Mumsnet Jury - computer in bedroom at 4?

[MarioandLuigi]

DS2 who has ASD loves the computer. He likes to play a couple of games and watch youtube videos. Its his obsession and he gets alot of comfort out of it. I want to get him one for his bedroom so he doesnt always hog the family computer and so he can use it when he wakes up early in the morning.

I didnt let DS1 get a computer in his room til he was 8 and he wanted to use it for his homework and his animation stuff.

AIBU? I dont think I am but something feels a bit wrong.

No, too young. How about a DS he can play games on instead?

I agree that giving a child a computer in their bedroom is setting yourself up for lack of control later. He might not be cruising for porn or doing anything unsafe on social networking sites now, but once the computer's in that room, how do you decide at what point you remove it into a family area that can be closely monitored? How would DS respond at that time? I think it's better to start as you mean to go on - DCs access computers in family space where anything is subject to parental inspection.

Also, as a side note, my DD (4) managed to seriously bugger up my laptop a few months ago. To this day I have no idea what she pushed, but in the 3 seconds I wasn't watching her she pushed a combination of keys that completely altered the way the keyboard worked and not even my techie friends could figure out what she'd done and how to fix it. Another reason for keeping your DS and a computer in sight.

DS is no good - he cant work it and its too small anyway.

I think I am going to go with a TV, that way he can watch it quietly when he wakes up at 4am. I agree with all the things you said and under normal circumstances I wouldnt let him have a TV either, but I need to do something.

Too young. But what we've done with Ds1, who is nearly 8 and also has ASD, is to assign him his own section on DH's computer. He has access to about 4 very safe sites and any thing else he wants to look at is password restricted, meaning he has to ask us to unlock them.

I really like the look of this. Apparently you can set which websites your children can use and when and how they can use the computer. You can use it as a virtual reward chart so they earn x minutes for doing x. When I get DS a laptop, I will install this on it.

I have just given DS my old ipod touch for his 6th birthday and he enjoys youtube to watch spiderman films and listening to Listen on a Prayer by Bon Jovi on repeat over and over and over ............- he is being assessed for ASD. He doesn't know how to go online on the ipod touch but will google on my laptop. Am happier with him on the ipod for now.

4 does seem awfully young to me, but that said, if my 11 year old AS DS1 were 4 now, I would probably be considering it as well. When he was 4, we had a PC in the attic room which was inaccessible to him most of the time and it was battered, slow old thing which ran on dial up so didn't get used much. Now our household has 3 laptops, a PC and a couple of iPads so the shift in our use of technology in the last 7 years has been huge and enough to make me think I would probably do it differently now than I did then.

Computer time (be it iPad, laptop or PC) is the only time that DS1 entertains himself apart from 10 minutes at night when he will read before bed. It is the only thing that truely engages him and so I am perfectly happy for him to slope off with the laptop or iPad to his room for a bit. Time is obviously limited to an extent, and he has his own section on each of the laptops or the PC which has just about every security and net nanny type thing available on it. I have yet to work out how to do the same on the iPad so I just have google on secure safe search thingy and hope that the other games on it are enough to distract him.

I do agree with the others that a laptop may be better for your DS though OP, as then you have the option of having him use it at the dining table or something and maybe over time build up to having it in his room?

My 4yo ds loves youtube too. Mostly he watches aeroplanes. He can log in, find youtube and type concorde, or whatever aeroplane he wants to watch. Most of the time he enjoys watching footage of various aeroplanes, but occasionally he brings up something nasty. The computer is in the main room, so I will be checking regularly and keep the sound up. That way, if he does bring up something nasty I get it off very quickly. Wouldn't feel comfotable with him up in his room without that supervision.
Also, something no one else has brought up, is that your older ds could feel hurt by his younger brother getting it at half the age he was. My parents used to do that with me and my younger db, and I found it very difficult. They always gave a reason like "he needs it more than you" or "he's having such a difficult time" which, if anything made me feel worse about it. They never realised how much it upset me.

If he can't get on the web I think it's fine!

a 4 year old shouldnt be stuck in his bedroom alone watching a computer screen

he should be interactiing with the rest of the family and be supervised at all times

Don't you think some types of kid at least, want some time alone?

YABU.

Judy, do you have a child with ASD?

Even though DP is an IT Consultant we won't be having a PC or TV in DD's room EVER

(that's the plan anyway

Our DDs used the family computer until they were 16.

Judy - If you are offering to come and sit with DS at 4am every morning then thats great, but I really need sleep

That reply was a bit flippant, but I do need to find a compromise because I dont know how much more I can take. He is up by 4am every morning and he wants to come downstairs to play on the computer or with his dinotrack and that means me being up with him to supervise.

I would do ipod touch if I were you and you can save videos onto it.

lisascat - DS1 is nearly 11 and he understands that his brother is different and needs to be treated differently, plus he also sees that the good points outway the bad - DS2 has no friends and doesnt get invited to parties for example.

happymm My DS 6 found that episode of Thomas too.

My DS will be 7 in a few months and I'm getting him a netbook. Mainly because he's starting juniors and they do a lot of research projects but mostly becuase he spends ages on you tube and google earth. He likes to look at railways and try and create them.

I think mario that getting him a pc is a good idea. I would possibly get some sites like you tube blocked that you can unblock when supervised but perhaps he could have DVDs/ downloads/ games you've vetted that are accessable to him when he wakes early? Maybe a netbook would be better as its cheaper, smaller so is 'less' than his Dbro got iyswim? and also he can come to where you are when using you tube?

yanbu imo.

no way absolutly not. 4? why would a preschooler have a pc?

'why would a preschooler have a pc?#

why not????

Because he enjoys watching it and I cant get him to do anything else!

The core problem is that he gets up at 4am, it seems. What have you tried to get him to stay in bed longer so far? Do blackout blinds help? A later bedtime? Would a simple clock in his room with a marker to show 'getting up time' work at all?