To think that my mum should get rid of her cats as DS is allergic to them and can't visit her

[numsmetter]

DS (3) is allergic to cats, he can't be in a house where one lives without his face & eyes swelling up. My mum has 2 cats so we can't visit her and I don't like the idea of giving him antihistamine medication so we can visit (DH takes them for hayfever and they make him quite drowsy).

DD goes to stay at her Grandma's house but DS will never get the chance unless she gets rid of her cats. I've asked her whether she would be prepared to and she says perhaps but that she wouldn't be able to find anyone to have them, I get the feeling she doesn't really want to as she is quite happy with things the way they are.

I respect her wishes but can't help feeling sad that DS is going to have no memories of going to visit his Grandma, AIBU?

[ilovesooty]

I am appalled that anyone would put a pet before a darling grandchild

It's not as if keeping her cats and seeing her "darling grandchild" are incompatible with one another. She only lives 10 minutes away.

[catgirl1976]

I wouldnt get rid of my cats. I am alergic to them. I take anti-histamines everyday and I deal with it. If my child is allergic they will need to take anti-histamines every day to manage thier symptoms. A lot of people have animals - you can't live your life avoiding people with pets or limiting your life like that. The OP should get some non-drowsy anti-histamines for her DS so he can visit his Grandmother and his friends who have pets.

[Kvetch]

I didn't shout. I make no apologies for being rude. I tend to react with sarcasm and rudeness when people advocate cruel acts towards animals.

Odd, that.

[Omigawd]

IMO this is quite manipulative and inconsiderate of the OP, especially as there are so many alternatives.

Animals are companions to people and have been shown to incraese happines, mental health etc. One also wonders what DM is supposed to do the other 95% of her time when DD and DGC are not around?

[Blurry29]

I'm not anti animals or anti cats before anyone starts

if it was a choice between GS or Cats there would be no contest

GS 1 - 0 Cats

just IMHO :)

[Lunabelly]

YABU.

I have a huge cat allergy - sometimes my eyes swell up so badly the whites bulge around the iris, nou noum noum. It's a really sexy look.

I've still got three cats though. (Had to as our old flat was infested with mice)

If someone is never exposed to allergens, they will never develop tolerance or antibodies or whatever it is they are called, which could cause huge problems in later life. I used to have huge asthma attacks just being in the same room as someone who had held a cat, but my mobile mouser units have desensitised me quite well. I have to take Piriton syrup and an asthma inhaler anyway , for hayfever.

A pal of mine had a DC who was allergic to everything - but even she advised against de-allergenising the house when DD3 was diagnosed with housedustmite allergy; Pal said if you do that then DD will NEVER build up immunity and come a cropper whenever she ventured outside the house. (DDs hdm allergy has now gone)

Even the anaphylaxis nut people reckon minute amounts actually help allergies, although you can google that!

Piriton has always been non-drowsy for us (crikey, I wish it WOULD make me drowsy then I might get to sleep without a panic attack first) indeed, DD3 was prescribed huge amounts of it in hospital, it never knocked her out, it was the morphine that did that

I honestly DO know the misery of allergies, I have lived with them all my bloody life, can't go anywhere without my inhaler, piriton and nasal decongestant spray, and my triggers can change on a daily basis - but verily I tell thee this -your mum's cats will maybe actually help your DS in the long run, by desensitising him against those things you or he cannot control.

Although some drugs are evil, Piriton is so safe it can be taken in pregnancy (or so the emergency doctor said when I was having an allergy attack all over his NHSdirect line :) )

[COCKadoodledooo]

OFGS op yes, YABridiculouslyU. Especially ivo the fact you say she's 10 minutes away. Hardly like it's depriving him of a relationship with his grandma is it?

My gran had cats. My uncle was allergic. He took antihistamines and ventolin when he visited (and indeed when he lived there). Where's the problem?

[catgirl1976]

When you take on a animal you have a responsibility to it - never mind the fact that most people actually love thier animals and consider them part of the family. I have HORRENDOUS allergies - but I still have my cats and my horses. Yes I have to medicate everyday - no thats not a problem. Yes it can even with medication get a bit uncomfortable but thats life sometimes.

A child can be medicated and he may well grow out of his allergies anyway. I think exposure is likely good for him in small doses too

[DarlingDuck]

zukiecat - A cat is a carnivore, and would die without meat in its diet

I knew a family who had a vegetarian cat so no it won't die, it would be as un natural as say, giving your child antihistamies daily, but no they won't die

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I love all the people saying get her to hoover, etc etc. I'll tell that to my MIL who has been hospitalised many times due to her allergy to cats and what it does to her asthma. One time, when DH was little it nearly killed her. She's 65 and as bad as ever. Still, as long as the cat's ok...

Agree with Blurry. Humans vs cats there is no contest.

[Kvetch]

Duck, a cat is an OBLIGATE carnivore. This fact is backed by research and the Director of Veterinary Services for Cats Protection.

But that's by the by. The OP seems to have left, anyway, despite suggestions of varying medications which she could give her son.

[GreenEyesandHam]

Anyone who would seriously put their pets before the health and well being of their own children needs their head read. Disgusting.

If anyone truly feels like that I would hope they would decide to stick to animals and leave the child rearing to others.

[catgirl1976]

You obvioulsy haven't met my cats. They are FAR nicer than most children I meet.

[DarlingDuck]

Some absolute nutters on this thread, I'm .... it would actually be funny if it weren't so tragic.

Wonder if the cats are as loyal? I'm sure a nice warm bed & good food would be enough for it to live happily anywhere and as for the cat putting it's feeder before it's own offspring.........

[Lorenz]

That's the funny thing DarlingDuck, cats have no loyalty to ANYONE, as long as they're warm and fed they'll live with anyone. They don't give a shit about their owners at all. Can't understand why people are so obsessed with them. You'd get more loyalty out of a bloody budgie.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Humans vs cats there is no contest

But it is not a zero-sum game!!!!! Argh.

Look, the GM has a relationship with her DGS and with her cats. In the current situation, she can see her DGS:

a. at the OP's house
b. at relatives' houses
c. at the park/ softplay/ cinema etc etc etc etc

In the current circs, she can babysit for him overnight (at his parents'), see him regularly, have fun with him...

If she gets rid of the cats, she can see her DGS at ONE more place. She can see her cats....

nowhere!

So given that it will (presumably) cause her heart-ache and some diminution of quality of life, the OP is being mega unreasonable to suggest it. The DGS does not live in the GPs' house. Therefore the situation is easily avoided.

Jesus.

[RevoltingPeasant]

And I don't even like cats! But I do have a bit of empathy.

[catgirl1976]

And the OP could give the child some nice non-drowsy anti-histamines so the poor thing can see his other friends he is currently prevented from seeing and not be labelled as "the boy with the allergies" to boot AND hopefully have the chance to become desensitised to his allergies and not grow up to be someone who can't date women who own cats

[LetThereBeRock]

Not true in my experience,Lorenz,and I've owned many cats,and been brought up in a family that rescued and raised kittens and strays. But then I don't care if my pets are loyal or not,that's not what being a pet owner is about. I enjoy having them around,and that's been equally true of the lizards I used to own as it is of my cat and my dog.

[LetThereBeRock]

And as Revolting said the cats are not preventing the grandparents from seeing their grandson,there are plenty of places where they can see him,just not in their home if the OP isn't willing to give her ds anti-histamines. This is not a cat which lives in the OP's home.

[KristineKochanski]

GreenEyesandHam Mon 27-Jun-11 18:31:18

Anyone who would seriously put their pets before the health and well being of their own children needs their head read. Disgusting.
If anyone truly feels like that I would hope they would decide to stick to animals and leave the child rearing to others.

Everything what Green eggs said here.

[KristineKochanski]

Green eggs? That'll teach me to post without proof-reading! Too much Dr Seuss reading here

[GreenEyesandHam]

My comments were concerning those who said they would put their animals before the health of their own children.

I actually agree the OP is BU

[GreenEyesandHam]

Kristine