what would your partner/husband say?

[M0naLisa]

If you said to him

'Quit your day job and go on nights so I can keep my job and I'll get you up at 1.45pm everyday so you can look after our child so I can carry on working then when I get at 7pm you can get ready for work?'

I'd say 'can we talk about this properly please?'

Seems to me there would be no time together. Id say it be a marriage killer

If it was absolutely necessary, he'd say yes.

Seems like a recipe for disaster. You'll never see each other and you'll both be knackered.

DH wouldn't cope with working nights but I do it!

Used to work weekend nights when the ds's were pre-school now work in the week and sleep while the ds's are at school. I do the drop off and pick up. Works for us

5 1/4 hrs of sleep per night maximum and probably much less. You gotta do what you gotta do but this would be really hard.

He'd tell me to f**k off. He can't do his job nights and we'd never see each other.

don't think either of us could work nights. would be hard going.

He'd say no to not having enough sleep every day. It's unreasonable to get up that early.

OK!! Bit of story!

Sister and bf split up in september last year, they got back together in early march. In the meantime sister got a part time job of 13.5hours per week. BF moved back in with her, for a while mum was childcare for nephew(17mths)
She went back to work in May after been on sick 19 weeks with bad back. (Mum found it hard carrying/holding DN) but to keep peace with sister kept on the childcare.

She has a friend look after DN during week but as DN is demanding and cries from 2pm-7pm whilst sis friend has him she feels drained so has told her she can't have him no more. Plus her mum is recovering from breast cancer.

Sister has now told BIL that he has to quit his day job and get a nights job. So he can be woken mon-fri at 1.45 before she goes to work to 7pm when she gets in, then he will have an hour before setting off to work. He bikes to work 5miles away currently, he has asked management about 2 nights jobs that are vacant but been told they are reserved for polish.

She has since told him to get a warehouse job on nights cos she isn't quitting.

I have advised her to up her hours if possible at work to 16 so she can get childcare paid at 70% but she point blank refuses to even ask to up her hours another 2.5 hours.

DP does nights. 1.45pm is way too early to be waking up, and he usually sleeps as soon as he gets home in the mornings. More like 4pm or 6ish some days.

Also he'd tell me to fuck off for telling him what to do rather than having a proper discussion, laying all possible options on the table, like a reasonable person

WELL IT WOULDN'T GO LIKE THAT you see its a partnership and we both do what we have to do to get the food and keep the roof.

so - if he said to me - 'OI you quit your job and go on nights....etc'

i'd tell him to kiss my arse until he said down and had the right attitude or id kick his balls so far up his arse he would taste his own cheese.

if however he said ' mrs custy, we're in a pickle - the only solution i see is you working nights, i need to keep my job becuase of the pension/ the pernamant nature/ location whatever the reason' i would sayu
' of course i see your point mr custy, and it is certainly something i will look into as i will also look for other roles whih might make our predicament a little easier

now pour the wine mr custy and lets have rampant sex

If he got a job at current place of work its 9.30pm - 6.30am BUT in august it change to 8pm-7am as mum works at same place on nights.

he'd not enjoy being told what to do rather than us discussing it, but i don't think either of us would be keen. we'd never see each other and doesn't sound like he'd get much sleep.

She is BU not to ask for the extra 2.5 hours. But this is academic anyway, she's not likely to read this, is she? So what is the purpose of this thread?

Well, I wouldn't tell anyone else they had to work nights or survive on the amount of sleep I get by on.

I know I can cope and I have done it for 8 years but alot of people don't cope with nights or minimal sleep and it has to be the individuals choice. It was my choice to do nights, dh wouldn't have suggested it and he has always worried about the effect the nights have.

Your Sister is being unreasonable(I know you didn't ask) it's not her decision to make.

Why is the shift so long? Does that include travelling time?

8am to 1.45pm is just under 6 hours' sleep, it's not sustainable long term.

Sister is a cleaner at a high school 10miles away so she starts at 3pm she leaves at 1.45ish so she can pick her mate up and they finish at 5.45 - gets home between 6pm and 7pm.

I have gave her details of a job on weekends at asda cleaning sat/sun 7am to 2pm. Sat mornings isn't a prob as nights is Sun-thurs.

Sister is a cleaner at a high school 10miles away so she starts at 3pm she leaves at 1.45ish so she can pick her mate up and they finish at 5.45 - gets home between 6pm and 7pm.

I have gave her details of a job on weekends at asda cleaning sat/sun 7am to 2pm. Sat mornings isn't a prob as nights is Sun-thurs.

He 'd say it is unreasonable because we are not struggling much. But if we did i know he would do it. We have discussed it and his parents have done it. Our neighbours are doing it (he left his job and became taxi driver to save on childcare).

It must be tiring and not ideal but it makes sense financially.

But please tell me you didn't say it like this, did you?