to charge my brother rent?

[JobCarHouseNoBaby]

Ok I am prepared for all opinions....be honest but not too blunt, please!

So here's the background: DP & I bought our house last summer. Have lived together for 5yrs. I am marriage & baby-obsessed (see other posts), but timing is not right. We both work lots (out 7am-7pm) and are barely at home.

Current situation: Little brother of mine has just finished uni in Essex (we live in Hampshire) and has failed. Not even passed with a third. Parents are going nuts having funded his 4yr degree and let him live with them rent free for the duration. He is at a loss and doesn't know what to do. I suggested he find a job, ANY job, and quick, so he doesn't have to sit at home with no cash and be patronised by my recently-redundant mother.

He has been offered a job interview in a town 10 miles from my house (i.e. he would have to stay with me - he couldn't commute from Essex). I don't mind him staying, neither does DP, but have found out that under the Government's 'rent a room' scheme we can charge lodgers up to £340 a month with no tax liabilities.

I feel a bit cheeky charging this much as I know his contribution to the bills will only come to about £200. But at the same time I think he needs to learn some real world lessons (having lived rent free his entire life).

What would you charge a family member? If anything at all - AIBU to think of charging him rent or 'housekeeping'?

YANBU we charge my brother £340 per month and he buys some of his own food.

Perfectly acceptable, and to be honest vital if you are to not feel put out and it affect your relationship with him.

Give him the choice. He doesn't need to take it.

Time to ressurrect this thread... little bro has now found a job in the same town as me and will be moving in to stay with us for 'a few months' until he finds his feet and saves up enough money to go into a house share.

I have worked out with him today, that after all his outgoings (debt, bills, etc) he will have £250/mth to give to us for rent. He will also be putting £250/mth into savings so he has a deposit for his house share.

So my updated question is really, how do you set up the 'ground rules' with a family member lodger?

Whatever you do, get a deposit; that is the best guarantee of his good behaviour. He needs to pay it, too, not your parents: it needs to be money that he needs and he wants back.

I did this with my sister,as I wasn't expecting the additional income I used to buy something new where needed each month for my house.
I would ask for 200 per month and then either a contribution to food and alcohol or he get's his own.
A cleaning schedule is vital or get a cleaner and he pays a 3rd of the cost.
It is time that realised that nothing is free

Sit down and be clear early on what is /isn't acceptable. Friends / girl friends staying over, parties, cleaning , cooking, washing machine access, hot water use, internet use, consuming food/ alcohol from the fridge. Your need for couple time.
It will get old very quickly if your brother and DP regress to being teenagers and sit playing xbox all day as mayhem descends. Good luck

Charge him, he needs to live in the real world. And imho £1200 a month after deductions is not a small sum!

you def need ground rules from the start, and sit down and discuss what's acceptable or not. i had my DB staying with me after his relationship ended, and he had been made redundant so was out of work at the time. i didnt ask him for any rent since he was only on jobseekers, but wish to god i'd laid out some ground rules. he didnt lift a finger the whole 6 months he stayed, monopolized the sofa and my tv, so i'd frequently come home to arguments about who gets to watch what (still to this day have no idea how this happened in my own home!), and by the time he left we'd pretty much fallen out. it's only the fact i had started seeing DH a few month before, and could escape to his house that prevented me from killing "D"B. i'd originally thought i was doing him a favour not being too hard on him, given his run of bad luck. i was wrong, and he took advantage. dont let it happen to you

Make clear a cleaning rota! And establish food rules - you buy your own or you split the grocery bill fairly. Make it understood who needs the bathroom and what times of a morning, make it clear if you object to randoms being brought home.

Oh, and your "rules" - for example, if you have dinner in the evening and immediately wash and clean up make sure he knows you expect him to do the same.

If you open windows after showers and wipe down the unit with the tears of a unicorn everyday make sure he knows and does the same - him doing small things like using the tears of an ordinary horse will drive you mental (trust me, I've a lodger!).

Oh, and establish a "pot" for communal things like bog roll.

Suggest you get your 250 pounds first, THEN he pays his outgoings.

Your brother sounds like a right waster. 4 years funded through University, nothing to show for it but credit card debts? You should leave him to the real world, let Jim get a room in a shared house at market rent and tell him he should thank his lucky stars that (a) he found a job despite his dismal showing in his degree (how on earth must that make the jobless graduates who actually studied at Uni feel?) and (b) that your parents are not making him pay them back every penny. You are being very mean to your mother in calling her patronising when she has given him way more than he deserves. Don't you, who have clearly worked very hard for what you have, feel even a little bit put out at how jammy he has been?

Rinkan I must admit when I posted this thread originally (jul) he was a bit high and mighty. But he found a job and pulled his socks up and sorted himself out. He was managing fine, until they made him redundant in January. He has this week only just found a job and it is now he'll be moving in with us, AFTER cutting the apron strings last year.

This thread is not about whether we should let him stay here, it's about how we go about doing it.

I have had a different path in life myself but I'm not one for kicking a dog when he's down, especially when he's immediate family.

We both agree it'll be a temporary arrangement (up to 4 mths max) I just don't know how to set things up from day one so we can avoid arguments.

I think you need to think about what you want - is he cooking/shoppingand cleaning for himself or are you going to take turns to cook for each other.
What about his visitors - are you happy for him to have friends round, and if you are, where will they go - you don't want to be kicked out of your own living room while he entertains. Also what about overnight guests?
THen there are things like sorting out bathroom and laundry rotas and all the little practical things.

Given that he's your brother, you should be able to be pretty straightforward with him about ground rules, unlike some of my house sharing experiences with very touchy girls!

I'd suggest you make a written agreement that he'll keep his room in good clean order (hoovered once a week, no mouldering cups etc), does a rota for communal area cleaning, and as he's a lodger not an equal-rights house sharer, always checks with you before having having mates round. Three major strikes and he's out.

He also needs to understand that house sharing means being civil, no teenage-style moodiness that makes you feel like his mother not his sister (and landlord)!

Hope it works out well, it's a good sign that he's putting so much money into savings straight away.

What about charging him X amount per week for the room, then add 1/3 of the cost of water rates, gas, electric etc ...