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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to just want someone to say congratulation

74 replies

biddysmama · 29/06/2011 22:41

i'm 9 weeks pregnant.. i have a 9 month old baby, a 27 month old toddler and a 9 year old with aspergers... so far ive had

"you'll probably lose it anyway with thm being so close together" that gem was from my mum
"how will you cope"
"you need to stop breastfeeding" (i tandem the 2 littlies)
"if you dont stop bf you will lose the baby"
"do you think you will cope"
"do you not think it would be better for you not to have a baby yet?"
"you better get toddler into nursery"

im pretty hormonal atm, just want someone to say something positive, im starting to dread telling people :(

OP posts:

munkiii · 29/06/2011 23:03

Congratulations

Pandemoniaa · 29/06/2011 23:05

Congratulations! If you are happy that's all that matters. But agree with GibberingGinger about people forgetting that this third dc isn't going to be born tomorrow. So by the time you have your next baby, the 9 month old will be 16 months old and the 27 month old will be very nearly three years old. Which isn't exactly a shock, horror situation is it?

Flisspaps · 29/06/2011 23:06

Congratulations. It's quite shocking that these people believe the utter shite they're spouting as well.

Pandemoniaa · 29/06/2011 23:06

Sorry, that should read fourth dc!

NorksAreMessy · 29/06/2011 23:06

Woooohoooo biddy way to go, girl.

Sorry you are getting negative comments I suspect people are supposed to be corncerned for you, but really, think before you speak friends and family of biddy!

maras2 · 29/06/2011 23:06

As long as you're happy then Mazel Tov .

PamBeesly · 29/06/2011 23:07

Congratulations biddysmama! A little baby on the way :) Never mind the horrific comments, how terribly overbearing, hurtful and mean spirited....

How you cope with early pregnancy and hormonal emotions with 3 other nippers I'll never know...some of you ladies really are superwoman

Fifis25StottieCakes · 29/06/2011 23:14

Congratulations

As the mother of 3 dd's i have heard it all

Im pregnant

Ooh it might be a boy
3rd time lucky

After 20 week scan

AARREE what a shame
Maybe next time
You must be gutted
Are you trying again

NotJustKangaskhan · 29/06/2011 23:15

Congratulations!!

I've had similar reactions to my DC4. We told my in-laws, my step-fil responded with "Whyyyy?" Now they pretty much don't talk about it all, beyond asking me how I'm feeling in general, unlike with the others . The only person who has been really happy for us is my husband's grandmother who had 4 herself (I haven't told my side, other than my grandfather they've all been unsupporting since my first).

lollystix · 29/06/2011 23:18

Queenmaeve speaks wise words. Fuck em' all and huge congratulations. If you're pleased that's what counts. I'm 23 weeks with ds4- bit unplanned but happy now. When he arrives ds1 will be just 5, ds2 just 3 and ds3 will he 18 months. I've had it all from work colleagues and family. My stock response now is 'yes i am up the duff again, no I'm not technically mad as this one wasn't planned, yes i do have a working telly, yes it is another boy and yes dh is going for the snip'. It gets very boring doesn't it.

BettySuarez · 29/06/2011 23:23

Congratulations from the Suarez household. We bloody LOVE babies and I don't think they are all too close together AT ALL. Not that you should care one jot if I did.

Such lovely news, I feel really excited for you and a teensy bit jealous :)

It's amazing how many miserable feckers there are in the world eh?

I hope you have a really lovely pregnancy.

What a lovely family :) :) :)

Sparklies · 29/06/2011 23:30

Congratulations!!

That is horrible, I feel for you. We have three (4 and under) and haven't completely ruled out number four yet. DC3 is barely 2 months and already my mum and the inlaws have been telling us that three is enough. So it's already started..

It's nobody's business but your own and good for you!! You'll do just fine.

statueofliberty · 29/06/2011 23:39

Congratulations,look after yourself. Very envious,we had to stop at two.fantastic news,well done.

fedupofnamechanging · 29/06/2011 23:50

Many congratulations

I had a 16 month gap between DS2 and DS3. DS1 was 4 year old. Everything worked out fine. When DS3 was 6 we had DD. Have heard all the comments about having a big family, but I wouldn't change a thing. My DC are so close and happy. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - it's not their family and not their business.

TheLadyHare · 30/06/2011 00:29

Congratulations biddysmama!

You are sooooo lucky! I don't have children, it just didn't work out for me. Please don't let other people's negative comments cloud your happiness, enjoy your pregnancy!

Thruaglassdarkly · 30/06/2011 00:36

Congrats!!!! I breastfed my DD1 all through my pregnancy with DD2, then afterwards tandem fed them, giving DD 2 the lion's share. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!!! :)

startail · 30/06/2011 00:50

Congratulations!
and a big "if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything" to the people who passed comment.

LauLauLemon · 30/06/2011 00:56

Fuck the lot of them. You'll be a fab mum just like ypu are to your others! Congratulations :D.

nappyaddict · 30/06/2011 00:59

PacificDogwood Out if interest how did you find the 12 month age gap? Was it hard or would you recommend it?

Big Congratualtions biddysmama I'm very jealous as I would love another right now but the timings just not right at the moment.

latenightmum · 30/06/2011 01:12

I have similar close gaps and sod everyone else if you're happy that's all that matters.

I would just keep an eye on middle child. At 2 years 3 months you're about to re-enter the sensitive terrible two's. Independence v. feeding balance. Doesn't matter what others say but they'll be your biggest challenge. As they are trying to establish themselves change is a foot :0)

LolaRennt · 30/06/2011 01:21

Congrats

Original poster

biddysmama · 30/06/2011 07:44

how did we find time for sex? we got married lol dont usually bother with it but you kind of have to on your wedding night, honeymoon baby :)

OP posts:

NorksAkimbo · 30/06/2011 07:50

Congratulations to you!! You will love having two so close together...mine are 15 months apart, and they absolutely adore one another.

Don't listen to all the stupid comments...they will all be loved and cherished by you, those are the most important things.

PacificDogwood · 30/06/2011 08:03

@ honeymoon baby - I always think that is lovely

nappyaddict, the 1 year (AND 10 days, mind! ) gap was hard and I often wondered whether twins would have been easier or harder (2 babies at the same developmental stage give or take, rather than one running-away-todder + babe in arms IYKWIM). DH as almost no memories of DS2's first year due to sleep deprivation and shellshock.
They are now 8 and 7 and it is All Good. In fact from about 3 and 2 they were great buddies to each other, have played (and fought!) a lot together and are just a good match.
DS3 and 4 are exactly 2 years apart (according to my mother a "normal" gap ) and they have been much harder work tbh.
The 4 year gap was just easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy

In conclusion, short gaps are good in the long run but hard work. Longer gaps, easier, but siblings on a less equal footing.
We are now distinctly a family of two halves, 'big boys' and 'littlies'.
'Tis all good .

PinotsEvilTwin · 30/06/2011 09:46

Congratulations! I had 3 in 3 years -just ignore them and snuggle your babies!

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