To think that my mum should get rid of her cats as DS is allergic to them and can't visit her

[numsmetter]

DS (3) is allergic to cats, he can't be in a house where one lives without his face & eyes swelling up. My mum has 2 cats so we can't visit her and I don't like the idea of giving him antihistamine medication so we can visit (DH takes them for hayfever and they make him quite drowsy).

DD goes to stay at her Grandma's house but DS will never get the chance unless she gets rid of her cats. I've asked her whether she would be prepared to and she says perhaps but that she wouldn't be able to find anyone to have them, I get the feeling she doesn't really want to as she is quite happy with things the way they are.

I respect her wishes but can't help feeling sad that DS is going to have no memories of going to visit his Grandma, AIBU?

[Lunabelly]

No, of course serious anaphylactic allergies won't be. But many allergies can and are controlled with a dose of meds.

IF any of us were serious allergy sufferers in our house, then the cats would obviously have to be rehomed - but the fact that the OP mentions antihistamines leads one to believe that her DS doesn't suffer from anaphylaxis.

I got the cats despite my allergies because we were overrun with mice (all the houses on our side were) and you simply cannot have poisonous baits + toddler, and the mice weren't having it anyway. I weighed up pros and cons, NOT curing by homespun desensitisation programme, but by asking myself what was worse - bulgy eyes, snot, itchy throat and mouth, asthma etc that could be relieved with inhalers / sprays / antihistamines or being overrun with vermin, excreting everywhere they scampered.

14 years later (and a few cat line-up changes), my cat allergy is vastly improved (unless one of them uses my face as a cushion), and I am glad I took that chance. Similarly, DD3's hdm allergy has disappeared...had we followed the hospitals advice of freezing toys, laminating everything etc, I think she would still be having flare-ups whenever entering a non-allergenic zone. I took the advice of a person who had extensive experience dealing with multiple allergies, and was NOT being dismissive. Everybody knows that there are varying degrees of allergy - but if it IS an allergy that can be controlled, then to my mind, speaking as a scabby, wheezy itchy woman (with my eye swelling right now ), I would rather dose myself up and carry on with my life.

[Kvetch]

Can anyone tell me please, as knittedbeast indicates, whether allergy to cats DOES automatically lead eventually to asthma? Or is it something which CAN do so?

No hidden agenda, just curious and wanting to be more knowledgable.

[Kvetch]

And apologies for the dreadful grammar. Been on MN best part of the day, it's too darn hot to do anything else!

[Lunabelly]

As a child, I would have asthma attacks just from being in the same room as a cat, as a teenager from being in the same room as someone who had cat dander on their clothes...but didn't get regular asthma until I hit thirty. For me it was a given that I would get asthma though, as mum and siblings have it.

[Omigawd]

I also eagerly await the demands that all little friends' mums get rid of their pets before the PDS can go and play.

[bruffin]

DH never ended up with asthema from having cats. As I said above he is allergic to a few animals but as long as he washes his hands before touching his face he is usually fine.
The only time I have seen him have a bad reaction was to my sister's cats, but he has long hair. He had cats from a baby until he was in his 20s.

DS has nut and seed allergies and when he had his last tests at 12. He had a sinus problems as well. The consultant decided to test him for guinea pig (we have gps) and cat as we were going into next door to feed the cat that week, although wasn't showing any signs of being allergic to it and hadn't really reacted to my sisters cats, however there was one house he went to where he suffered a bit, yet others with lots of cats has been no problem.

The gp one came back negative and the cat test came back positive, I suspect he is allergic to dogs as well.
It was only this year now DS is 15 that we decided to get a rescue cat. We thought about it long and hard and for reasons I won't go into felt that cat would be good for us now. We made sure we had a short hair. The only reaction that DH has had to her is a small rash on his hand when she licks him. She is a very licky cat.
She loves DS the most and sleeps with him if she is allowed and he thankfully has shown no reaction to her either.

[Kvetch]

Thanl you for that bruffin. :)

[FairPhyllis]

I am a bit surprised at some of the reactions to the OP. I don't think it said anywhere how bad her DS's allergy is, so it could be pretty bad. My mum is severely allergic to cats (to the point of struggling to breathe sometimes, even though she is not asthmatic) and the only medication that has any effect on her has to be prescribed and she has to take it several days in advance of when she knows she will have contact with cats, never touch them, and keep washing her hands all the time. It is absolutely no fun whatsoever for her to visit anyone with cats, so I have decided that I will not get a cat until after she dies (even though I absolutely love them), as I want her to be able to enjoy visiting me. She was really devastated when her brother got a cat, as it meant that visiting him regularly and looking after his children, as she used to do, became such a production that she just couldn't keep doing it anymore.

So I think that the OP is not BU to feel sad about the fact it means the grandchildren are treated differently, or to wish that her mum would consider rehoming the cats. It is very difficult not to be able to visit a close family member's home, much more difficult than not being able to go to a friend's home. But the cats probably won't be rehomed. The OP's best hope is that when the cats die, her mum has a think about how this has affected her relationship with her grandson and decides not to get any more.

[Morloth]

YABU, either get some non-drowsy antihistamine or accept that it is just the way it is.

If they were your cats in your house where your DS has to live it would be different, but your Mum shouldn't have to change her household arrangements to suit you.

I have a cat, neither of my kids are allergic, people who are either don't visit us or they take an antihistamine.

[knittedbreast]

we tried giving him antihistamines and of course he had inhalors and it made no difference. He would still go all red hot and blotchy, his face would swell, he wouldnt stop coughing, then would have trouble breathing saying his insides hurt to breathe. that coming from a little boy of that age was heart breaking.
he fell asleep afterwards and the doc got worried, saying after that they shouldnt be allowed to sleep.

The doctor, health visitors all told me that cat allergies (i dont know about pollen etc) can and do lead to asthma, full on asthma. they gave me a load of litriture and it said the same.

Those that are saying desensitisation, well ok but you are leaving the child more and more exposed and what if aftwe x time it isnt working? thats all that time the child has been exposed and its increasing the risk.

Seeing how unwell it made him, i was willing to kill the bloody cat.

Dont wait around, either get rid of it or dont go round. you dont want to have to explain to your child you cant do sport because you have asthma, why? oh nanny loved the cat too much and i thought youd be alright.

[upplrcrazy]

numsmetter, I'm with you! Let's be honest these people that are all pro-cat are obviously a bunch of derranged cat ladies, that probably never had children or if they did they weren't very loving mothers. I have a very similar situation and a child with similar allergy to cats and the anthistamine's HAVE NOT WORKED. My situation only differs because my crazy mother got a cat when she's never had one before despite the fact that she knew my son was allergic. She also has a dog and a gigantic salt water aquarium. . .really didn't need another pet and frankly, our relationship is not in a good place because of all of this. We also live extremely close, about 5 minutes from her house and we would visit her house several times a week and my children would also sleepover. There is something to be said for sleepover's with Grandma, some of my fondest memories were sleepovers at my own Grandmothers, I wouldn't trade them for the world. I know you're original posting was months ago but I just had to weigh in and let you know, you're not alone. Maybe these cats hypnotize people and that's why all these people are defending them and their allergy prone dander to the depths of the earth!

[SucksToBeMe]

Very good point noHunIntended had never thought of it like that before.

[MrsUnassumingTroll]

Please note this is a thread from JUNE.

[coccyx]

Maybe your mum is trying to tell you somethinguppircrazy

[shinybootsofleather]

I understand your worries but having seen the sheer number of adult cats that are put down in shelters, I do not blame your mum for refusing to let them go until she has somewhere they can live. Humans treat pets pretty shittily sometimes and your mum sounds like someone who actually cares for her cats' welfare rather than seeing them as an inconvenience.

Your son could try some non-drowsy histamines surely?

[AnotherEmptyNest]

Couldn't the carpets be replaced permanently by wooden flooring and the cats go to a shelter for a couple of days just for a sleepover?

[CheshireDing]

As MUT says this is from June

[EvilVampireFrog]

Even the non-drowsy antihistamines make some people drowsy (me, for example). It depends on the severity of the allergy. I have an aunt that I cannot visit due to her massive number of furry
Creatures. Symptoms are yes, itchy eyes, but also wheezing and coughing, hives on face and any exposed skin, a general feeling of unwellness and a strong desire to get the hell out of there! As s child, of course, visiting was not optional and I remember the awful feeling well. Especially the time we stayed for a month.

[ByTheSea]

I haven't read all the other posts so it's probably already been mentioned, but we have a cat and DH is allergic. We have a HEPA air purifier and he doesn't even notice we have a cat. Have you considered getting your mum one of these?

[ByTheSea]

Just want to add that DH also has asthma.

[MrsUnassumingTroll]

This thread is from June.

This thread is from JUNE.

This thread is from JUNE.

[ByTheSea]

Oops, should have noticed that.

[HildaOgden]

Why do people bump old threads like this?

Op,have Grandma visit your house for a sleepover.Simples.