M

[mykiddies]

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Let your dad have them one morning or afternoon....don't take away all his time with them

no your children are not a burden but, you know, it might be a chore for the GPs; it's all very well chosing to spend time with GCs but HAVING to is a different matter

I am sorry that your Mum is unwell, depression is grim

It might not cause a rift - rather a relief for them

She has them 2 afternoons a week. I understand her depression makes her not tired but just wanting to go to bed cause she can't be bothered or is not interested in doing anything else so she'd rather sleep...she sleeps til near noon then sometimes goes back in the afternoon also...yes she has been on ad's for over 20 years...they don't lift her...she can't be bothered with life...will go out occasionally to cinema/meal. She loves her grandchildren but isn't interested in doing anything with them...

OP you are describing classic depression and you sound a bit um judgemental about her

Burden was not the right word - a chore is maybe a better word. I certainly don't mean to sound ungrateful :( if I do decide on childcare where do I start. I know if I do I will be asked why are you doing this?

If she's been on the same meds for 20 years, she could do with a review. A lot of new ones have been invented since then, some of which don't make you sleepy.

You sound rather less concerned with her well-being, though, than with how much use she can be to you ... mmm?

My mum has been on many different ad's throughout this time plus changed her doses. She will seem fine for a time then will get v depressed and this is how it goes. Nothing has a long term effect. Her health has gone downhill a lot in last few years. I will consider other childcare options but I know that she will relay this as me saying she doesn't want them. So how do I go about this without causing upset (though I seem to have done this already)!

You posted about the same problem in May last year. Its obviously time to arrange childcare. My mam had me at 16 DB 18 DB30 DB32. She got her 1st job ever in her 40's. She point blank refuses to watch my kid unless its an emergency. I dont begrudge her that at all. Shes raised her kids.

You relay it by just doing it. There your kids so its up to you where you put them

*kids

Well, yeah, there's just doing it You could also discuss it with them - maybe your dad first, then both together? If it's obvious the current arrangement's just a bit much for them - they need their quiet time, time to themselves, etc - and also that they love having the kids, then how about letting them have some input & saying how many visits they'd be comfortable with? Maybe 3 times a week is too often, but one half day would be divine :)