or is my sil?

[biddysmama]

she text me asking what size shoes dd is cos shes seen some little converse and was gunna buy them for her, dd is 27 months

i replied with "6 but its a lot of money to spend on trainers and tbh she doesnt wear trainers, she likes girly shoes :) "

the reply i got was "ungrateful cow, they arent fucking trainers, they are converse"

i actually thought my reply was ok and didnt want her wasting her money on something that wouldnt be used

It's you sil's cash to waste though isn't it? Very squashing to be told things you like aren't worth it.

Oh come on. It's not rocket science and it has fuck all to do with trainers.

If someone offers you something and you don't say 'no thank you', then you sound ungrateful.

Converse do make trainers, but if they are as i suspect [as they are the most popular] converse high tops [plimpsoll boots] they are not trainers!

YAB a bit U. I would have left out the but about her not wearing trainers and just said "it's a lovely idea but are you sure you want to spend so much on shoes when her feet are growing so fast?" . There was no need for her to swear though.

For those who think 27 months is too young to show a preference, my DD is 25 months and has definite preferences with her clothes and shoes. And it's often not worth a fight to make her wear something else.

They're not trainers, you wouldn't want to run in them.

They're sneakers. For emm, sneaking.

I think you should have just accepted them anyway. Children that age can and do very suddenly change their mind. I was shocked when my girly girl suddenly wanted to wear the converse that were sitting next to her girly shoes. If you had left them out she may have decided she liked them. Are you sure it's not you who doesn't like her in shoes like that? She would probably have got pink anyway.

Must mention though that converse are a bugger to get on little kids!

Her reply sounds a bit mental. Do you think she meant it how it sounds?

I think YA Both BU a bit. SIL wanted to do a nice thing but went about it in quite a high handed way. You wanted to prevent her wasting her money, but told her in an ungraceful way. SILs reply could have been grumpy or light-hearted. Only way to find out and smooth any ruffled feathers is to talk to her on phone/in person.

As for young children not having a preference, when DD was about 20 months I got so fed up of picking her hats up every 2m that I took her to the shop and let her choose her own. Which then stayed on her head with no problems. She had VERY strong views on what she was prepared to wear, and at that age you can't explain that "I know these aren't the pinkest shoes, but the pinkest shoes don't fit and will make your feet hurt so we can't buy them", which I can just about do now she's over 4.

I would have just let her buy them and ensured that she presented them to your dd. She would have seen the honest response from the lo and might have taken them back herself. It's no skin off your nose, op.

Converse aren't trainers. There is no cushioning in them. They are sneakers.

My niece has the most girly and adorable converse.
As an aside it really makes my teeth itch when people say "converses", it isn't correcty is it? or am I the thick one?

Agreed, not a trainer, they are sneakers, fashion footwear.

What kind of shoe does a 2-ish wear if not little trainers? I heard they are best for childrens growing feet.

Your ungrateful, but she shouldn't have been that rude. My DD is 2.6 and lives in her converse, they're perfect for an active little toddler, and she cany take them off every five seconds. -d be thrillied if anyone offered a gift of shoes, they're blooming pricey, girly or not!

Converse can be worn with skirts and dresses too, they are can be girly, my littleun has gorgeous pink ones and she is convinced she is a princess so if she wears them then i would say most girly girls would too!

your text back to her was a bit rude tbh, you could have just said something along the lines of "awk no she has loads of shoes thanks anyway though x" so i dont really blame her for the text you got, and i swear a lot too but not in texts unless im really really angry so it hink you really have pissed her right of with your rudeness.

Converses is a form of the verb. E.g. X convereses regularly with Y. It's rather formal.

Conversation is the noun.

YANBU on the grounds that Converse are horrible!

But I think you could have worded your reply better-"thanks for the thought but I wouldn´t let her she wouldn´t wear them" type thing.

Why is it ungrateful?

Would it be better to accept & not use them?

yanbu you were trying to save her money. Would it be the same replies here if it were another brand or denim on a newborn? I feel your sil is quite immature from her reply.

biddysmam, your DD is 2 years and 3 months, is that right? Because if she is, then saying she's a girly girl is quite strange IMO. You want her to be a girly girl, SIL can buy what she chooses for her. And the only reason she wears 'girly' clothes all the time is that's what you put on her.

Perhaps SIL is wondering what your DD wears to go the park or play outside in if she has nothing to wear with Converse, as I am

And the same to the others who let their very small DC chosse what they are going to wear. You perhaps have more cash to splash than me...my 2 year old wear the 4 year olds hand me downs, if she 'refused' to put them on, she'd be naked. If you genuinely struggle that much to get DC to do as their asked at 2, I wish you luck in a few years time.

is no-one else shocked by SIL's text back? What kind of person is she to text that? Weird.

"is no-one else shocked by SIL's text back?"

TBH I think that it´s six of one & half a dozen of the other.

OP seems horrified at the idea of Converse & SIL seems equally horrified that someone wouldn´t want them.

I guess it's the faceless world of text messaging but I would be disgusted if my SIL text me back in such a vile way. It's obvious the mum doesn't want/like them and it's not like the SIL has just turned up with a sticker book that cost £2. OK ... she should have said thanks but no thanks but to send a text reply like she did would suggest the SIL is a very angry or unreasonable person ... who doesn't have kids I guess?

She was presumably going to get some little pink ones which are very girly and look sweet.

You do sound a little ungrateful and your sil sounds rather rude.

I wish someone had bought my daughter converse. TBH I think your SIL was being kind and generous, even if they weren't to your exact taste.

jugglingmug I usually offer my DD (25 months) a choice of 2 things to wear. But if she sees something in the drawer that she'd rather wear, it's very hard to put anything else on her. In her case, she has two or three favourite items that she'll always choose if she sees them.

I don't want to be always telling her no, so as long as it's within reason, I'll let her wear what she chooses. Pick your fights and all that. That doesn't mean that she always gets her way and will turn into a spoiled brat who never does anything I say in a few years time.