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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

the hate school fayres?

119 replies

thebird · 23/06/2011 15:26

Its that time of year again that makes me very grumpy - the school fayre. The weeks leading up to the Christmas and Summer events mean endless letters/texts/emails from school wanting money for raffle tickets, cakes, tombola items, jazzy jars, home clothes, book your slot on the boucy castle or go cart track forms. Its making me dizzy.

Then theres the joyful event itself. An afternoon of chaos and spending money buying other peoples unwanted toys and arguing with DCs when they want more money for candyfloss or a barbie with one leg. I've tried to be positive about these events but I just can't help but get annoyed. I'd rather give the school the money and do without the hassle - or maybe I'm just a grumpy old women!

OP posts:

gremlindolphin · 23/06/2011 20:52

OMG! I can't believe how miserable some people are on here!

The dcs adore their summer fair, the build up to it, getting it ready and then helping on stalls.

It makes me sad that someone even said "hope it rains" as they have obviously have never been involved and realised the enormous amount of effort to organise these things or even realised that the vast majority of people and children enjoy them.

nancy75 · 23/06/2011 21:00

dd loves the school summer fair. Last year the summer fair raised around £10k for the school. I take it all those people that hate the money grabbing pta/school don't mind their children using the stuff that is bought with the money made?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 23/06/2011 21:12

Re the funds - I happily give money! I prefer that. I'm not sure why people are assuming those who aren't interested in fetes etc aren't happy to give money in support of the school, or to help fund things.

Although - I wish they'd let me give them money instead of buying or making a cake, spending a fiver or more in the shop, for them to sell said cake for a pound. It would be much more logical for me to give them the fiver! I've never understood that.

I just want to take my children to school, have them educated, bring them home. I don't understand why that's seen as a bad thing. I don't want to be involved in this whole pta, school social thing. At previous schools my children have been to, the involved, fundraising parent scene was full of cliques and backbiting and people who thought they ran the school. It put me right off ever bothering with any of it.

I'd rather just hand over the money.

It doesn't make me (or anyone else who feels that way) 'miserable' in any way. Like say, not going socialising in the pub on a friday night doesn't make you miserable. It makes you the sort of person who doesn't enjoy socialising in the pub. Not joining a knitting club doesn't make you miserable. It makes you the sort of person who isn't interested in joining a knitting club. It only means you don't want to engage in that particular thing. It doesn't mean anything about you as a person and it doesn't mean that you wouldn't give the school money if it needed to raise some.

nancy75 · 23/06/2011 21:16

TheMagnificentBathykolpian - you might be happy to give money if asked but lots of parents don't. My daughters school is in a very well off area, there are no "poor" parents at the school, however the school never even gets all the money for school trips or dinner money. They wouldn't raise nearly as much if they didn't hold events.

Bunbaker · 24/06/2011 07:37

"dd loves the school summer fair. Last year the summer fair raised around £10k for the school."

£10,000!!! Is it a huge school or are you in an extremely affluent area?

"I just want to take my children to school, have them educated, bring them home."

So your children don't go on any school trips or enjoy any extra curricular activities? They will remember their schooldays as being the dullest time of their lives. The children at DD's school love the summer and Christmas fairs. They get excited about helping to set up. The first time I felt she was old enough to look around it on her own made it a thrilling adventure for her.

"I don't want to be involved in this whole pta, school social thing."

You don't have to be, not everyone is a social animal, but there is a difference between not wishing to be sociable and being bah humbug about it.

"At previous schools my children have been to, the involved, fundraising parent scene was full of cliques and backbiting and people who thought they ran the school. It put me right off ever bothering with any of it"

Please don't tar us all with the same brush. Our PTA members all want the best for the children at the school and are commited to making this happen. We don't have time to bitch and backbite about other people. Yes, there is a bitchy clique at school, but they have no interest in joining the PTA. Some of us barely know each other outside of school, but just say a friendly hello at the school gates.

transferbalance · 24/06/2011 10:34

schools are NOT charities, they are paid for from taxes

They should be funded properly without resorting to fayres and teh like to buy extra books and equipment and computers

it's a disgrace really

Bunbaker · 24/06/2011 10:38

I agree transferbalance, but the reality is that there just isn't enough money in the pot these days. Not supporting fund raising isn't going to make the LEA stump up more money for a school.

transferbalance · 24/06/2011 10:42

oh I do support, but it really is never-ending

bubblecoral · 24/06/2011 10:43

I agree that schools should be properly funded, but I would disagree that the taxpayer should pay for some of the things that our PTA provide. There are plenty of things that are a huge benefit to children, or things that are simply for them to enjoy, but they all make school a much nicer place to be and provide lasting memories even if they aren't essential to the children's education.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 24/06/2011 11:03

Well, out of the 5 schools my children have attended, 4 have been as I describe. I don't think it's unreasonable to not be bothered about finding out about number 5. Don't get me wrong, on nodding and a cheery hello basis, the parents at the current schools are really lovely. Nothing against them at all. I like them. They seem nice. But what if I do get involved, or try to, and find out that it's just the same thing all over again? I'll feel lousy. And second class. And surplus to requirements. I'm not willing to open myself up to that again. It really hurt to be the one standing alone in the yard while folks were laughing and chatting in groups and when you tried to join them, they were friendly enough in a vague polite way, but not properly chatty like they were with each other and there was nothing there to build on, iyswim.

And yes, the children go on school trips. They learn a lot from them. Education doesn't have to be on site all the time.

And I will always put my hand in my pocket.

But I am definately on the outside and feel it. And I'm not going to risk being made to feel like I've felt in the past when I've tried to make friends with other parents and be part of things. It's just not worth it. I'd rather keep the friendly hellos and smiles and feel good about everyone than find out it is in fact the same as before.

If that sounds selfish and ba-humbug, well, it'll just have to.

emmanumber3 · 25/06/2011 13:17

Heph - Thank you! Have been trying to get that point across at school for the past 7 years. It's a FAIR, FAYRE is food!

LittleMissFlustered · 25/06/2011 13:28

Our school fair this year is going toward raising money to help subsidise the year six residential trip, as the school budget cuts mean that the school will have no money to help toward costs, for anybody - regardless of income. Our fairs never raise more than a couple of hundred pounds, but every penny counts for us:( This is to be a rolling scheme too, as now that the school funding has been cut, the chances of it ever being reinstated is nil, even if the budget does ever go up.

Pandemoniaa · 25/06/2011 13:47

We turn up, we perform, the collected audience seem to love it, we get free refreshments and we go home. What's not to like?

But then these are not the umpteen school fetes that I had to attend through the dcs childhood. I don't really miss them awfully much, it has to be said!

tjacksonpfc · 25/06/2011 14:51

We had our school fete recently i'm on the pta at our school. Not including the stuff I bought for the fete I still spent £25 on the day. Before anyone asks no I am not loaded far from it. I do however understand what the money from the school fetes go to. Our biggest earners of the year are the summer and xmas fetes. We are a small school so need to raise as much money as we can to give our ds teh best possible opportunitys. At the end of the school fetes I'm exhausted and need a few days rest to recover due to medical problems. However this won't stop me.

All the people complaining about them how about you get involved even if its for 10 mins putting hairs and tables out or maning a stall you never know you might enjoy it and make new friends. Just a thought.

feistychickfightingthebull · 25/06/2011 15:09

yadnbu, my son's school fayre was this afternoon, thank God he did not want to go as he was shattered after football practise

Original poster

thebird · 25/06/2011 20:38

So I went to the school fayre. I left work early, signed DD out of class, made cakes, spent 3 hours in the school field being drained of cash. I've done my duty all I'm saying is I don't enjoy it.

OP posts:

Happymm · 25/06/2011 20:58

But your DD probably did!

Had ours today, was a lovely sunny day, really busy. Kids had fun. I was "doing the hell that is face painting". Yep, it's hell and back breaking to do. Yes we had a queue, yes we had a couple of parents say "oh, you should have some more help shouldn't you?"-why, you offering? "oh, no" STFU then

We raised over £6k for the school, which will benefit and enrich the children's school lives, in ways thwat wouldn't happen if we didn't raise the cash for doing it. I don't mind helping out, truly. It's not my first choice of things to do on a Saturday, but if no one volunteered then nothing would happen. And yes, you do meet people and make many more friends :)

If you don't like it, don't go. Miserable fuckers :o

Bunbaker · 25/06/2011 21:00

"We raised over £6k for the school,"

Wow! We thought we were doing well by raising £950. Do you live in a particularly affluent area or is it a huge school?

Bunbaker · 25/06/2011 21:15

Or perhaps we don't charge very much for the stuff we sell.

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