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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

the hate school fayres?

119 replies

thebird · 23/06/2011 15:26

Its that time of year again that makes me very grumpy - the school fayre. The weeks leading up to the Christmas and Summer events mean endless letters/texts/emails from school wanting money for raffle tickets, cakes, tombola items, jazzy jars, home clothes, book your slot on the boucy castle or go cart track forms. Its making me dizzy.

Then theres the joyful event itself. An afternoon of chaos and spending money buying other peoples unwanted toys and arguing with DCs when they want more money for candyfloss or a barbie with one leg. I've tried to be positive about these events but I just can't help but get annoyed. I'd rather give the school the money and do without the hassle - or maybe I'm just a grumpy old women!

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 23/06/2011 18:44

we do have the right to complain if the prices are hoicked up....as pointed out already....in the midst of cutbacks/job losses etc..

if we have 1 or 8 dc.....

janelikesjam · 23/06/2011 18:44

i loathe them. my 8 year old loves them. a very difficult situation....

i just cannot stand all the hanging around with people i have nothing in common with and all the playground politics. i never went to them when i was little at school, we never had that kind of pointlessstuff. we still had a lot of fun doing other stuff, playing in the streets, etc.

they just seem devoid of purpose apart from making money (a bit like Disneyland to me). I admire those parents who work so hard and raise the money, and I contribute, but, secretly, i like fayres not a jot.

GypsyMoth · 23/06/2011 18:45

over zealous PTA ...living their life through the children.....yuk!!

MumblingRagDoll · 23/06/2011 18:48

God you're bucket of fun and laughs aren't you ILoveTiffany

BeerTricksPotter · 23/06/2011 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yousankmybattleship · 23/06/2011 18:51

Seriously Tiffany? You think all those Mums and Dads who work on Friends comittees can't think of anything they'd rather do with their free time than stand on a tombola stall? Maybe they are just trying to contribute to their school and give their children every advantage possible.

pantaloons · 23/06/2011 19:06

I'm chair of the PTA at school, oh and secreatary as well. This is because there are 3 of us. We organise the summer and xmas fayre, 2 "late" disco's a year, 2 tea time discos, some sort of sponsored event (it was a bounce this year), car wash with the fire brigade and possibly some sort of Bettle Drive or similar.

It's bloody hard work and I know people on the playground see me coming and think "oh gawd, it's her again!" But last year we bought a £1000 worth of reading scheme books, new painting on the playground, put towards a new canopy and play equipment and paid for the buses for each class to go on a school trip. It's not all done with fund raising, but also through begging letters, writing for grants etc.

For me the main thing is that the kids love everything we do and benefit greatly from it, and if you think it's expensive to go to the Fair you should try and run it, none of us ever has the heart to put our receipts in and it all adds up.

I do sort of dread the Fair BUT if we 3 didn't do it the kids would miss out on so much fun and extra school equipment.

Rant over, carry on!

ElbowFan · 23/06/2011 19:09

FFS!! Schools need extra cash. If you don't want to pay money for fun & games then make a donation to funds instead. All this 'I don't want to' is childish petulant nonsense. If you'd spent any time finding out what the extra cash is used for you'd probably not be moaning.

hephaestus · 23/06/2011 19:12

The word 'fayre' makes my teeth itch.

It's a fair, surely. Fayre is an invented ye olde style word that ought to be bloody fare anyway, i.e food.

Bunbaker · 23/06/2011 19:13

"Seriously Tiffany? You think all those Mums and Dads who work on Friends comittees can't think of anything they'd rather do with their free time than stand on a tombola stall? Maybe they are just trying to contribute to their school and give their children every advantage possible."

I agree. I am not over zelaous at all. We do a summer and Christmas fair because they are our biggest fund raisers. We do a quiz night once a year which is hugely enjoyable, but it only raises a fraction of what the fairs do.

"they just seem devoid of purpose apart from making money"

But that is the purpose. Perhaps you should try and find out what the funds are spent on instead of whinging on and being so negative. Our PTA funds are spent on the children at the school and on equipment for the pupils.

pantaloons · 23/06/2011 19:16

Hephaestus - I'm never sure which it should be so used both in my post! It doesn't really matter at the minute as we are having a Gala this year (same thing different name!)

bubblecoral · 23/06/2011 19:19

I can't think of anything worse than working on the PTA, it's just my idea of complete hell. But then as I do loads of voluntry work for two other charities, and happily take a turn manning a stand for half an hour, I feel I do my bit for society without getting involved in organising fetes.

BUT, I think that PTA do an amazing job. They go from planning the Christmas bazzaar to planning the summer fete and back again, having to face all these miserly parents who go out of their way to hinder them helping to make money for their own childrens resources.

Our school events are well supported by the parents and the children love them. They raise thousands each year, and are a big part of the reason I think the school does so well. People complain that they can't get their children into local outstanding schools, but complain again when they are asked to fund an afternoon of children's entertainment when all the money directly benefits the children! It especially makes a difference in schools that don't get lots of money given to them by the government because they have a low number of FSM's children. These are the schools that don't have any money for extras without parents providing it.

I believe inactive PTA's are a big part of failing schools, and if parents work in partnership with schools to raise money the whole standard of the school is raised.

Our PTA funds the year 6 leavers disco, trips, visitors to school, playground games, computers, sports equipment, the swimming pool, costumes for the Christmas play, and probably more that I don't know about. How can anyone not want to support those things being in their child's school.

Bunbaker · 23/06/2011 19:27

"Our school events are well supported by the parents and the children love them. They raise thousands each year, and are a big part of the reason I think the school does so well. People complain that they can't get their children into local outstanding schools, but complain again when they are asked to fund an afternoon of children's entertainment when all the money directly benefits the children! It especially makes a difference in schools that don't get lots of money given to them by the government because they have a low number of FSM's children. These are the schools that don't have any money for extras without parents providing it."

Hear hear. That is exactly what happens at our school.

Your primary school has a swimming pool!!?

FingandJeffing · 23/06/2011 19:43

Of course schools that have high numbers on free school meals will find it harder to raise funds as these events are predominantly funded by parents.

You are fortunate to have the option of an outstanding primary with a swimming pool. An active pta is an asset to a school but it isn't the sole reason some schools struggle, socio-economic factors are much more important.

bubblecoral · 23/06/2011 19:47

Yes it does, but that's because about 10-15 years ago (before my time) the PTA bust a gut to raise the money to build it. It's only tiny and it's an outdoor one so doesn't get used apart from in the summer.

It's so small that it's only really suitable for year 4 and below, the older children have to go to another pool for their compulsory lessons. They open it up in the summer holidays and after school though so that all local children can go and have an afternoon splashing around for 50p an hour. But this can only happen because the PTA and parents make the effort to run it and raise money for it. They even have a day in the Easter where parents go and help clean the area, the portacabin changing rooms etc.

It's a fabulous facility, all thanks to parental support. If everyone said they didn't want to go to the fairs because they were a rip off, boring or whatever, hundereds of children would have missed out on it.

Bunbaker · 23/06/2011 19:51

"It's only tiny and it's an outdoor one so doesn't get used apart from in the summer."

Where we live it would get used about one or two days a year.

bubblecoral · 23/06/2011 19:51

No, it isn't the sole reason that some schools struggle, but parental support makes a huge huge difference. I really don't think it should be underestimated.

FWIW, my school isn't OFSTED outstanding, but imo it should be. I realise our children are lucky, but it's not all about luck, its about putting in what you want your children to get out.

HappyMummyOfOne · 23/06/2011 20:21

I remember a parent moaning last year about the fair and not supporting it but then wanted to know if the children were getting x, y and z!

Its hard working getting donations, finding volunteers, hours planning and often thankless but the PTA do it for the children and to ensure there are funds for the extras and sometimes essentials. Its part of the community, the children love it and bring their grandparents etc and make it a fun day out.

For those moaning and not contributung, i'm sure you're happy for your children to benefit from the funds.

Bunbaker · 23/06/2011 20:23

"For those moaning and not contributung, i'm sure you're happy for your children to benefit from the funds."

Perhaps their children should be exempted from the benefits then

Sparkletastic · 23/06/2011 20:25

OP - do your children enjoy it? If not then don't go but do make sure you actually donate some money via cheque or whatever rather than just saying that you 'would rather' do that.

These years go by so quickly - soon school fairs (never with a 'y') will be but a distant memory

Funtimewincies · 23/06/2011 20:30

I don't mind them. Ds1 takes a couple of £ from his money box, his Grandma is kind enough to bung him an extra £1 and he'll get a £1 from me too. Plenty of money to spend on whatever he choses and once it's gone, it's gone.

Would you prefer to be paying the REAL cost of taking your dc on school trips, etc. ?

knobbysEx · 23/06/2011 20:35

You ARE being grumpy! I've just happily donated 5 boxes of crap we don't want anymore, in the full knowledge that my beautifully spring cleaned house will be inundated with OTHER peoples' crap in a week's time. At least MY crap was clean and germ free. And I am the grumpiest mum when it comes to dirt and clutter!
But the kids LOVE it, and it's fantastic for the school funds. I love going and getting home baked buns and a cup of tea for 20p! I give the kids £3.00 each and tell them not to come back 'til it's all spent.....then we 'lose' everything they've bought either on the way home or in the following couple of days :o)

pointydog · 23/06/2011 20:35

Don't go to the fairs if you hate them so much. Take your kids on a fun day out instead. Go to the park or the ice cream shop.

tralalala · 23/06/2011 20:38

i love tiffany - at least I dont live my life online.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 23/06/2011 20:47

It's a good excuse for a clear out and the DCs love them - YABU

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