To think that my mum should get rid of her cats as DS is allergic to them and can't visit her

[numsmetter]

DS (3) is allergic to cats, he can't be in a house where one lives without his face & eyes swelling up. My mum has 2 cats so we can't visit her and I don't like the idea of giving him antihistamine medication so we can visit (DH takes them for hayfever and they make him quite drowsy).

DD goes to stay at her Grandma's house but DS will never get the chance unless she gets rid of her cats. I've asked her whether she would be prepared to and she says perhaps but that she wouldn't be able to find anyone to have them, I get the feeling she doesn't really want to as she is quite happy with things the way they are.

I respect her wishes but can't help feeling sad that DS is going to have no memories of going to visit his Grandma, AIBU?

[naturalbaby]

i have 2 cats and plenty of allergic adults come to visit, knowing they are there so i can see the heartache from both sides.

as much as i'm sure your ds is precious to your mum i don't see how you can ask her to get rid of them so your ds can go visit every now and then/regularly. if your ds had to live in her house then maybe she should get rid of them.

[Blu]

YABVU. And precious.

Give him Piriton half an hour before you go. You could use the Opticom Eye drops too. It is very effective.

Your Ds will be denied all sorts of important experiences if you refuse to give him a harmless, effective anti-histamine. Are you going to suggest that every person who invites him to a party, or to play, or to a sleepover, slaughters thier cats? Or just keep him at home with you and leave him out of these situations?

You know there is no toxic overdose of anti-histamine?

My DS and i are v allergic to cats and i do inwardly roll my eyes every time a friend or relative gets another cat, but we just take anti-histamine and get on with it.

[Kvetch]

"Kvetch - fuck off"

Now that's not very nice is it, numsmetter dearie?

Though I do admit that it's what I'd tell anyone who asked/suggested/wanted me to get rid of my pets.

[Blu]

The 'non drowsy' anti-histamoines have to be taken every day - they aren't effective as a one-off dose, but they work v well.

[ILoveYouToo]

YABVVU.

"gets rid of her cats" Your phrasing makes you sound like such a pleasant person. Or not. You are talking about her companion animals, whom she presumably loves, as if they are a disposable inconvenience.

[Omigawd]

Get rid of DS, get one that likes cats. Much simpler. You can usually find others at "Baby Changing" places at supermarkets, and in soft play sheds, just take one of the others :o

Alternatively, meet elsewhere, take antihistamines and wait until DS grows out of cat allergy.

[lachesis]

YABU.

[daimbardiva]

I realise it's an unsatisfactory situation, but I do think you're being unreasonable expecting that your mum gets rid of her cats. They're her pets, and they're obviously important to her. It might be different if your mum lived some distance away from you and the only way of your son having a relationship with her was to stay with her, but since she is close by this isn't the case. Also your son's allergy is obviously quite severe so his granny's house won't be the only place he'll not be able to go, so he will become accustomed to having to plan aorund it.

We have a similar-ish situation. My parents can't visit our house because of our dog. It's not ideal, but we all just have to live with it, and really in the grand scheme of things it's not that important.

[Kvetch]

[BalloonSlayer]

My DS has never felt drowsy from Piriton.

I was told by the allergy specialist that even if you get rid of cats and hoover every day, the fur/dander stays in the carpets and furniture for a year.

In your position I'd probably discreetly knock your DD's overnight visits on the head and find daytime things to do with your mum. She won't be with you forever, you know.

[AmberLeaf]

YABU

Get some non drowsy antihistamines, they are not crack based they are prefectly safe for children to take

[3littlefrogs]

I think some posters are a bit harsh TBH. When he was 4, Ds1 nearly died from a massive asthma attack in a friends house due to his cat allergy. He was dosed up on antihistamines before we set foot in the door - antihistamines are not miracle drugs and don't work 100% for everyone all the time. It depends how allergic the child is.

Of course the grandmother loves her cats, but it isn't as simple as saying dose the child up with antihistamines.

It is a very hard situation, and I think the answer is to accept that they will have to see each other away from the grandmother's home.

[Ephiny]

YABU. Animals are not things to 'get rid of' when they become inconvenient.

[ILoveYouToo]

I'm waiting to be told to fuck off too now Kvetch. The OP is a real charmer, isn't she? If I was her mother I'd be looking to get another cat or two to minimise how often my selfish daughter visited.

[Kvetch]

Piriton used to make me fall asleep wherever I stopped, BalloonSlayer, so clearly it does affect some people BUT there are several effective alternatives available, one of which is keeping me hayfever free and awake right now.

[superjobeespecs]

had to laugh at crack based anti histamines

[faintpositive]

yab a bit u.

MIL has a dog, her only relative...her sister has a severe allergy to dogs, personally i HATE dogs and refuse to be in the same house as one, BUT would never ever ask her to get rid of the thing, neither would her sister.

I dont go to the house, not been for years, and auntie goes occasionally but suffers for days afterwards.
MIL loves it, and understands (i think) why neither of us go to the house.

But then, when there are nice cafes that sell lovely buns, its better to meet there instead! (No dog hairs hanging from the cup and the stinking thing hanging round barking and jumping up and slathering all over us, so always a plus)

[LauLauLemon]

YABVU.

I agree with Kvetch.

[numsmetter]

merlincat - thanks, I'll try that. Dh takes one everyday throughout teh summer for hayfever and they make him feel rotten and he hasn't managed to find one that works well either which is why I was hesitant about trying them

[Kvetch]

:o ILoveYouToo.

It was an interesting invitation, being invited to fuck off, but I'm quite happy here as it happens and I seem to be in the majority opinion group too.

[CairyHunt]

YABU - The cats are your mums pets.

Get over yourself

[Kvetch]

Asda own brand. Non drowsy. About 99p a box. They work.

i'm not fucking off, I'll be back in a moment.

[BalloonSlayer]

Oh yes Kvetch it has the same effect on me, feel dreadful. But I wondered whether it didn't affect kids so badly.

Although he has always had Piriton liquid and I see merlincat says that it is non-drowsy.

Whether it is or not, I wouldn't care if something made me drowsy if I didn't have anything important to actually do (ie if I was 3).