids go naked on a beach.

LauraIngallsWilder · 03/07/2011 23:33

Am I the only one who has noticed that the OP hasnt posted on MN before (well at least not as loopymummy77) and yet her first post is all about nudity on the beach

And she hasnt returned to the thread - but has been able to watch everyone talk endlessly about naked kids............................

worraliberty · 03/07/2011 23:34

I'm still feeling sorry for poor Worra's son getting an arse in his face!

I can tell you he ate everything except his jammy dodger Sad

Grin
glassescase · 03/07/2011 23:35

Not keen on nudie kids myself, over the age of about two. A pair of cotton pants seems a good idea, not as hot or constricting as bathers, but protects from sun and sand.

seeker · 03/07/2011 23:37

Oh come on Bimbo - surely you are aware of the protective qualities of lycra?

No lycra - sit on sharp stone=serious bottom injury.
Lycra - sit on broken glass =not a mark on them.

Thruaglassdarkly · 03/07/2011 23:45

My 6 yo has just had some lessons in school which dealt with "Staying Safe", and included a section on private parts and not letting others touch them etc. I think she would feel massively uncomfortable anyway being naked in front of everyone - she doesn't even like wearing her skirts too short in case people see her knickers. My 3 yo will get her kit off at the drop of a hat though. Would still probably put pants on her on a beach though. It's up to you what you do with your kids OP, take her words with a pinch of salt. The woman was out of line perhaps, but she obviously thought she was giving you advice and was trying to be helpful rather than censorious? Was she an older lady by any chance?

exoticfruits · 03/07/2011 23:49

I bet she wasn't an older lady-they didn't used to fuss!

MillyR · 03/07/2011 23:55

I agree that primary schools generally do a talk on touching, but I doubt any primary school would do a talk on keeping private body parts covered up, because that would give lots of children who live in houses where nudity is normal the impression that they were being abused. Asides from which, kids will see strangers naked in communal changing rooms and showers, and, if under 8, will see and be seen by strangers of the opposite sex in such situations.

FabbyChic · 04/07/2011 00:11

It is no longer socially acceptable to have nude children on the beach, sorry but peado's take pictures of kids on the beach to use in private to wank over, do you really want to give them something to wank over? i.e your children.

exoticfruits · 04/07/2011 00:24

I am not going to curtail my freedom and become a victim FabbyChic-that is his problem-not mine.To avoid it I would have to keep my DCs under a burka on the beach! Is a DC in trunks or swimming costume going tomake much difference?

PadmeHum · 04/07/2011 00:47

Your kids should be covered - nothing at all to do with modesty, more to do with sun protection.

As they say in Australia - tanning is your skin cells in trauma.

PadmeHum · 04/07/2011 00:49

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12970061

Interesting link about skin cancer in the UK

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 04/07/2011 00:51

I think YANBU, at all. I grew up by the coast and spent most of my childhood starkers on a beach, and I certainly was never abused by any paedophiles. Let them be children FGS.

BimboNo5 · 04/07/2011 05:55

Trust fabbychic to arrive with a big ass dose of utter bullshit. I have yet to see paedos sat knocking one out whilst children play on the beach Hmm

differentnameforthis · 04/07/2011 06:12

I keep mine as covered as possible, but that is because I am worried about exposure to the sun (we are in Australian) and I have little faith in sunblock.