Ok people..to those of you who have it sorted, good luck to you... for those who don't ( & have constantly tried & worked hard too, but failed... please do not feel inferior)... it depends on so many things...you, your child, your partner, your life circumstances..your home, your storage in your home, if you have a good support network, if you have a healthy or unwell child).. We are all different.
When I had my first child much to my surprise, I took to it like a duck water, although I was not a naturally maternal person.. I had a husband on nights, no family support, my child was very poorly & never slept through the night untill he was 3, BUT & its a big but! I had the energy ... also & my house was set up ready for our first child..he was planned & I was 30 when i had him.. however i had a friend on her second child... you know one of those nice but slightly hyper demented women who can't stand still for too long, who would knock for me at 8 in the morning to take me here there & everywhere, I did go cos, although not a morning person.. I had become so because of my child & I thought it was normal when you have a baby to be up with the larks, after all, .. I hadn't been a mother before... but I did eventually start to feel like a failure...cos I didn't want to be talking to people at 8.30 about their childrens advances that defy human science. or about what super stars there children were.. I didn't know then that it wasn't normal to sleep for only an hour or too anight.. cos every mother apparent had a worse child.
I had my 2nd child 3 years later... he was the most.. complacent child ever.. slept throught the night.. I could put him down & he just sat there happy smiling & contented... I remember my freind telling me how lucky I was.. none of her children had been like that..( although to be hosnest she seemed to control them pretty well with some devious means LOL!... I laughed & said I had been repaid for how difficult things had been with my first child .. he had many health problems but the most serious was was diagnosed as asthmatic as an under one year old.. which apparently is very unsusal.. we had 2 near misses with him where came very close to death the doctors told us.
Sadly as I breathed a sigh of relief for the placidness of my second child... his developement didnot go so well he could talk at 3 & after many years of tests & appointments at Gt Ormond st he was diagnosed as severe Aspergers
My first child is now 17 & my second child 13... & now I don't have the energy... but i look back on those years when they were young & it was a joy to look after them... & I realise I enjoyed doing it & I had the control for want of a better word over my children to keep them healthy & happy... more than I ever realised... Now they are teenagers.. they seem to have lost the ability wash, keep clean to even put there dirty pants in the laundry basket... Ok i hear you say.. they are old enough that its their problem... yes 13 & 17 can seem like an independant age when yours are babies.. but if your child turns up in dirly clothes its the mother fault & you will still feel as guilty as you would if your 3 year old was the smell kid in the school.. so you still do the things for them that they cant or wont do themselves... its your home & you don't want it to deteriorate... so you jsut keep going... even though back in the day you thought by now you'd be all sorted... mothers should be supportive of each other..just as you find something easy someone will find it very hard & vice versa... MUM'S BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER!... Stop judging & preaching...& trying to out do each other... go on ! give it ago