To think there should be seperate playgroups for people like this?

[MumblingRagDoll]

I am talking about people who feel the need to SHOUT every flipping sentence when talking to their DC? I went to ours this morning and as usual there were umpteen women who couldn't speak at a normal level...

"FREDDY! WOULD YOU LIKE A BICUIT DARLING???"

"HARRY! LOOK! LOOK AT THE TRAIN!!"

"OOOOOOOHHHHH CHARLOTTE! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ANENOME YOU'VE DRAWN!!!! THAT IS AN ANENOME! AN-EN-O-ME"

I wanted to say "NO! BODEN-CLAD WOMAN...

IT IS AN ANEMONE...AN-EM-O.NE!"

The kids are all like this and they play quietly and well...it's just these bloody loud women who swan....and stalk and dash importantly about the rooms like they own them! I want a playgroup where people talk normally!

WHY? Why do they do this??? They also look like this all the time...never budge it..."Oooh...no Chloe! Don't push Harriet! She was on the train first

Have they all had lobotomies? Do they feel NOTHING but for and hour and a half? Really?

I hate shouty parents. But I did do a running commentary with my children when they were very young e.g. in supermarket "Oh look there are the bananas, you like bananas don't you, how many shall we get".

TBH it just seemed the natural thing to do, but it wasn't competitive parenting - honest!

But with the parents you talk about I would be tempted to take the p and do my own loud parenting e.g.

"Come now Oliver we have got to go now because we need to visit your daddy in prison now... Well we think he is your daddy."

We had a family like that on holiday last year, only the dad was German. The German for 'aren't you super Milly' is 'AH ZOOPER MILLY!' which is actually bloody hilarious when said in both a loud, braying yet also earnest way. DH and I still laugh....

We are in Wimbledon - braying, competitive mothering the norm!

We call them the 'Sweetie Darling' Mothers

ie 'No sweetie, don't poke that child in the eye darling, there's a good boy. Now stop screaming darling, would you like a treat'

I am a seventies style 'get back here now, do I have to count to three??? one more time and we are leaving' parent. I have always thought they must think I am dreadful and fully half expect to see myself described on Mumsnet as below one day

"AIBU to think that carrying a child out of Eddie Catz screaming after she disobeyed the 500th instruction not to pinch her sister is the mark of a mother with absolutely no parenting skills at all"!

PS - Ah Zooper Milly is fantastic! When I was a child we camped next to a family with 2 small boys, who explained to my parents that they had loaed up the car with small treats that would be released at crucial points on the journey home (ie whenever the boys wanted) to alleviate boredom in the car.
My parents thought this was so hilarious that they shared it with us (obv, we wondered where our treats were ).

'Would you like a small treat Frazer?' remains a family joke to this day!

MumblingRagDoll: if there were "umpteen" women doing this - perhaps there are separate playgroups for people like this, and you were in it?

We have a woman in our village like that. Her children are a m a z i n g. Her youngest is 5 and just learning to read.

She was in the library and got cross "no darling, you don't just push any old button, we read them first, now read (child's name), what does it say". The poor child stuttered and stammered over ever word, with her correcting him at the top of her voice. Wouldn't really have called it fluent reading.

Next week my friend bumps into her at the library again "oh (child) is such a wonderfully gift and talented reader, I keep having to come here, he reads 3 books in a day you know". Said in that type of happy slappy voice indicating that every other child is rubbish.

Sorry first time she was at the self service computer thingy our library has.

I think I am a GOOD SHARING MAX parent. I would do the deep dark wood / Gruffalo / white feather / rhymes with dog thing.

But I don't have a special children voice. I just talk to them normally, but pretty constantly and often on an 'improving' bent.

Isn't it odd how the loud parents seem to have children who ignore them a lot of the time?

I was on the bus with dd a while ago, sitting near the front on the top deck, when our peace was shattered by the arrival of two show-offy shouty mums and their combined offspring. The children were bouncing about and bickering at the front of the bus while the mums fluttered about begging them to sit still and being very forced-jolly trying to let everyone else on the bus know how educational their trip to the sealife centre had been. The children didn't take a blind bit of notice.

Eventually one of the mums gave up and started saying "I've got mango, who wants mango?" in a sing-song voice and getting little tubs out of her bag. Then she sang a song to the children while they ate the mango.

Dd and I shared a large bag of pick 'n' mix and tried not to catch each other's eye.

Oh and I have just remebered what my own parents used to call people like this ' Professional Parents'. I never knew what they meant until I met them myself!

PS - i am not a total deadbeat, we also do the handing over money, count the shops thing - it is more just the loudness and the smug lack of discipline I object to . And the complete lack of an adult sense of irony about the craziness of it all

we had the shouty woman in macdonalds yesterday.
2 women and a toddler. fat woman sneezes so toddler says 'bess oo'
well that set the skinny woman off. for 10 minutes we had 'CLEVER GIRL LEXIE' 'LEXIE BLESS YOU' 'AWW WHO'S CLEVER LEXIE' 'LEXIE CLEVER GIRL'

lexie was so excited at all this, she didnt spot fat woman pinching her chicken nuggets off the high chair tray

Twats. There was a parent like this in Blockbuster video the other week loudly saying 'yes we have seen the BFG havent we Tilly. Harry remember we saw Shrek 2 last week' while looking round to see if anyone gave a shit. Answer- they didnt

Gotta love a bit of stage parenting, it greatly amuses me :o

Would be fun to play around with it and say "Tarquin darling shall we practise reciting your swearwords in French now?" "ooh, that's a lovely painting Belinda, very much in the cubist style isn't it, and that gun and blood splatter is ever so realistic!" or just a simple "right darling, time for lunch, macdonalds three times in one week, aren't you a lucky boy?!"

I am a loud shouty mum at toddler group. I have to be loud, I'm stuck behind the counter making tea and dishing out the toast as needed :o We go through a lot of tea, many many biscuits and a loaf of toast a week. We don't have many show-off types, usually more the "oh good god what the hell is s/he doing now?" types. If I find out how we manage it I shall pass on the knowledge.

These are making me laugh, I've seen so many mums like this!!!! Ooo, the running commentary.. the shouting.. the fixed inane grinning.. all really quite funny. SIL and BIL are like this - must interact, entertain and be ever so loud about it at all times when in company of any sort. We are super duper parents ALL THE TIME. OH YES!!!

So DH and I just sit back, let them get on with it (taking our two DC into the fray) and knock back another glass of wine whilst we watch?!?!!?

so whats the opposite to a boden voice - a primark voice! Ops post stinks of insecurity to me! Such a load of middle class haters on mumsnet bores me to boden and back with a short cut through the local council estate!

Final thought on this (which I agree is hilarious) is that we do seem to divide into 2 camps on this, which doesn't surprise me as I actually have some 'Good Sharing Max' friends who are lovely, but just happen to be very different in this respect from myself! To return to the original point, I think that playgroups do actually tend to divide up into the two groups, I have always liked cup of tea / biscuit / chat with sane mother / watch children type groups. I have friends who like loudly-doing-playdoh-with-own-child-and-other-people's type groups! SO I suspect they do feel nothing but throughout and probably you might need to find a new playgroup !!

Hilarious - the thread, not my post, obviously!

I was in a coffee shop with my DD1 and DH a while ago and there was a woman at the next table with her DH and DC like this. SHOUTING about everything, trying to get everybody's attention.

They sold books in the cafe and I said to DH something along the lines of " we should get that book for DD" and she butted into OUR conversation going "OH, that's the TROUBLE with this place ISN'T it? SO much temptation!!"

Sounds friendly but it was intrusive and overbearing. Then she got her DD's toy and started shouting at her DS "LOOK, it's Millie's AMBULANCE!!!" and beaming around her to see how much attention she was getting.

May god strike me down for this but their picture of perfect harmony was disrupted when their DD through a drink (not hot! No injury!) over herself and they realised all the spare clothes were in the car. I had a spare babygrow I would have quite happily given away (and would still have if the poor baby didn't have any change of clothes) but this woman had titsed me off so much I didn't bother.

Oh God! This is me. I don't mean to, I don't think I'm loud but I do talk to him. All. The. Time. In the street. In the supermarket. And I have a Bugaboo. And a Sophie dog teething toy. How did this happen to me - I'm from a good working class background!

In my defence, I have no clue what I'm doing, I think someone once told me, when I wailed but what do I do with him? "just talk to him" and as I live in what must be, A LOUD PARENT area, I've fallen into this trap!

I do says "that's lovely sharing" to DD1 when she's nice to her sister though

pixel love the mango tale! Reminds me of that Catherine Tate sketch with the "Would you like a rhubarb and cinnaon yogurt Tarquin? Naomi and I are having Rhubarb and Cinnammon yogurts....would YOU like one darling?"

Over and over again!

So many funny ones here!

There's NOTHING wrong with talking to them Tea! We all do it....it's the intent...some people are doing it and looing around for approval....wanting people to notice them somehow....and BOOMING as they do.

But dont worry! We all talk to our DC! We'd be shocking parents if we never!

*listentothemusic" -I reckon coffee shops within book shops have probably got to be a guaranteed place to find these people -its a double whammy really isn't it?

We were driven out of one once in Cheltenham when a loud dad insisted on letting his toddler toddle around the cafe and nearby bookshelves, following her about half a pace behind, constantly doing the LOUD running commentary. It drove DP nuts and he's usually oblivious to things like this.

For the rest of that day we kept bumping into them in various shops and he was still being loud.

It must be very tiring being that sort of parent

I'm normal ish volumed but have a shouty son. Bear in mind I'm very close to him as he shouts:
'MUM, AM I ALLOWED TO HAVE WINE? IS IT FRENCH WINE? ARE YOU DRINKING THE WINE? CAN I HAVE SOME WINE NOW?'
It was ribena but in a clear glass, which really threw him. It was also a playgroup for under fives.

Love that Catherine Tate sketch. She does the accents so well.