To think that my mum should get rid of her cats as DS is allergic to them and can't visit her

[numsmetter]

DS (3) is allergic to cats, he can't be in a house where one lives without his face & eyes swelling up. My mum has 2 cats so we can't visit her and I don't like the idea of giving him antihistamine medication so we can visit (DH takes them for hayfever and they make him quite drowsy).

DD goes to stay at her Grandma's house but DS will never get the chance unless she gets rid of her cats. I've asked her whether she would be prepared to and she says perhaps but that she wouldn't be able to find anyone to have them, I get the feeling she doesn't really want to as she is quite happy with things the way they are.

I respect her wishes but can't help feeling sad that DS is going to have no memories of going to visit his Grandma, AIBU?

[Chandon]

yabu, give him some zirtec

[Kvetch]

spook, regardless of what the OP's mother is capable of, it was the OP who invited comment on a public forum. She didn't like the response and threw her toys out of the pram.

[CeliaFate]

Yabu, my son is allergic to dogs. I give him loratidine before we go to my sister's house and he's fine. The pros of him being able to visit his grandmother outweigh the cons of giving him medication before every visit.

[Kvetch]

Dooin, it wouldn't be the Devil Dog who DH is allergic to by any chance?

[DooinMeCleanin]

Probably. Or ibs cat. It's definitely not the whipy one, naturally . Either way, they're staying. He can go if he is that ill

[WinterSnow]

YANBU

We were in a similar situation, my DS could't visit his grandma's house because he is allergic to her cats, she re homed them as she wanted her grandson to be able to visit and stay with her.

We also had to get our own cats re homed, our son's health comes first I'm afraid

[ThisIsJustASagaNow]

Another Yabu. As she lives nearby they'll still see each other often. No way would I be happy if that had been suggested to me.

I also think it'd be a good idea to try different medication.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

It has been documented that keeping babies/infants away from cats and dogs etc may be the cause of many children being allergic to household pets Lorenz.

We're not talking a life-threatening allergy here, and there's absolutely no need for the op's dm or her beloved pet to suffer because the op is unreasonable.

[LetThereBeRock]

YABVVU. It's a living being,and one that means a lot to your mother I presume.It's not an ornament that one can pass on when one gets tired of it.

And cats can and often do become attached to particular people. My 14 year old cat whom I've had since he was two weeks old certainly wouldn't be content if he was given to a new owner.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Yes but WinterSnow that was presumably her choice? Did you actually ask her to 'get rid of' her cats?

I have to say, if it were my own DCs, I'd probably think about rehoming - but no way in hell would I ever ask anyone else to get rid of their pets, no matter who they were. It's beyond cheeky. I am trying to imagine being in a similar situation from the DGM's point of view, and I have to think I'd respond in the same way OP did to Kvetch!!

[joogle]

I don't think you are being unreasonable but I guess it's about priorities for her. I'm a Grandmother and would re home my cat is any of my grandchildren were allergic to the point they couldn't stay with me.

I must say I'm quite shocked that some parents would keep their cats even if their own child was allergic to them, allergic reactions are horrible and living with an allergy is difficult enough without your parents refusing to do the one thing that would ease it.

[BaronSamedi]

YANBU to be a bit sad, but yes unreasonable to ask.

Could you not take it in your own hands? Didn't Rolf Harris used to often list things that were deadly for cats on Animal Hospital? I remember thinking it was bloody amazing that any of them ever survived at all. Nobody would ever have to know if there was an accident, and it would take your DM out of being in a difficult situation.

[DarlingDuck]

My daughter has an allergy to any kind of animal hair, my parents re homed their cat as DD has such a severe reaction to them, it was awful and their was no question about keeping them after that so IMO YANBU to think she should consider it but it is her decision at the end of the day.

Does she live alone?

[DooinMeCleanin]

Yeah very clever Baron. Lets not rehome it, lets just murder it

[Kvetch]

But joogle, that's just not accurate. Getting rid of the pet is NOT "the one thing that would ease it." The alternative to abandoning the family pets is to medicate and de-sensitise the child, as many many people on here have explained.

[KristineKochanski]

zukiecat Mon 27-Jun-11 16:34:39

I have three cats and I wouldn't rehome them if any of my own children were allergic.

Wow at that bit. Can't believe somebody actually cares more about their cats than their own children!
Unless you suffer from cat allergy you have absolutely no idea what it's like. It's not just a case of 'dose the kid up on antihistamine before going round.' They have to be taken regularly to have an effect, they don't just act as a one off.
OP, you could be me as I am in exactly the same situation. My MIL (kids grandma) has 2 cats and is always saying we should go round more, but she doesn't even bother putting them into a different room when we come round, Even though ds who was 5yrs old had eyes that were literally closing up in front of her, just turned into big weeping slits he was terrified as he couldn't even see and the swelling didn't go down properly for about 3 days afterwards.
She'd just say 'oh it must be something else. It's not the cat.' Erm, yes it's your bloody cat!!! Complete denial.
I have 2 little children and they both stay at nanna and grandad's (my mum and dad's) overnight every now and again and she's always saying how 'oh you never come stay over at mine. You don't want to come here.'
How do you say 'we keep telling you it's because of your cats you daft bint!' without coming across as rude?!
We'd love to stay over or at least visit more but can't.

[DooinMeCleanin]

I suffer from cat allergy. I have a cat. I would not rehome him if my children inherited my allergy. I also have asthma, sometimes exacerbated by the cat. I still would not rehome him.

[knittedbreast]

hi i had the same thing. only we pressed on with it and he ended up having a nasty asthma attack. the docs said we should never go back to the house (hard as we were living there) and offered to write a referal letter to to ss.

In the end she got rid of the cat, its the saliva they lick themselves with that causes it.
Im sorry but the cat needs to go, dont let your son go through what i did. if they are around cats long enough they have asthma attacks (and thats with cat banned zones, open windows, hoovering, and anti cat stuff), eventually that can lead to full on asthma, which means no running around etc...

your child comes before a cat,

[Kvetch]

I wouldn't rehome my cats either.

zukiecat, it's just attention seeking. Whenever animals are discussed on here there's very often one charmer who will advocate killing the creature. You just have to feel sorry for these people.

[DooinMeCleanin]

Yes I do realise how uncomfortable it can be, since I also am allergic to cats. I also realise that it can medicated for and children can be desensitised over time with repeated exposure.

[Andrewofgg]

People are murdered.

Animals are killed.

DooinMeCleanin please note the difference.