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Original poster

Mumsnet Jury - computer in bedroom at 4?

102 replies

MarioandLuigi · 24/06/2011 07:32

DS2 who has ASD loves the computer. He likes to play a couple of games and watch youtube videos. Its his obsession and he gets alot of comfort out of it. I want to get him one for his bedroom so he doesnt always hog the family computer and so he can use it when he wakes up early in the morning.

I didnt let DS1 get a computer in his room til he was 8 and he wanted to use it for his homework and his animation stuff.

AIBU? I dont think I am but something feels a bit wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarioandLuigi · 24/06/2011 13:00

We have tried blackout blinds, medication, he doesnt get down til 10pm anyway and any later and he would be awake after me. I have tried weighted blankets, music, light shows, twinkly stars, putting him back everytime he gets up.

OP posts:
MorelliOrRanger · 24/06/2011 13:03

Fairydoll - preschoolers don't need their own PC.

*sigh - no wonder kids these days have no concept of how much things cost.

Blatherskite · 24/06/2011 13:29

I think if it helps you get some extra sleep and allows you to function then go for it Op.

Get him a cheap PC, put it in his room and install a child protection program on it. We use Kiddesktop for our 4 year old DS. He has his own log on to the family PC (ours are password protected so he can't get in) and his log on opens straight into Kiddesktop. With it, we can preset what he is allowed to see and the sites come up as icons on his desktop. He loves LEGO and we've created links to some safe YouTube videos of LEGO things for him to watch, along with links to some safe music videos he likes, the Cbeebies website and the LEGO website and programs like Paint - but that is all he can see. If he clicks on a link that we haven't OK-ed, it just reloads the safe page so there is no way he could go from a LEGO YouTube video to anything dodgy, it just won't load it. We even have it locked down so that it won't load the printing pages so that he can't use up all the paper and ink printing out colouring pages from Cbeebies :)

And, you can set a timer. DS's is on 20 minutes so that once he's been on for that length of time, it logs him off automatically.

It's super easy to use, all they have to do is click on the big icons (for which you can set pictures so it's obvious what's what) and lets me feel safe that DS can't see anything I don't want him too - you could sleep soundly knowing your DS was playing safely too. All he needs to be able to do is press the power button on the PC, if it's just hs machine, you don't even have to have him click on his log on, it could go straight in and then he'd see all of his icons.

It costs less than £10 to download and is well worth it I think.

fuzzpigFriday · 24/06/2011 13:34

I wouldn't get any computer for a 4yo... However I possibly would if m

fuzzpigFriday · 24/06/2011 13:37

Oh FFS my finger keeps slipping today Hmm

Anyway - possibly would get a young child their own PC IF and only if money were really no object. However not in their room, no way, same with tv. It's just too isolating, and I don't like screens in bedrooms (we don't have any in our room either)

We have one laptop, which DCs can use in the same room as us. Our house is tiny anyway, but when we get a bigger place we will probably have a family desktop PC.

knittedbreast · 24/06/2011 13:38

4 year olds should be phsyically playing not sitting in front of a screen. why not just get a tv for him while you are there.

fuzzpigFriday · 24/06/2011 13:39

Like the sound of that kiddesktop thingy will have a look thanks :)

DialMforMummy · 24/06/2011 13:39

I am sorry he has trouble sleeping but I would not buy a 4 years old a computer. I agree totally with Morelli.

LaWeasel · 24/06/2011 13:39

As it happens I had a computer of my own at 5.

My dad have an office at home, and every out of date computer just got handed down the family, so it was a 4th hand windows 3.0...

I wouldn't mind if DD had similar at that age.

It took a long time to boot, you could only do a very small number of things with it, eg paint, word, basic games. So it wasn't that entertaining for huge amounts of time, and obviously there was no internet.

I like blatherskates ideas about a modern age appropriate version of my really old computer!

thegruffalosma · 24/06/2011 13:43

I would allow it - without internet access. There are some vile videos on youtube that are adult versions of kids shows and stuff so your son could click on something quite innocently and be upset by it. I only let dd watch stuff I've checked first and I've seen Peppa Pig being decapitated and all kinds!

loiner45 · 24/06/2011 13:50

so long as you make a distinction between the computer and the internet you will be fine letting him use one unsupervised at that age. Simply set up your wireless (if you have it) on that machine so that you have to enter a password to be connected. When he is supervised you enter the password, on his own he can't access online content. Not a problem.
I actually put our wireless router in a position where dcs couldn't get access in their bedrooms :-) when they hit a sensible age and really did use laptops for school I rearranged things!

philmassive · 24/06/2011 13:51

No. Too little I'd say. And hard to control what sort of images he might see on things like youtube without playing on it with him all the time. I wouldn't let me 4 year old.

WhoAteMySnickers · 24/06/2011 13:53

Buying another computer - fine.
Putting it in the bedroom of a 4 year old - hell no.

loiner45 · 24/06/2011 14:43

those who are saying 'no' - if it's on the grounds of internet access then that can simply be turned off.

would you say 'no' to books for an avid reader? this child is on the autistic spectrum and the use of technology to support children on the spectrum is well researched and well documented - they find computers non threatening and engaging. There is no reason at all why this would not be a good solution, although I would tend to give the new one to the older child, or if you an afford it OP get an ipad for the 4 yr old, lots of free apps you can download for him, very intuitive interface.

If you get a windows based PC here is a link to some software suitable for his age group and condition.

OP you really need to talk about this to people who know something about ASD and educational technology to help you make a sensible choice, well meaning though people here may be they do not have the specialist knowledge you need. It is not the same as asking about getting a PC in the bedroom for a neurotypical child. Good luck with finding a solution.

Original poster
MarioandLuigi · 24/06/2011 15:16

Thank you loiner45

That link is very helpful :)

OP posts:
ilovesprouts · 24/06/2011 15:22

my son is 4.6 and hes has no telly in his bedroom too

cestlavielife · 24/06/2011 16:24

yes - but load zac browser onto it. if you have ASd child asi do who wakes up at 0600 then computer in bedroom is only way to survive

zac browser -
www.zacbrowser.com/

gives access to safe youtube videoes etc

cestlavielife · 24/06/2011 16:24

www.zacbrowser.com/

cestlavielife · 24/06/2011 16:27

ps have you tried melatonin for getting to sleep? works for my DS

fairydoll · 24/06/2011 16:32

'4 year olds should be phsyically playing not sitting in front of a screen. why not just get a tv for him while you are there.'
isn't that a contradiction!

TheReturnoftheSmartArse · 24/06/2011 16:39

No PCs or phones in bedrooms in our house until 16. And no t
TVs ever either. There's just no need when we already have them in 2 family rooms. Then again, I'm undoubtedly very old fashioned. My DCs like doing their homework in the kitchen rather than bedrooms anyway cos they like to chat as they do it (which probably means it takes far longer than necessary!)

Insomnia11 · 24/06/2011 16:39

It's a personal choice. Personally I'd prefer computers in one communal room and not in bedrooms.

Original poster
MarioandLuigi · 24/06/2011 16:40

He has melatonin which means he does sleep for those 6 hours. Before he would nap for an hour, be awake for an hour and so on. This works better but its far from perfect :(.

He really like the number shark game but needs so much help with it. He isnt an able child so cant do alot of things for himself. He watches videos on youtube of people playing Mario games, but he cant click the mouse himself so I am not worried about him finding anything that it innapropriate because he wouldnt be able to. He doesnt understand cause and effect and he cant work the mouse because he has poor motor skills.

And he does play physically, he has a trampette in his room and another in the front room, but I dont want to be standing bouncing him at 4am in the morning because he cant do it by himself.

MorelliOrRanger - No he doesnt have any concept of the value of money, and he probably wont ever have it.

OP posts:
loiner45 · 24/06/2011 17:05

thanks for the zacbrowser link cestlavie I will pass it onto my friend with a young computer obsessed son with ASD :-)

marioandLiugi if his motor skills are that poor you might be better investing in device like an ipad, with a touch screen, or an alternative device that builds up specific skills such as some of the ones listed here. Do you belong to any kind of local support network where you could find out what is being recommended in the UK for his age group?

MindyMacready · 24/06/2011 17:09

It's not just the internet you need to worry about. Never mimd being able to control when DC powers up the computer (middle of the night?), you also need to be aware that USB sticks & DVDs from friends at school could wend their way, and you have zero control over the content of that media. Maybe not at 4, but at 8, who knows.

We have a separate family computer in the dining room, with it's own TV etc. DD1 is now just reaching the point that she's probably going to need her own as sharing with DD2 is starting to become an issue. DD1 is 14 BTW.

Just my 2p